Keep It Simple

I have to say, an article I read in the Sunday Telegraph by columnist Mia Freedman had me laughing and shaking my head at the same time. In it, she looks at marriage proposals and how it has become a sideshow and a 'competitive sport' and that simply getting down on one knee and popping the question is no longer enough. These days, you have to go over-the-top and include a choreographed piece of some sort, perhaps hire someone to help out with the proceedings and all the while hope that someone captures it on video and posts it on the internet.

Freedman's article stems from a recent story in which a man proposed to his girlfriend by choreographing a five-minute lip-synching routine that included many of their friends and family dancing in the middle of a street. The gaudy show was captured on camera and posted on the internet. The man, Isaac Lamb, was interviewed on TV recently and 'apologised' to men everywhere for setting the bar so high as far as marriage proposals are concerned.

But, Freedman asks, do women really want these over-the-top marriage proposals or are men just using it as a means to get in touch with their creative side?

She includes in her article a quote from one of her friends whose husband proposed to her in a pretty creative manner. This friend told her that unmarried male friends 'cower' whenever she and her husband recall the moment he popped the question and that such proposals have turned the whole thing into something of a competitive sport - all the while driving men up the wall as to how they can possibly make it one to remember. Freedman notes that men are not so much afraid of asking the question, rather, they are afraid that the moment won't be a magical one for their significant other.
She also noted that since most couples live together before marriage the anticipation of proposals have lost their lustre - therefore, the emphasis is on making the moment of truth as memorable as possible.
She also goes on to write that not all women dream of being swept off their feet in such a sensational manner and would prefer if the men kept it short, sweet and simple. Some women already feel overwhelmed and mortified when men get down on one knee and present them with the ring so can you imagine how some of them would feel when their men organise a big song and dance number that stops an entire community just to ask her a question?

As far as I'm concerned, and no disrespect, but pulling off these over-the-top stunts just to ask your significant other for their hand in marriage is unneccessary. So what if simply getting down on your knee or presenting her with the ring during dinner or taking her to a special spot and all those other tried-and-tested ways seem dull compared to these media-grabbing circus acts? Your mission is to get a 'yes' out of her and as long as that happens then mission accomplished! No need to go all out and put on a big show. To me that just screams 'look at me!!!! I'm proposing to my girl and I want attention for it, darn it!!!'

Not that I would wish this upon anyone, but I can only imagine the kind of pain and humiliation a guy must endure if, after putting up a great show for his girlfriend and asking her to marry him, she turns him down. Let's face it, they won't always say yes. Wouldn't the damage be minimised if you kept it simple and got straight to the point rather than go all the way and do something that would make Lady Gaga and Elton John blush?

Freedman closes her article by outlining some of the best proposal stories she'd ever heard. They were all simple, and one involved a mutual agreement to get married. Freedman notes that these stories happened in the 1990's 'before those bloody viral videos'.

Guys, while going over-the-top to propose to your girlfriend is your decision and is an endearing way of expressing your love for them and your wish to spend the rest of your life with them, please note that you might end up embarrassing her and that you risk making a laughing stock out of yourselves. By all means, do what you think is the best way for you, but in my opinion, keeping it simple is the best way to go. The goal is to get a 'yes' out of her, not to turn the whole thing into the next youtube sensation.