Songs that drove me crazy this year.

I've made it no secret that most of the new songs that come out these days annoy the heck out of me, and this year was no different. I understand that different people have different tastes in music and therefore, what sounds irritating to some sounds beautiful to others.

But, as I've done in the past two years, I will now list the songs that I found quite irksome this year. I apologise if I've offended anyone's taste in music but please know that it is not intentional.

1. 'Live while we're young' by One Direction

You know, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the main reasons why Justin Bieber's been getting into a bit of trouble lately is because he's secretly distraught that he has lost some of his creepy fans to the 1D boys.
Anyway, sorry to digress, back to the original topic. I've not heard of these guys until this year, but apparently they've been around since late last year and the song of theirs that I am most familiar with ('What makes you beautiful') also came out last year. Anyway, I found that song to be quite cheesy and annoying and this song 'Live while we're young' is no different. Call it a clash in musical tastes but this didn't do it for me.
And the lyrics 'I know we only met but let's pretend it's love'? OUCH!!!!!!

2. 'Gangnam Style' by Psy

I didn't hate this song. Not saying that I like it but it didn't make me want to kill myself while listening to it, either. If anything I thought it was pretty catchy even if I couldn't understand half of what Psy was saying so I guess you could say that it drove me crazy in a more positive way.
And watching different parodies of the song on youtube was simply hilarious.
Just don't ask me to do the dance. I have two left feet and would struggle to do even this one.

3. 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' by Taylor Swift

Two blogs ago, I commented that Taylor Swift's 'I write songs about guys I broke up with' schtick was getting tiresome. This song pretty much convinced me of that.
Aside from the song's rather childish title, to me it lacked that 'straight-from-the-heart' feel that her previous songs had and came across as an immature rant by a stuck-up girl who thinks that all guys are lame.
And Taylor, like I said before, songs like this do more to convince listeners that perhaps you are the reason for your failed relationships rather than the guy you were seeing.

4. 'Star Ships' by Nicki Minaj

I know that this song came out last year but I didn't hear it until the beginning of this year so I will count it in my list of annoying songs for 2012.
I don't even know where to begin. The first time I heard this song on the radio, it wasn't even 1 minute old before I started to feel a shooting pain in my forehead and my eardrums start to bleed. Too loud, too garish and Minaj's delivery is absolutely ANNOYING!!!! Seriously, what's with the different voices and the weird accents? If I wanted to listen to a multi-voiced rapper I'd personally convince Robin Williams to put out a rap record. At least it would be funny rather than irritating.

Well, there you have it. Another year, more songs that made me want to smash the radio (well, at least 3 of them did).
I wonder what 2013 will bring?

Diapers are for BABIES, NOT ADULTS!!!!!!

In the two (mostly) magical years that Bernd has been churning out blogs, he has ran into some pretty weird stories that made news. From madcap celebrity antics, everyday folks committing acts that can only be described as looney tunes, sharing some stories that (hopefully) inspire, your's truly always had something weird and wonderful comment on.

The entry for this blog is no different.

According to a TV documentary that is set to screen in the UK, there are adults that are literally acting like babies, complete with wearing diapers attending fake nurseries accompanied by their spouses acting as their 'parents'. The reason? Because apparently behaving like a child takes the person back to their carefree and stress-free childhood years.

Honestly, I don't know what to say. Sure, there are times when I get so stressed and flustered that I wish that I was a kid again (to all you children out there wishing that you were 'grown up', believe me when I say that being an adult totally sucks and that you should enjoy your childhood years while you still can) but whenever that happens, I watch old TV shows that I used to enjoy, listen to songs that were popular during my younger years, read a comic book, look at the old photo albums - in other words, do things that remind me of those carefree, innocent years just to clear my head. I don't go around trying to squeeze into the clothes I used to wear as a kid, let alone behave AND dress up like a baby. I hate to sound hypercritical but that to me is the type of behaviour that warrants several sessions with a psychiatrist.

And you want to know what the sad part of this story is? Why are these peoples' spouses going through with this game? Pretending to be their other half's 'parents'!? Geez! I thought that part of being married to someone meant that you would look out for each other and make sure that your partner is well. Again, apologies for sounding cruel and judgmental, and no disrespect intended, but anyone who engages in this type of behaviour cannot possibly be all that well.

But, who knows? Maybe it's just another one of those silly 'fads' that are just coming out. Stupid, dangerous acts such as 'planking' and car-surfing became fads at some stage, why not turn disturbing behaviour into a fad? After this one, maybe we can get someone to turn behaving like a wild animal of your choice into a fad?

Seriously people, I understand that the real world can be cruel and that sometimes you just need an escape, but acting in a disturbing and weird manner is not the best way to deal with it. Read a book, watch TV, go for a walk or a run, go on a holiday....THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO COMBAT STRESS!!!!! It's no use trying to deal with it in a manner that could potentially land you behind bars - or in a padded room locked up in a strait-jacket.

 

Mate, are you serious!?

According to recent news, health workers in northern New South Wales have recently been slapped with a ban on referring to patients as 'mate', along with other terms of endearment such as 'honey', 'sweetheart' and 'darling'.

Apparently, this was a response to complaints from a few patients which prompted a request from staff to maintain a more 'professional' relationship with patients.

Ok, I will admit it now, but Big Bad Bernd gets nervous whenever he has to visit a doctor or a hospital, even when he is not a patient. I don't know why - I guess I just have trust issues seeing as how doctors are only human and therefore are capable of making mistakes and let's face it, being told that there is something wrong with you or that you'll need to be knocked out and then sliced and diced so that they can rectify whatever it is that is causing you grief is not exactly fun. Therefore, whenever I go to the doctor it would make me feel more at ease if they called me 'mate' or 'buddy' just to show that they mean well and that everything will be ok. It's a lot more comfortable than being given an ice-cold stare and a monotonous voice outlining what is wrong with you and what they are going to do to you to correct the problem. You might as well be sitting in a courtroom before a judge and told that you will be locked up for a long time or worse.

Ok, I understand that there are some people who don't take too kindly to such terms. They may find them immature or downright condescending. Therefore, don't use the term on them right away. Get to know the person first and establish some sort of rapport before you try to befriend them. That way, you'll know whether or not they want the 'friendly' doctor or the 'ice-cold' doctor.

So, to those out there who sent that memo, Bernd understands perfectly where you are coming from, but he thinks it is a little too extreme to ban all health workers from trying to be friendlier and approachable towards their patients. I'm sure that not all patients are against it, heck I'm sure that most of them quite like it. So rather than impose a ban why not just encourage them to choose their audience carefully. That seems a lot less tyrannical.

In other words, 'take it easy, mate!'

Quick take:

When Taylor Swift burst into the public eye some three years ago, I had nothing but high praise for her. It would've been an overstatement to call me a fan, but I thought she was cool. I mean, she writes songs that come from the heart, has a decent voice, loves her fans and projected a wholesome, down-to-earth image.

Unfortunately, that was then and this is now.

I don't know about you, but her whole 'I date boys, break up with them and then write songs about them' shtick is not only getting old, but it is getting quite irritating. It has gone to the point that I am starting to wonder if maybe the problem in her relationships is her and not the poor guy who is being shamed in her increasingly-annoying 'he-was-this-and-that-and-so-it-couldn't-last' songs.

Anyway, she was in the news recently over allegations that her relationship with UK boy band One Direction's Harry Styles is tearing him and his bandmates apart.
It all began when Styles ditched his bandmates to fly from New York to London on Swift's private jet. The rest of his band had to fly separately, were then mobbed by fans upon arrival at Heathrow airport (during which one of them was injured as a result of the chaos) while he and Swift arrived unnoticed and got away unharmed.
Since then, a rift has formed between Styles and his bandmates and fans are now branding Swift the new 'Yoko Ono'.

Well, what quite a turnaround for poor Taylor, isn't it? Three years ago she was the darling of the pop music genre (I'm sorry, but she never struck me as a 'country artist', she always seemed more 'pop' to me) and now, she starting to ruffle feathers. Oh boy, could she soon be headed towards the same, dreaded 'everyone's darling today, everyone's figure of hate' place in which Delta Goodrem now unhappily resides?

I guess we'll find out soon enough. Taylor, you have been warned. 

You ungrateful snob!

Back in the 90's, Melissa George was the darling of Australian TV thanks to her role as Angel Parish in Home and Away. She would go on to eventually leave the show after three successful years to try her luck in the US and well, I'd say she did quite good for herself. She appeared in the TV series Alias, Friends, Charmed and Grey's Anatomy and the films The Amityville Horror and Derailed.

Last year she appeared in the critically-acclaimed Australian drama series The Slap and is now the star of a BBC series called Hunted.

Needless to say, Australia would be proud of her. Unfortunately, a recent tirade she made prior to appearing on The Morning Show on Friday morning may have dented her reputation in the eyes of the Australian public.
When George found out that the show's hosts Larry Emdur and Kylie Gillies were planning to ask her about her stint on Home And Away, George threatened to walk out of the studio and later went on a rant about how she would rather talk about her other roles (which is understandable) before unleashing a venomous attack on the Australian media.
While George has stated that she is always happy to return and work in Australia, she might not do so in a while out of apparent fear that she will be bogged down by questions about her stint on Home And Away.
'I don't need any credibility from my country anymore! If they have nothing intelligent to say, please don't speak to me anymore. I'd rather be having a croissant and an espresso in Paris or walking my French bulldog in New York City!' she said.
She also took a shot at the show that made her famous, stating that the Home And Away execs should pay her because, as she states, 'Nobody does more promotion for that f***ing show than me!'

George and her Home And Away co-star Dieter Brummer back in the day.

Well, there you go! Talk about ungrateful and snobby! While I can somewhat sympathise with Ms. George - it does get exhausting having to always talk about what you did in the past rather than what you are doing right now - she could have conducted herself with more dignity and grace. Taking a shot at an entire country and also the show that made you!? Girl, you must be out of your mind! Way to bite the hand that fed you all those years ago.
 And taking a cheap shot at the media? You do realise that as deplorable as some of their actions are, they are the people that have the power to trash your image if they wish to do so, right?

And the fact that she would even bring up that whole 'croissant and espresso in Paris and walking the dog in New York City' line makes it even worse. What an utterly shameless display of arrogance and snobbery. We're sorry, Ms. George, that not all of us can even imagine how good it would be to hang around in those beautiful cities whenever we please. Not all of us are celebrities who appear on TV and in movies and not all of us can marry and then date a string of wealthy people (I don't want to assume you're a gold digger, but considering the types of men you're usually linked with, some people WILL get suspicious). If that kind of life is the one you'd prefer, by all means live it. But don't you shove it up our faces because quite frankly, that's just arrogant and disrespectful and most of all, NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!

I hope the next time you decide to return to your homeland you pack and extra supply of manners and grace with you, Melissa. In the meantime, enjoy your self-imposed exile, eat all the croissants you want, sip as many espressos as you can until the awful ringing of Australian accents has left your head. And don't worry, we won't be holding our breaths awaiting your return.

BECAUSE NO ONE WILL CARE.

Quick Shot: So, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have split and it was Selena who ended it. I only have three things to say about this:

1. She probably called it off because she was tired of receiving death threats from Bieber's legion of psycho fans.

2. Ok, screw the zombie apocalypse, we have something much worse on our hands - TEENAGE GIRLS ON A RAMPAGE!!!!!!!!

3. Those One Direction boys heard about this and thought, 'Oh man, there goes our 15 minutes!'

Santa Bernd?

Note: This blog was created by a very, very bored man. It is not meant to be taken seriously.

It's news that is guaranteed to make a child cry. Santa won't be coming to town this Christmas.

Ok, calm down, kiddies. He'll probably still slide down your chimneys on Christmas Eve but he'll probably be a no-show in your local shopping centre.

According to a major recruitment company that hires volunteers willing to don the red and white costume to play the big guy in department stores and shopping centres, there have been a shortage in volunteers this year and they are desparate to fill up the numbers. At last count, an estimated 50 more people are needed to fill up 600 pairs of Santa boots. Age, nationality and even gender are not an issue.
Aspiring applicants must undergo police and background checks and attend 'Santa School' before starting the job. Oh well, so much for the folks planning to imitate Billy Bob Thornton's character on that film Bad Santa.

Big Bad Bernd read this article and thought to himself, 'Hmmm.....maybe I should apply for this. I'll be making plenty of children happy and will be spreading that Christmas joy around.'
To that end yours truly sat down and compiled a list of pros and cons regarding his decision. Let's examine them now, shall we?

PROS:

1. Bernd is a funny guy:
I hate to sound conceited but, yeah, I've been told by friends and family that I'm a pretty funny guy. Yeah! Can we get a round of applause? *Crickets chirping*

Man, tough crowd! Even so, I may not have been able to get a laugh out of you, dear readers (unless my self-deprecating sence of humour worked), but I'm pretty sure I can elicit some giggles from the kids.

2. Bernd is a good boy:
Skip the police and background checks, folks, because you won't find anything on me. I'm a good boy who believes that crime and stupid behaviour doesn't pay.

3. Bernd is flexible:
No, I can't wrap my legs around my head or do the splits but when it comes to flexible working hours, I'm your man. Just let me know what hours I'll be working and I can easily schedule my daily life around it.

4. Bernd is great with kids:
I'm not patronising enough to lie to them, I can be funny without being crass and I'm generally a good sport when it comes to them. They are, after all, the future.

Ok, there are the pros. Let's go to the other end of the scale.

CONS:

1. Bernd is grumpy:
If I'm in a bad mood, I have a bad habit of letting it show sometimes. Might be too much for the kids, especially if Santa Bernd rolls his eyes at some of their wishes or tells them to shut-the-fire-truck-up when they're carrying on too much. *Sigh* so much for that part about not being crass in front of children.

2. Bernd is brutally honest and cynical:
Let's face it, some kids will make wishes that are out of this world. While Bernd would try his best to be supportive to the little tykes, he can't promise them that he won't be trying to stifle his laughter or cynicism upon hearing some wishes. Let's say a kid told him 'Santa, I wish I could fly'. Bernd would probably nod his head while tears leak from his eyes due to the strain of trying hard not to laugh.
And (no disrespect to anyone out there) if a chubby kid were to sit on his lap and wish to be thinner, Bernd might accidentally say something like 'Then why don't you get up and move it, fatso!' Yeah, not pretty isn't it?
And if a kid makes a wish like bringing a loved one back from the dead....wow. Let's not even go there.
And if a kid makes a wish that is selfish or despicable (ie: bringing harm onto someone they don't like or wishing for all the money in the world), or worse, tells him that he's not the real Santa, Bernd just might get the ol' heave-ho from the store's staff for making a kid cry.

3. Bernd is vertically challenged:
I don't know if there is a height requirement in the job description but considering that some children grow fairly quickly nowadays, he could find himself being mistaken for one of Santa's elves who decided to try on Santa's suit.

4. Bernd is a skinny man:
The last time Bernd went to Munich for the Oktoberfest, he decided to get himself a lederhosen to fit in with the locals. He was gently told that he was too short and thin to fill one out. A Santa suit would be no different. Unless the store folks are willing to get him a fat suit, he would be absolutely miscast as the 'jolly fat man in red'.

5. Bernd doesn't always feel comfortable being poked, prodded and hugged by children:
Ok, this doesn't apply to all kids. They're cool peeps and Bernd is more than happy to get a hug from them if they ask politely and if their parents are ok with it.
But I will say that if a kid decided he/she wanted to poke Bernd in the face, pull on his beard, play with his fake belly it might get tiring after a while.
And if a kid who had just licked their hands decided they wanted to touch Bernd - that would be too much. Santa Bernd would probably leap out of that chair and run away screaming like a cat on fire. YECH!!!!!!

Well, I think we've covered it all. As you can see, Bernd is probably not the best choice to play Saint Nick, but he still wishes the recruitment companies, department stores and of course, all the little kiddies all the best.

Some folks just have no shame

A few days ago, US rapper Soulja Boy was forced to apologise to his fans on Tumblr after posting a picture of his naked penis on his account.
He claimed that he had 'accidentally' posted the offending picture and quickly took it down once he realised what he had done. Unfortunately, some of his fans saw the photo before he removed it.
Thus, he was forced to apologise, simply posting 'I apologise to ever seen that, accident'.

Yes, that was the apology. Bad grammar and all.

Soulja Boy

Forgive me for coming across as a cynical and judgemental jerk, but how the hell do you ACCIDENTALLY post a picture of your bits on the internet, let alone take your time in realising the error of your ways long enough for your followers to admire (or perhaps be sickened by) your handiwork? I understand that maybe he intended to send the photo privately to a girl he's dating but then inadvertently posted it publicly for all to see and then left the computer before realising what he did. Yeah, that sounds like an honest, though highly unfortunate mistake.
But still, when you post something on your account in your preferred social networking site, you'd make sure that you're not setting yourself up to look foolish and if you're uploading photos, that the CORRECT photos are being uploaded. It does pay to revise before you post, people.

And as for Soulja Boy, for a guy who's had a history of taking photos of his erections and posting them on social media for his female fans' pleasures (this guy should really change his pseudonym to 'Shameless Boy' or, more appropriately, 'Dickhead'), his excuse that he made an accident seems futile. I was more inclined to believe that he had every intention of posting the picture but only took it down when someone reminded him that he could get in big trouble for it. Well, accident or not, I hope Mr. Boy realises from here on out that one must always think before they post on social media. Making the wrong post not only opens the poor sap into a world of ridicule, but can get them into serious trouble.
Unfortunately, considering that he has angered some of his fellow hip hop artists and the US military with his profane song lyrics and immature behaviour, I don't think he'll learn his lesson in a hurry.   

In other news, a 23-year old man, identified as Jeremy Owens, was arrested after flashing his breast implants at fellow customers at a Walmart store in Pennsylvania. He tried to flee by boarding a bus but was dragged out kicking, screaming and spitting. He was allegedly intoxicated and was charged with aggrevated assault, drug possession, making terrorist threats and public drunkenness.

Inexplicably, he wasn't charged for indecent exposure.

Jeremy Owens

Ok, judging by the looks of this guy, he is probably thinking of undergoing a sex change. In my honest opinion, he looks like a cross between Robert Pattinson and Jennifer Lawrence with a bit of Ke$ha thrown in. I guess he had too much to drink and decided that he wanted to show the whole world a preview of 'the new Jeremy' (or whatever girls' name he intends to re-christen himself with once the surgery is complete). But that's just my opinion - and I sincerely hope that is the reason why he decided to get implants done in the first place!

Well, that's about it. Short and sweet. It is funny seeing the things that people do to get attention. But seriously, while pushing the envelope once in a while is all good, you have to make sure that you can get out of it with your reputation and dignity intact. It only takes one costly mistake to render your image forever damaged. People can and will associate you with your blunder for a long time.

But at the end of the day, some folks just have no shame.

Teacher, you get an F

WARNING: This blog contains strong opinions that may offend. Apologies if I inadvertently insult anyone but that was never my intention.

I am very pedantic when it comes to spelling, punctuation and grammar. What you don't know, dear reader, is that whenever I compose these tirades that I like to call blogs I always use the spell-check function on Microsoft Word just to make sure I spell certain words or even sentences correctly.
This is not to say that my spelling, punctuation and grammar is always perfect - I do make mistakes once in a while - but I always try to ensure that I am spot on.
But you will never, I repeat NEVER catch me using words incorrectly. No offence to anyone but I find it astonishing that some people cannot tell the difference between some words that sound alike but have different meanings. Take the words 'allowed' and 'aloud' as an example. They are not the same word, people. Same with the words 'there', 'they're' and 'their'. I shake my head at the number of times I catch someone using those three words in the wrong context - and that's just newspaper and internet reporters.
Unless you're sending out an SMS on your phone or an informal message to your friends or family on some social networking website of your choice you really have no excuse to be mixing those words up on a frequent basis.

Now, whenever I send SMS messages I do abbreviate some words and expressions (ie: later written as 'l8er', because written as 'coz', seriously as 'srsly') just to save time and space. But that said, I will never allow any SMS-style spelling get in the way of my real spelling ability. Could you just imagine how my blogs would look if that were the case? There would be a decided lack of vowels and numbers slotted in the wrong areas.

A story I read today in the paper made me cringe. If you've read some of my past blogs, I've ranted that some kids these days are ill-mannered and disrespectful, had irresponsible parents and that schools have gone soft and stupid on them.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse I read today that some school teachers have been caught using SMS-style spelling and grammatical errors when filling out school reports, report cards and lesson plans. Some parents also complained that their childrens' teachers were lacklustre and languid in their approach to their profession, taught incorrect information and provided children with 'word lists' to study that were littered with spelling errors.
One teacher griped claimed that many graduate teachers who lacked a basic understanding of grammar, spelling and punctuation only have themselves to blame due to their lackadaisical approach to their own schooling. She added that she was concerned for the future of her childrens' learning as long as teachers like these existed.
The situation is so dire that the federal government plans to give current teachers specialist training in which they will be mentored by more experienced teachers.

I have always said that I am glad I was a schoolkid years ago rather than now. It was bad enough being bullied back then and having to put up with a few idiot teachers whose mind-numbing and incoherent methods prevented me from realising my full schoolwork potential. But at least I still finished in one piece with my sanity mostly intact and with decent, if not outstanding grades.
Today, bullying has escalated to include cyber-bullying and assaults with deadly weapons, more kids are skipping class, schools are becoming more lax and ridiculous with their rules and now some teachers are getting dumber. Seriously, SMS-style spelling and grammatical errors? School reports, lesson plans and report cards filled with errors? A lax approach to their profession? Wow, just wow. Are you telling me that there are people out there educating the youth of our nation who can't even form simple sentences without screwing up!? The thought of it makes me sick.

Seriously, if I had a kid and he/she brought home a bad report card that was full of spelling and grammatical errors from their teacher I would be livid. Not just from the kid's lack of effort in class but from his/her teacher's lack of effort in their profession. I would immediately report the teacher and push for them to be sacked and sent back to school. Call me overdramatic but that's just how I feel. I would be absolutely disgusted if I knew my children were being taught by some incompetent imbecile who spells simple words with numbers inserted to substitute at least two letters in that word.

To you teachers out there who make these mistakes, do you review what you've written before they get sent out to students and their parents? Did excessive use of your electronic devices scramble your brain cells to the point that you do not remember the original spelling of certain words or are you so dumb that you cannot seem to differentiate between school reports and text messages sent to friends? Your job is to teach these kids, people! If you have lost your ability to spell simple words correctly and COMPLETELY and to formulate sentences without messing up then perhaps it's time to look for a new line of work. How do you expect to be taken seriously when angry parents are howling for your dismissal?

Let's suppose your child was misbehaving in class and you got a letter from their teacher expressing their concern. How would you react if the letter looked like this?

Dear *insert name here*

*Insert child's name here* wuz l8 4 class 2day an wuz actin lyk a tool so I snt him hom erly. Sry 4 da trouble.  

This is a serious problem, people. If the teachers in our schools can't even do their jobs to the best of their ability then the children of today and maybe even the future are in serious jeopardy. Luckily, the government have seen this problem and are taking steps to fix it, which I am all for. You can fix the school and put up new rules, regulations and systems to raise students' performances but what's the point if their teachers can't do their part?
Let's keep the SMS-style spelling and real spelling separate. And let's learn how to use words and formulate sentences the correct way. Teachers back when I was a kid were able to, there's no reason why some of you teachers today shouldn't be able to do the same.

Beware of what you share

An internet hacking group called Anonymous recently named and shamed a man who posted topless pictures of a 15-year old girl online and bullied her into committing suicide.
The girl, Amanda Todd, hanged herself on October 10. Just weeks prior to her death she had posted a video on youtube in which she described the pain she has had to go through thanks to relentless cyber bullying.

It all started when she met a stranger online who asked her to show him her breasts on a webcam. Inexplicably, she went through with the request, only to learn that the stranger had uploaded the image on a Facebook page in which her friends were added. She was bullied mercilessly by her peers, to the point that she was forced to move to a new city and change schools.

But more trouble was to come.

She then began a relationship with an older man, unaware that he had a girlfriend. The man's jealous girlfriend tracked her down and beat her up, plunging her into such a state that she went home and drank bleach in an attempt to commit suicide.
She was rushed to hospital to flush out the bleach but she continued in her attempt to end her life, despite counselling and antidepressants. On October 10, she was found hanged.

A sad story indeed. But upon reading it, I couldn't help but shake my head in disbelief. While I am glad that the scumbag who started all this was caught and while I hope that all the bullies who brought so much misery into Amanda's short, tragic life will get what they deserve, if Amanda was around today and I had the chance to have a talk with her, the first question I would ask is 'WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING!!!???' Seriously, did she expect anything good to come out of flashing her naughty bits to a complete stranger on the internet? It doesn't take a genius to know that such acts can lead to a world of pain and damaged reputations. Perhaps teenage exuberance and naivete' may have played a part but really, and no offense intended, Amanda should have known better.

It makes me sad whenever I read news stories of people (most of whom are young girls) being bullied and tormented all because of a mistake they made on the internet, which are mostly of the over-sharing type. No one deserves to be treated that way, but some victims really have no one to blame but themselves. Yes, cyber bullying can be the result of other people's doing (eg. people taking a lot of flak thanks to false rumours being spread about them online) but in other cases, they are the result of the victim's carelessness. It goes without saying that you should be careful of what you share online, especially to people you have never met before. They are not always what - or who - they appear to be.

Anonymous identified a 32-year old man from British Columbia, Canada as the offender, and as it turns out his username has appeared in other websites in which he blackmails and preys on young girls. Unfortunately, attempts to speak to him have been futile, especially since the address that Anonymous gave to the police was the wrong one. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, however, states that they are aware of the information posted online.

This tragic story should serve as a cautionary tale for internet users everywhere, particularly those who are young and impressionable. Be very careful about what you share and beware of creeps online. Do not post anything on there that you wouldn't want your parents to see.
As for Amanda Todd, may you Rest In Peace, Kiddo. Your suffering is over now. Condolences go out to your friends and family.

You crossed the line, mate.

I couldn't care less about politics and I will admit I am no big fan of Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard.
Not only did she lie and backstab her way into her position, but upon getting there she broke promises, brought the Australian Labor Party down, proved to be extremely unpopular as PM, came across as a try-hard and made the general public cringe with her excruciating, monotonous speech patterns.

Ok, you get the picture. I'm not a particularly big fan of her and I find her annoying and embarrassing. But that said, she didn't deserve the cruel comments directed towards her by radio broadcaster Alan Jones, who stated that Gillard's father, John, had died earlier this month from 'shame' thanks to the lies his daughter told.

His comments sparked controversy and there were calls for him to be sacked. Advertisers and sponsors of his station also threatened to walk away. He tried to apologise for his insensitive remarks but his efforts were deemed insincere and self-serving. He also offered to call Ms. Gillard to offer a direct apology but his request was denied.

Talk about a low blow. Gillard is not perfect by any means but this was completely unwarranted. It's one thing to express disdain for a person, but to bring their family into it, especially one that had recently passed away? Yeah, well played Alan. Way to add another shameful feather in your cap.

This isn't the first time Jones has put his foot into his sizeable mouth. First of all, he has criticised Gillard in the past, even ranting that she and Greens leader Bob Brown should be dumped into a bag and thrown out far into the ocean.
Among other things he has also been accused of defamation, made racist comments at an Australian Aborigine who was named Australian of the Year in 1993, the whole 'Cash for Comment' debacle, was charged with contempt of court on a few occasions and played a role in sparking the infamous 2005 Cronulla Race Riots.
Clearly the man has made an idiot of himself on several occasions. He's only human and no one is perfect but clearly he just doesn't learn and his latest comments about Gillard prove that.
I guess he can rest easy, though. Many people have called on him to be sacked for years but here he is, all 71 years old of him, still on the air.

I sincerely hope you learn your lesson this time and start thinking before you speak, Mr. Jones. I understand that you don't hold Ms. Gillard in the highest regard, I should know seeing as how I feel the same way, but the recent comments you made about her are unacceptable and deplorable to say the least. You crossed the line, mate. And if you're sitting there crying and wondering why she won't return your call, all I can say is that you got what you deserved. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you be willing to talk to someone who insulted you by talking smack about your deceased loved ones? I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!

Spare me your 'wisdom'

Madonna advising older women to wear age-appropriate clothing. Tiger Woods imploring all married men to be good to their wives. Kim Kardashian urging school children to study hard. You already know what to make of such advice from such people - they are meaningless and downright ridiculous.
Well, you can add to that list Australian mining billionaire Gina Rinehart. During the week she addressed so-called 'jealous people' who speak ill of the rich, advising them to stop drinking, smoking and socialising and work harder instead.
Rinehart was criticised for her comments, with Australian Treasurer Wayne Swan branding the comments an insult to Australian workers and families and Federal Health Minister Tanya Pilbersek suggesting that Rinehart should try surviving on the minimum wage (which Rinehart thinks should be lowered).

I think I speak for all honest working men and women when I say Gina, please spare us your 'wisdom'. Seriously, who are you to dictate how hard people should work when you didn't have to lift a finger to gain all of your riches. All you had to do was be Lang Hancock's daughter and heiress. Not all of us are lucky enough to have rich parents from whom we could inherit a fortune. Not all of us can make a million dollars or more sitting on our backsides twiddling our thumbs (which reminds me, Gina, and no offence, but you seriously need to address the size of yours).

And more importantly, while you do have a point that some people would be better off financially if they stopped spending so much money on booze, drugs, gambling, material goods they don't need and can't afford etc, there are people out there who work hard to provide for their families but are still struggling nonetheless. It's unfortunate but such people do exist - perhaps if you took a walk away from your mansion and out the gates of whatever snobby suburb you live the good life in you'd see and hopefully return home enlightened.  

More importantly, Gina, has it ever occurred to you that when us 'jealous' working people speak ill of your kid we are not doing so out of envy, but rather, out of contempt and derision? Not to sound cruel, but whenever people of your wealth gripe about how hard life's been treating them, we can't help but shake our heads in disbelief, if not laugh out loud. Just as you claim that  we're not working hard enough therefore have no right to complain about life, we argue that every complaint you and your kind make is an affront to people around the country and around the world that are doing it tough just to make ends meet. As far as we're concerned, you've got enough money to feed several small contries so you should have absolutely nothing to bellyache about.
Speaking of which, Gina, did you read that little corker about Employment Minister Bill Shorten moaning about how hard his life is despite the fact that he makes $330,000 a year? Wow, cue the melancholic violin music and someone lend the poor guy 50 dollars, he needs money for a sandwich! What a load of tripe!

So in closing, Gina, you can call working people a bunch of jealous whingers all you want but unless you experience how it feels to worry about paying the bills and supporting your family, I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless you want your name and reputation dragged further through the mud. Just because you're the richest woman in Australia it doesn't give you the right to tell people how to live their lives. Sure, there are people out there who need to stop slacking off but that doesn't apply to all people who are struggling. They're working very hard to put food on the table for their families, something that you're probably not so familiar with.
And please realise that no one is jealous of you. Far from it. Believe it or not, not everyone aspires to have as much money as you do. What would be the point? Sure, you can buy and own more things than the average person can but will all that money really bring you complete happiness and don't you ever become paranoid once in a while that someone might stab you in the back and take it all away?

Oh, and one more thing, and again no offence intended. We may be working hard for our money but at least most of us are on good terms with our families. All the money in the world and you can't even have that.

See? I, an average guy, can be judgemental and insensitive too!

Now, can you spare me a couple of bucks so I can get a train ticket to work in order to earn a wage to pay my next bill?

Another ridiculous case of coddling children

A few blogs ago, I ranted about a school in Victoria and their preposterous rule that prevents students from touching each other. Whether it's a hand shake, high five, friendly hug or inadvertently brushing against a fellow student, physical contact of any kind between students was prohibited.
Well, just when I thought school rules couldn't get any siller, a newspaper article today proved me wrong. A school in Sydney (I'll be nice and keep their identity a secret) has banned its students from doing cartwheels and handstands on the playground unless - get this - they are under direct supervision from a trained gymnastics teacher.
According to the school's website, they consulted with the Education Department and agreed that the ban would prevent playground injuries. Predictably, parents were up in arms over the ban, claiming it is extreme and stops children from having fun during recess and lunchtimes. A parent from the school in focus began a petition demanding for the rule to be overturned and said that she accumulated more than 250 signatures.

These parents have every right to be outraged. Seriously, this is another case of people coddling children too much. At the risk of sounding like an old man, I remember back in my day kids did cartwheels and handstands when handball, the hopscotch, the jump rope, sports and other outside activities became boring (or if they wanted to show off) and not once did I hear reports of a kid seriously hurting themselves. Sure, there may have been a few instances when a kid lost their balance and fell over but the worse that they got out of it was a scrape or a bruise and they usually fell to the ground laughing or blushing out of sheer humiliation while their friends ripped them to shreds for their futile attempt at trying out for the circus. I certainly didn't hear teachers calling for these activities to be banned. They may have told children attempting them to be careful but that's about it.
 
But hey, perhaps something has happened in other schools and the possibility of suffering a bad injury is always there but you know, it doesn't take a trained gymnastics teacher to know when a kid is biting off more than they can chew in terms of performing stunts to impress their friends. Teachers patrol the playground during recess and lunchtime for a reason - to make sure that kids are behaving themselves and are not doing anything dangerous. Again, back in my day, if a teacher saw children fighting or attempting a stunt that could be unsafe, they would march over to the kids and put them in their place - or in terms of the latter, warn them to be careful and then watch over them, ready to intervene if things got out of hand. We certainly didn't need someone like Lauren Mitchell to watch over us.

An interesting point in the article is the inclusion of NSW Primary Principals Association president Jim Cooper's statement that if children had an accident at their school, they would hold the school responsible. Well, isn't that something!? Perhaps schools are putting this rule up not just for the safety of the kids, but primarily to cover their backsides in the event that something bad were to happen? Yeah, I know what you all are going to say - 'Well DUH, Bernd!!!! It's pretty obvious!!!' Yeah yeah, spare me your gloating I reached the same conclusion.  

School principals, please do not insult your students' intelligence with silly rules like this. Kids do push the boundaries at times but for the most part, and unless they were raised by irresponsible parents who couldn't be bothered teaching them the difference between right and wrong, they are well aware of what they can and cannot do. Sure, kids do get into accidents now and then and walk away with bruises, scuffs, cuts and scrapes for their troubles, but that's just a part of being a kid. It's all part of the learning experience that we all go through growing up.

Let kids be kids, people. No need to coddle them too much. 

Geez Louise, There's Nothing To Worry About!!!!!

Arnold Schwarzenegger, currently trying to revive his acting career, revealed in a recent interview that his parents were not very supportive about his training and bodybuilding when he was young.
His father once told him that it was a useless pursuit since he was putting his body through hell purely for vanity reasons and that he was better off using his body for more useful purposes such as chopping wood and shovelling coal.
His mother on the other hand feared that her son had become a homosexual in his teens since he had posters of bodybuilders on his bedroom wall when in fact, he just admired these men and aspired to be like them, if not better.
Well, Arnie would go on to become a decorated bodybuilder, a successful actor and a politician. Quite an achievement. Well done, man!

Anyway, the reason why I brought this up is because to some degree, I can relate to him. No, my parents never questioned my sexuality but there have been times when they were concerned about my training. I will admit, I am a gym junkie and I work out for one and a half hours, five to six days a week - and I push myself pretty hard and believe in the saying 'no pain, no gain'. I'm not as pumped as Schwarzenegger (and I never will be) but modesty aside, I am pretty muscular and don't have much fat on me.
Not bad, huh? But there have been times when I copped it from my parents. Nothing too serious, just a few times where my mother would tell me that I'm getting 'too skinny' and that I need more meat on my bones and my father telling me that I must be anorexic since I don't eat quite like I used to when I was younger.

I don't normally take it too personally but I will admit there are times when I roll my eyes at such remarks. I understand now why they were concerned about the number of hours I played video games when I was a kid but getting worried about me keeping fit? Considering that I've never injured or seriously hurt myself while training hard and that my fitness and strength has allowed me to help them out with some strenuous house and yard work it does boggle my mind a little listening to them telling me to slow down.

But you know, I understand where they're coming from. It's natural for parents to be concerned for their children and well, I do push myself hard while training. I do believe in the saying 'no pain, no gain' and if I wake up one morning without some form of muscle pain, I get mildly disappointed (yeah, I'm a masochist aren't I?). But sometimes I just want to tell them 'Geez Louise, there's nothing to worry about!!!!' Knock on wood, but unless I seriously injure myself during a session or suddenly stop eating period, I don't think anyone should be worried - especially since it's my body.

When idiots show off

You hear many stories of people needlessly injuring themselves or somtimes even killing themselves just because they were trying some new and extremely stupid way to amuse themselves and their friends. Well, you can add Darwin man Alex Bowden to that list.

While entertaining some friends visiting from Queensland at a house party, Mr. Bonehead (oops, I meant Bowden) decided to set off a few firecrackers. Sounds fine, but then he took it a step further and decided to place one on his butt crack. His friend lit the fuse.
Naturally, the outcome was catastrophic for poor Alex. The firecracker burned his buttocks and several fingers on his right hand as he tried to put the darn thing out. He is now in hospital being treated for his humiliating wounds and probably his wrecked ego.
To add insult to injury his friends and his mother thought the whole thing was funny.

With alcohol-fuelled violence in Sydney frequently making news headlines (aside from the London Games, The Dark Knight Massacre and Julia Gillard's latest blunder) it's very easy to forget about the instances of alcohol-fuelled stupidity that still goes on around the country. Bowden himself stated from his hospital bed that he and his friends had a few beers, decided to set off some firecrackers and then he, in his own words, 'put one in my arse'. Did he seriously expect to come out of that stunt unscathed? It goes without saying that shoving explosives up your backside is not a wise thing to do and that the repercussions are disastrous AND embarrassing. Trying to purchase a porno magazine at a local newsagent and then presenting your order to a female cashier is nothing compared to the level of humiliation that such stupid acts like this yields.

To be fair to Mr. Bowden, if trying to entertain his friends and leave them on the floor paralysed with laughter was his goal, well then mission accomplished even if it meant that his friends were laughing AT him rather than laughing WITH him. Which reminds me, someone should tell this guy to re-evaluate the types of people that he considers 'friends'. Friends don't let friends shove explosives up their butt, whether they're drunk or not. What's next? They're going to ask Mr. Bowden to test his tolerance for pain by jumping into an empty swimming pool full of thumb tacks naked, just as Weird Al Yankovic sang in one of his songs? Yech!!!!   

Some people out there would go to great lengths to entertain their friends and well, you have to admire them for that. It's great that they've got that desire to please the people that they love most. But resorting to silly stunts that are potentially harmful and/or deadly is not the way to go. The goal is to have people laughing with you, not at you, and definitely not to have them panicking over your damaged form. Besides, that is one good way to permanently trash your personal image and ego.

It's just not worth it.

Sour Grapes

Ye Shiwen.

Better remember the name, people, because if this 16-year old swimmer's recent Gold medal-winning performance in the women's 400m individual medley during the London Olympics last Saturday night are anything to go by, her name will be popping up in many more Olympic games to come, barring any sudden retirements, loss of form, injuries etc.

She apparently swam a section of her race faster than US swimming stars Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps (he of the eye-popping eight gold medal haul in the 2008 Beijing Olympics and legendary diet plan). Not only did she break defending champion Stephanie Rice's world record, but she did so more than a second quicker than Rice's previous best.
During the freestyle leg of the race she clocked in at 25.75 seconds - putting Michael Phelps' own freestyle time during his own individual medley race to shame.
Lochte was clearly impressed with the teenager, stating that she had what it took to beat him in a race. Lochte's mentor, US swimming team coach Gregg Troy hailed her performance as 'a heck of a swim'.

Clearly, a star in the pool was born last weekend. But when I read an article on the internet about it, the headline and the last few lines made me roll my eyes. The article was titled Swim Starlet Sets Off Chinese Whispers and towards the article's conclusion was the mention of China's drug-tainted past when it came to swimming.
The writer, Steve Larkin, is from the Australian Associated Press. I hate to point fingers but to me, he seems bitter that Rice (who is Australian) was beaten by a youngster in her pet event. Don't take my word for it, the comments generated by the article were a mixture of support for Shiwen (some users lambasted the article, claiming that it reeked of sour grapes, childish accusations and to some degree, racism) and people who are adamant that Shiwen wasn 'on the juice'. Some readers also slammed the Australian media and public in general, calling them narrow-minded sore losers who try to come up with excuses to justify our athletes' losses and show total disrespect towards winners from other nations.

Me personally, I say congratulations to Ye Shiwen on an impressive, gold medal-worthy performance, even if it came at the expense of my fellow Aussie in Stephanie Rice, and unless something comes out, I am not going to sit here and accuse her of being 'roided up'. Why throw such heinous accusations without any proof to back it up? To his credit, Larkin also mentioned that in the 2010 Asian Games, Shiwen blitzed the same event some two seconds faster than Rice managed in last Saturday's swim so he does recognise the fact that she really is talented, rather than some roid head who can't perform without her precious drugs. Still, the headline of his article and adding in that ugly factoid about Chinese swimmers doesn't let him off the hook that easily.

Yes, it does suck to see your compatriot lose during the Olympics but it's still the early stages, people. There are still plenty of opportunities for your respective nations to strike gold. Even Rice herself vowed to put this loss behind her and move on. Let's do the same, and in the meantime take our hats off to a deserved winner.

Get out there and play - it's that simple!

According to a study by the University of Sydney, up to 70 percent of children from New South Wales are unable to run, throw, catch or kick a ball properly, skills that should have become routine by the time a child has turned seven years old, regardless of their athletic prowess.
Naturally, these shocking facts painted a bleak picture for Australia's future sports stars and indicates that more and more children are going to most likely grow up overweight or obese. Dr. Louise Hardy, who led the report, blamed this on the lack of PE teachers in primary schools and the growing number of parents who can't be bothered kicking a ball around with their kids.

Being a fitness-oriented person, I found this story shocking to say the least. When I was young, just about every kid knew how to throw, catch and kick a ball, whether they were athletes or not. Even the kid who was picked last for team sports mastered those skills. I was quite chubby and unfit when I was young and I had no problem performing skills, though the results were often unimpressive.

I have to disagree, however, with Dr. Hardy's view that the lack of PE teachers in primary schools are one of the key reasons for this development. When I was a kid, and all due respect to my teachers (I wouldn't say I enjoyed school, but I will admit that all but one of my teachers during my primary school years were excellent at what they did), but I wouldn't say that any of them even came close to being a PE teacher. But that said, they had no problems teaching us how to master those basic skills needed to play sports and be active. It doesn't take a 'PE teacher' to show kids how to play ball. If their parents won't teach them then you, teacher, should do it. It's not that hard.

Scientists and health experts have banged on repeatedly about how ancient humans would have beaten us 'modern' people in any physical endeavour based on the differences in levels of activity between the two, and now the same has to be said about children from this generation and from those of generations past. An average kid from ten or twenty years ago would most likely beat an average kid from today in most sports simply because they've learned the basic motor skills needed to run, throw, catch and kick properly. Time to get out and play, kids. Put down whatever it is that is keeping you on the couch and preventing you from becoming the very best you can be physically, pick up a ball, invite some of your friends and family and have a lovely game outside. Who knows? You just might grow up to become Australia's next sporting hero, inspiring other kids to get active.

F is for 'Fail' - and 'Fake'

On March 23 this year, I posted a blog about the impending return of reality TV series Big Brother on Australian TV screens (which will happen some time after the Olympics) and in the blog I also wrote briefly about a then-upcoming reality show called The Shire which, apparently, was supposed to be Australia's answer to the US series Jersey Shore. I wrote that it was likely going to be a train-wreck featuring a bunch of try-hards, idiots and fake personalities, would make viewers question their sanity, would make a laughing stock out of the Sutherland Shire area and would attract critics from all angles.
Interestingly, when comparing Big Brother and The Shire I recommended that viewers go with the latter, simply because Big Brother is always guaranteed to be a virtual repeat (if not a worse version) of the previous season whereas The Shire was something new.

Well, The Shire is currently on the airwaves and just as good ol' Bernd predicted, it was an absolute train-wreck, triggering the kind of wide-ranging backlash that hasn't been seen since Julia Gillard unleashed the Carbon Tax and Kraft released the isnack2.0 (later renamed Cheesybite). I didn't watch it myself but based on what I read in news reports and friends' posts on facebook thank God that I was smart enough not to, all due respect to anyone who did. I read people called the show 'crap', 'rubbish', 'drivel', 'piece of shit' and of course, the oft-used 'The Shite'.
Meanwhile, media outlets and news reports wrote about the show in a mainly negative light. They commented that the show made a mockery of its setting and criticised the cast for their fake, shallow personalities, for portraying negative stereotypes and even some of the girls for their fake body parts. The show's creators were shamed and facebook groups have been set up petitioning for the show's cancellation.

The Sutherland Shire's mayor Carol Provan was especially harsh in her criticism of the show, particularly towards the female characters whom she branded as 'tarts' and even took a shot at the Sydney suburb that two of the show's more notorious cast members originally came from. Speaking of which, as it turns out at least seven of the show's main characters (including over-tanned, surgically-enhanced bimbos Vernessa and Sophie, the show's two most notorious characters) don't even live or work in the Shire area. However, channel 10's programming boss David Mott stated that as long as cast members were willing to 'live, work and play in The Shire' (ie: be a part of the show), then they were ok.
But which ever way you look at it, the show was deemed a massive fail for the Ten network and appalled many, particularly angry and embarrassed locals whose community are still trying to shake off the negative image cast by the 2005 Cronulla Race Riots.

Sophie and Vernessa

Ok, I hate to sound like an insensitive jerk, I can only imagine how many viewers are hurting right now for losing 30 precious minutes that they'll never recover, but to the viewers who are complaining about having their life, time and energy wasted, what the hell did you expect? When TV shows try to imitate another they usually fail (the US version of The Office turned out to be a success so I guess there are exceptions to the rule) and a show that tries to imitate one already known for trashiness and controversy is all but guaranteed to be a prize stinker. You should have known that before you flicked onto channel 10 at 8pm on Monday night.
Yes, it's ok to vent about how bad the show was and how angry you were for watching - I would have done exactly the same if I did, but in the end it was your own fault for getting fooled into watching it in the first place and not having the guts to switch channels or switch off the TV when the show got worse. Just saying.

As for the people lamenting that Australian TV has come to this, keep your chins up. Judging by the criticism that this show is getting, I'd imagine that it will be axed pretty soon, if not only last for one short season. If Yasmin's show can get axed before she could find her groom I'm sure a bunch of fake, shallow try-hards can be given the heave-ho before the party's over.

Well, that's about it. The people of the Sutherland Shire area have something new to be embarrassed about, a bunch of viewers have been left angry and in utter disbelief and God forbid but if this show was to be broadcast in other parts of the world (good God, I hope that hasn't happened yet!) it would make the good people of Australia look like fools.n Well played, creators and channel 10.

For all that, Bernd gives you an F for Fail - and Fake.

Some people are just too damn sensitive

Okay, people, admit it, there has got to be at least one or two people in your life who gets emotional over the slightest things. Whether it's one (or both) of your parents, your sibling, a friend, a relative or worse, you yourself, there's always that someone who makes a big deal out of silly little trivial things.

You've seen these people in action. When someone accidentally spills a drink on the carpet they go ballistic. When someone is two seconds late for a meeting of some form they blow their lids. When they have to pay an extra five cents for something they go off as though they've lost 90% of their bank account. I could go on all day but you get the picture.

Anyway, for those of you who roll your eyes when these people you know throw a hissy fit over little things (ok, I'm guilty of doing the same. There, I said it), please spare a thought for the 47-year old American man who received a nasty death threat from his cantankerous 72-year old neighbour who threatened to shoot him for.....wait for it......farting. Yes, farting!!!!

Apparently, somewhere in the US the man walked past his neighbour's apartment door and let one rip. The neighbour, who apparently has an intense dislike for anything to do with flatulence confronted the unfortunate soul in the lobby and allegedly told him 'I'm going to put a bullet in your head!' He has since been arrested for making the threat.

Well, what can I say? I understand that breaking wind in the company of others is rude and embarrassing (although let's face it, it's also funny as hell) but is it really something you would threaten someone with bodily harm and/or death with? Seriously, someone should tell this old-timer to chill out! So what if your neighbour had the audacity to release a mixture of gases from his rectum (something that ALL human beings do and is beneficial to one's health) as he walked past your door? It's not like anyone was around to smell it and it's not like he directed it towards your face! But hey, what can you do? This old guy seems like one of those hypersensitive people we discussed earlier. While some people get worked up about schedules, lost items, forgotten tasks and getting things wrong, others like this bloke get worked up about bodily functions that make a funny sound and leave a nasty smell.

I am not advocating for people to break wind whenever and wherever they damn well feel like it. Sure, it's a normal thing but at the end of the day, farting around people and (especially) in closed spaces is seen as offensive and can make a laughing stock out of you. But is it really something for one to get so worked up about that the person who dealt it /supplied it/ fluffed it must be punished with threats of bodily harm or even death? Is the simple act of releasing bodily gas tantamount to stealing something, cheating on a partner or spouse, murdering a family member or any other act that results in death threats directed at the guilty person?

Seriously, some people are just too damn sensitive!

Look but don't touch....or you might get counselled!

Throughout my school years, from primary school to high school, students were made aware of the 'hands off' policy (also known as the 'keep your hands to yourself' policy) quite early. Us students were banned from hitting, shoving and grabbing each other in a violent manner and it was hoped that such a policy would dissuade bullying. For the most part it seemed to work. During my school years I never really heard of many serious fights happening. Sure, I've seen students break the rule and get into a mini shoving match with each other (usually the result of verbal arguments gone wrong) and there were a couple of serious fights that might have erupted from time to time but I can count on one hand the number of times I've heard of such scuffles occurring - unless many more happened but I couldn't be bothered snapping out of my classroom boredom-induced daydream to notice but I digress.

Today, I read a newspaper story that looked at a primary school in victoria that took this policy to the extreme. Here, students are literally banned from ever touching each other. In addition to acts of physical harm, students are banned from totally harmless and friendly gestures such as hugging, playing tag or touch football, back-patting and even giving high fives. Yeah, sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Students who are caught breaking this rule would be treated to 'counselling sessions' (a counselling session that lectures students on the dangers of high-fiving each other? Yeah, sounds intense!) and the school's principal stated that the policy would discourage students from engaging in rough play with each other.

All due respect to the principal, but I am taking sides with the parents and child psychologists who are labelling this rule as unreasonable, over-the-top and just plain ridiculous. Back in my day, we were allowed to high five, play sport, back-slap and even play-fight with each other as long as it didn't get out of hand and anyone guilty of punching or kicking another student (ie: someone who violated the 'hands off' policy) were punished. I didn't hear of any dumb rule that prohibited students from laying a pinky on each other. All due respect but this principal sounds as though they are too lazy to take care of problem students and so they took the easy way out and implemented a silly rule that, in their mind, would be a fail-proof means of putting an end to bullying.

But did it not occur to them that it would be damn near impossible to not accidentally touch another person? Would students be punished if they accidentally brushed against someone else when they were walking? Would they be punished for helping a student up if they tripped over? Would they be punished for putting a calming arm around a friend when they were distressed? Hang on, SOMEONE DID GET PUNISHED FOR THAT ONE!!!! Well played, principal. Way to punish an obvious bad seed that had the audacity to break your precious, oh-so-reasonable rule.

Seriously, I've heard of setting rules and boundaries for school children but this one is out of this world. While I am all for prohibiting students from pummelling each other, putting up a silly rule that is, quite frankly, impossible to obey is not only unreasonable, but it makes the school itself look bad. To the principal of that school, I have refrained myself from naming and shaming you, so I hope you don't put me in detention for writing this blog.

Oops! I accidentally tapped my friend on the shoulder. Oh rats! Here comes the counselling....

Keep It Simple

I have to say, an article I read in the Sunday Telegraph by columnist Mia Freedman had me laughing and shaking my head at the same time. In it, she looks at marriage proposals and how it has become a sideshow and a 'competitive sport' and that simply getting down on one knee and popping the question is no longer enough. These days, you have to go over-the-top and include a choreographed piece of some sort, perhaps hire someone to help out with the proceedings and all the while hope that someone captures it on video and posts it on the internet.

Freedman's article stems from a recent story in which a man proposed to his girlfriend by choreographing a five-minute lip-synching routine that included many of their friends and family dancing in the middle of a street. The gaudy show was captured on camera and posted on the internet. The man, Isaac Lamb, was interviewed on TV recently and 'apologised' to men everywhere for setting the bar so high as far as marriage proposals are concerned.

But, Freedman asks, do women really want these over-the-top marriage proposals or are men just using it as a means to get in touch with their creative side?

She includes in her article a quote from one of her friends whose husband proposed to her in a pretty creative manner. This friend told her that unmarried male friends 'cower' whenever she and her husband recall the moment he popped the question and that such proposals have turned the whole thing into something of a competitive sport - all the while driving men up the wall as to how they can possibly make it one to remember. Freedman notes that men are not so much afraid of asking the question, rather, they are afraid that the moment won't be a magical one for their significant other.
She also noted that since most couples live together before marriage the anticipation of proposals have lost their lustre - therefore, the emphasis is on making the moment of truth as memorable as possible.
She also goes on to write that not all women dream of being swept off their feet in such a sensational manner and would prefer if the men kept it short, sweet and simple. Some women already feel overwhelmed and mortified when men get down on one knee and present them with the ring so can you imagine how some of them would feel when their men organise a big song and dance number that stops an entire community just to ask her a question?

As far as I'm concerned, and no disrespect, but pulling off these over-the-top stunts just to ask your significant other for their hand in marriage is unneccessary. So what if simply getting down on your knee or presenting her with the ring during dinner or taking her to a special spot and all those other tried-and-tested ways seem dull compared to these media-grabbing circus acts? Your mission is to get a 'yes' out of her and as long as that happens then mission accomplished! No need to go all out and put on a big show. To me that just screams 'look at me!!!! I'm proposing to my girl and I want attention for it, darn it!!!'

Not that I would wish this upon anyone, but I can only imagine the kind of pain and humiliation a guy must endure if, after putting up a great show for his girlfriend and asking her to marry him, she turns him down. Let's face it, they won't always say yes. Wouldn't the damage be minimised if you kept it simple and got straight to the point rather than go all the way and do something that would make Lady Gaga and Elton John blush?

Freedman closes her article by outlining some of the best proposal stories she'd ever heard. They were all simple, and one involved a mutual agreement to get married. Freedman notes that these stories happened in the 1990's 'before those bloody viral videos'.

Guys, while going over-the-top to propose to your girlfriend is your decision and is an endearing way of expressing your love for them and your wish to spend the rest of your life with them, please note that you might end up embarrassing her and that you risk making a laughing stock out of yourselves. By all means, do what you think is the best way for you, but in my opinion, keeping it simple is the best way to go. The goal is to get a 'yes' out of her, not to turn the whole thing into the next youtube sensation.

Labels are no joke, people.

Anyone remember that episode of the classic TV show Friends where the gang take a trip to Las Vegas? Well, two of the characters, Ross and Rachel, ended up leaving later than everyone else and found themselves sharing the same flight. They spent most of it playing pranks on each other and trying to get into each others' heads, and at one point, Ross uses a marker to draw and moustache and beard on a sleeping Rachel's face.

Seemed harmless enough but there was one problem - he drew on her using a permanent marker.

Anyway, this gag came to mind when I read a recent story in the newspaper in which a Brazilian Incredible Hulk fan, Enrique dos Santos, painted himself head-to-toe in green paint to pay homage to his comic book hero. Unfortunately, the product he used was a substance used for ballistic missiles and nuclear submarines and is virtually impossible to wash off.
He tried in vain to wash it off in the shower but it did not work. Only when he got a 24-hour scrubbing from as many friends and neighbours that he could find did the green substance come off.

Well, what can I say? Don't people read labels anymore? Seriously, they do serve a purpose, people! If you are going to use a substance on your skin (and on someone else's for that matter) make sure it is safe to do so! It won't kill you to take a couple of seconds to read warning labels prior to using a product or substance, especially if it is one that you are going to apply onto your body. How would you feel if you slathered yourself with some product only to learn the hard way that you were allergic to it? Yeah, the idea of being covered from head to toe in rashes or something worse doesn't sound like a fair trade.

Warning labels on items are no joke, people. You can roll your eyes at them and sometimes you would be right to do so, but in other instances you will pay for it dearly. So come on, guys. Let's be careful out there.

Cheer up, Delta.

It's hard not to feel a little sympathy for Delta Goodrem. Just nine years ago she was the darling of the Australian music scene, a singer-songwriter whose songs were honest and wholesome and whose brave battle against cancer won the hearts of the nation.
But lately her reputation has taken a battering.

As one of the judges on Australia's version of The Voice she's had to endure the criticism from viewers who think she is annoying and a try-hard as well as being snubbed by contestants in favour of more seasoned fellow judges in Keith Urban, Seal and Joel Madden. In one episode, she offered a contestant who happened to be the younger brother of former Australian Idol winner Guy Sebastian (with whom she is good friends with) a spot on her team, but he turned her down to go with Seal. Delta's response was to bolt from her chair and head backstage in tears. Ouch! That's got to hurt!

I'd say the rot began in 2004 when she started dating tennis loser Mark Philippoussis. Heck, she wrote a song about him called 'Out Of The Blue'. That relationship didn't last and later that year she began dating former Westlife singer Brian McFadden - despite the fact that he still hadn't divorced his estranged wife and was known to be a foul-mouthed jerk. Suddenly, this 'good girl' singer wasn't so sweet anymore. Some people went as far as to call her a floozy who took it up with a married man. Still, she remained popular on the airwaves and retained much of her fan base.

Her relationship and subsequent engagement to McFadden didn't last and so she focused all her energy on her career. She tried to crack the US market but wasn't exactly successful in doing so (though her song 'In This Life' managed to get airplay there and her album Delta was a success). She then began a relationship with US pop star Nick Jonas (who is eight years her junior) that ended earlier this year. I'll bet many of her cynics saw that move as nothing more than a publicity stunt. Can't crack the US market? Why not go out with a young American pop star instead?

And now she's come back with her first single since 2008. The song, Sitting on top of the world was a success, debuting at number 2 on the Australian singles chart. Unfortunately, more controversy was to follow. Apparently, the song sounds similar to Rebellion (lies), a 2005 song by Canadian band Arcade Fire. How about that? She releases her first single in four years, it roars up the charts and then this happens. She just can't catch a break these days.

The Voice Australia judges (L-R): Keith Urban, Delta Goodrem, Joel Madden, Seal

All I have to say is cheer up, Delta. You still have many fans, your current single is sitting pretty on the charts and you have some pretty talented contestants on your side on The Voice. Throwing a hissy fit when a contestant rejected your offer wasn't a good move, however. Seriously, calm down! They didn't reject you because they don't like you. Maybe they just preferred to go along with musicians who have more experience on the world stage.

Also, it's refreshing that you stayed true to yourself as far as being a musician is concerned. Your songs continue to be the same heartfelt tunes that they were back in 2003 and you're still one talented singer-songwriter. It's great that you did not feel the need to overly 'sex' up your image and reduce yourself to singing about what you like to get up to in nightclubs and in the bedroom and show everybody what you look like with little to no clothing on. Much respect to you in that regard!
And as for the controversy surrounding your new song, it was an honest mistrake. Like I said in a previous blog, there's only so many tunes you can come up with and sooner or later you might accidentally produce a song that sounds similar to someone else's.
And as for your personal life, well it's not really anyone's business but yours. Just take the criticism on the chin and keep moving forward. To Delta's credit, she seems to be doing exactly that.

Quick takes:

1. So Jessica Simpson and her fiance Eric Johnson had a baby girl that they named 'Maxwell Drew'. Regarding the girl's unusual first name, Jess explained that 'Maxwell' is Eric's middle name. Jess, once again you prove to your critics that you really are an airhead and Eric, way to fuel the stereotype that male athletes are dimwits. Naming a little girl after her father? That just doesn't make sense! Unless, of course, the father had a unisex name like 'Ashley' or 'Taylor'. 

2. Kate and Gerry McCann stated to the British media this week that they have renewed hope their daughter Madeleine, missing for five years now, is still alive and that she will be found. Seriously, whenever I read about this case it makes me sad. No parent should have to go through what they're going through and no child should be taken from their parents like this. Yes, I have a heart, people! But all jokes aside, I really hope that The McCanns are reunited with their little one soon.       
But in saying that, I am still staggered at the irresponsibility that Kate and Gerry showed on the night that their daughter disappeared. Leaving your young children unattended to meet with friends is dumb. Leaving them unattended in an UNLOCKED hotel room is preposterous.
I don't have children myself but I know that once you have children, they are your responsibility and you should always be there for them. Couldn't Kate and Gerry have taken their kids with them? Sure, they probably wouldn't have been able to stay out for too long but when you have kids you're going to have to make sacrifices - including saying goodbye to aspects of your social life. Feel like going out with your friends but can't find someone you trust to babysit your kids? TOO BAD, TOO SAD!!! Stay home and be a parent.
Kate, Gerry, I truly hope and pray that you do get your daughter back and can move on from this horrible chapter in your lives, but seriously, what the hell were you two thinking?

3. Australian swimming legend Grant Hackett has bitterly separated from Candice Alley, his wife of five years. According to friends of the pair, they have been bickering for a while now and their problems may have stemmed from the fact that Hackett has been turning to booze to drown his sorrows whenever he and Candice quarrelled.
Sources state that the problems may have started when the couple moved from the Gold Coast (Hackett's hometown) to Melbourne. For a beach-loving man like Hackett, it was too much.
To make it worse, Candice forced him to sell his beloved Ferrari before the couple's twins were born.

All I'm going to say about this is that I wouldn't be surprised if Hackett manages to climb out of this mess and then attempt a comeback to competitive swimming. It'll be the Geoff Huegill story all over again.    

4. 17-year old Shaun Wilson-Miller, who is dying of a chronic heart condition, makes an emotional video in which he urges viewers to live life to the fullest. In addition to that, he asked his friends to make sure his father will be alright.
Wow. Just, wow. Here you have a kid on the losing end of the toughest fight of his life urging us all not to take our lives for granted and live it to the fullest in addition to saying his good-byes. Inspirational stuff right there.
Shaun, you are a brave warrior and thank you very much for the video. You are a true champion!

'Four eyes' and proud of it!

I read a blog in the newspaper recently in which the author describes her feeling at having to wear glasses. Like many people, and I am sure there are plenty of them, she spent most of her youth sneering at people who needed specs (the elderly aside), believing that they were geeks and weaklings who got picked on in the school yard. She also pointed out that film, literary and comic book heroes did not wear glasses (Harry Potter aside) and the ones that did like Clark Kent Peter Parker used it as a part of their disguise to 'hide their awesomeness' as she put it. She then goes on to describe her anguish at the news that she needed to wear glasses. Suddenly, she became one of these 'four-eyed' people. A geek. A weakling. A nerd. To compound the humiliation, she was forced to eat a huge serving of crow for looking down on bespectacled folks in the first place.
Fortunately, she eventually saw the positive side of things, mainly that her once fuzzy vision has been made clear and that it was possible to be a 'cool person' with glasses on (she cites Tina Fey as an example of a 'speccy superhero'). In the end, she embraced her specs and now cannot live without them.

I have to admit, I can totally relate to this story. I, too, wear glasses but this hasn't always been the case. In fact, my eyesight was pretty decent when I was a kid but too many video game and TV sessions later they deteriorated. Unfortunately for me, I also viewed bespectacled folks with snooty disdain, believing that only uncool people wore glasses and that they made the owner look silly. I also viewed them as a bully magnet for kids.
When I eventually noticed that my vision was getting fuzzier I tried to hide it. I was around 14 or 15 at the time and before I knew it, I suddenly had to squint to try and read what the teacher was writing on the board. If that didn't work I slyly peeked at my seatmate's notes and copy off them. As my vision got worse I started sitting right in front of the classroom. I'm pretty sure most of my classmates were thinking 'look at Bernd sitting out front like a goody-goody!' The truth was, I HAD to sit at the front. But in my state of absolute denial even that wasn't enough to get me to admit to myself that I needed glasses.

My problem soon manifested itself in different humiliating ways. People snickered whenever I couldn't read things from a distance. My family members looked at me suspiciously when I failed to see somethinng clearly on the TV screen. I started having to squint a little while playing video games. I kept sitting at the front of the class even though I didn't want to. It got worse and worse. At one particular day in high school, I was sitting in maths class with my friend and we were copying notes off the board. He caught a glimpse of my page and asked me why I had copied a particular formula wrong. I meekly asked him if I could copy it off his page and thankfully he obliged, no questions asked. But seriously, that was a huge blow to my ego. I obviously had a problem but I was too damn stubborn to admit it.

Finally, shortly before I turned 17 my mother forced me to get my eyes checked. She had began to notice my increasing inability to see things from afar and understandably, she was getting worried. I went to the optometrist, took the exam and my apparently-not-so-secret shame was exposed: I was short-sighted and needed glasses. Right at that moment I heard a voice inside my head shout 'NOOOOOOOO!!!!' I couldn't believe it! I was already a geeky kid to begin with but with these glasses I was stamping that label on my forehead in block letters. When I tried my new glasses on the only thing I saw was a four-eyed nerd begging to be mocked and laughed at for the rest of his life.

But, that was a long time ago. Just like the author of that blog I eventually came to embrace the glasses. Reading things from a distance is no longer a problem, watching TV and reading off the computer is no longer a frustrating experience and I actually think I look ok with them on (although taking pictures can still be a problem since the lens tends to form a glare). Besides, not all frames make the owner look like a total dork. There are trendy frames out there that can make the owner look cool and hip.
I'm sure there are some folks out there who look at me and think 'oh, there goes another four-eyed geek!' but to them I respectfully say, 'four eyes and PROUD OF IT, DUDE!!!!!'