He who puts down the razor gets the power

Street Fighter's Zangief

As a kid, I was a massive fan of the Street Fighter video game series. The character I used often changed depending on my mood but as a kid who dreamed that he would one day change his pudgy body into an athletic, muscular one in adulthood, the character of Zangief always impressed me. Mind you, I didn't use him very often - his special moves were complicated to pull-off, he was slow as molasses and he didn't have any projectile-based attacks - but his appearance was incredible. He was tall, had a physique that would make Schwarzenegger nervous and his mean face was covered with a full beard and topped with a mohawk haircut. He pretty much resembled a taller, angrier, whiter version of Mr. T, minus the gold chains.

In short, the dude looked like a total badass. The type who could reduce you to a quivering mess just by glowering at you.

But I wonder.....would his tough-guy appearance be seriously hampered if he didn't have the beard? Sure, he'd still have the tricky but deadly wrestling moves, the tank-like physique, the mohawk, the attitude and all, but would a clean-shaven face make all that seem hollow?
And what about other bearded hard men past and present like Mr. T, Kimbo Slice, Ned Kelly, Russell Crowe, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Bill Goldberg? Would their masculinity be diminished if they had a more clean-shaven appearance?

Anyway, according to a scientific study conducted by the University of New South Wales' Ecology Research Centre, beards are a man's way of displaying his age, dominance, power, aggression and masculinity over his peers, even though studies have shown that women, while they recognise the beard's purpose of highlighting a man's masculinity, prefer facial stubble over a full beard.
In short, men use beards to impress and perhaps threaten other men rather than to attract women.

'I pity the fool who picks up his razor, I DO!!!'

Well, I certainly can believe that. How else do you explain the sudden emergence of beards in most male celebrities? Ben Affleck, George Clooney, Hugh Jackman, Brad Pitt, Shia LaBeouf and Ryan Reynolds are just a few who have recently sported beards, and fictional characters such as Rubeus Hagrid from the Harry Potter series, Gandalf the wizard in Lord Of The Rings have full beards to signify their gigantic size and their age and wisdom, respectively.
Heck, 'stereotypes' that signify masculinity and aggression such as biker gang members, circus strongmen, lumberjacks and wrestlers often have full beards to enhance their strength, power and aggression and this is reflected in their often gruff personalities.

And let's not forget that 'Movember' was created in order for men to grow their beards and encourage them to raise awareness of prostate cancer and other male-related illnesses. It doesn't get much manlier than that.

So bottom line is, the more hair on your face you have, the more masculine and intimidating you will appear to both men and women. Sure, your missus will probably pester you non-stop to grab a razor and get rid of that monstrosity, but she will also grudgingly admit that it makes you look tougher, stronger and more aggressive than you really are - but that it makes you look like a hobo.

Harry Potter's Rubeus Hagrid

As for me, I won't be growing a beard any time soon. First of all, the idea of having a big bush on my face sounds pretty itchy and high maintenance (I don't quite fancy the idea of having food and drink stuck on my facial hair).
Secondly, I have been told by my nearest and dearest that even with facial stubble, I look like a criminal. I'm pretty sure that with a beard I'd look like an assassin - or a pirate. Either way, I'd look like someone on the wrong side of the law. Sure, it would be nice to have that element of danger and mystery about me, but Bernd, for all his grumpiness, is a good guy!
And finally, when I am clean-shaven I've been told that I look remarkably young for my age - and that shallow reason alone is enough to keep it clean as a whistle!

Deserved result

 

Early last year, Australian swimmer James Magnussen (nicknamed 'The Missile' by the Aussie press) told the Australian media to 'brace themselves', as he would go into the London Olympics later that year and wreak havoc in the pool.

Once the Olympics went underway, the Australian Men's Freestyle Relay team, consisting of Magnussen, James Roberts, Eamon Sullivan and Matt Targett were red-hot favourites to win the event (even against a strong US team that had Michael Phelps in its team). So heavily favoured were the Aussie boys to win that they christened themselves the 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' shortly before the race.

Well, as we now know, Magnussen may as well have warned the Australian media to brace themselves for a lamentable effort from him and the relay team may as well have named themselves the 'Weapons of Self Destruction'.
Magnussen failed to capture a single gold medal on his own and went home with a silver and bronze, which isn't bad but given the way he talked himself up prior to the games, it was a disappointing result.
As for the relay team, they came in fourth behind France, the USA and Russia. Way to be the heavy favourites going in, eh?
In other words, Magnussen and his boys went home branded as overhyped, egotistical losers and to add insult to injury, rumours of misbehaviour on their part began to surface after the games were over.

As it turns out, the rumours were true. Some time last week, Magnussen, Sullivan, Roberts, Targett, Cameron McEvoy and Tommaso D'Orsogna held a media conference to apologise for engaging in inappropriate behaviour at a training camp shortly before last year's Olympics. Boozing, partying, playing pranks on and harassing female swimmers, bullying younger swimmers and taking the controversial sedative Stilnox during 'bonding sessions'.

Roberts claimed not to have taken Stilnox but he admitted to partaking in the other antics that his teammates got up to. Sullivan, in particular should have known better, seeing as how he was a senior member of the swimming team and should have showed more leadership and responsibility.

And considering the effort they put up once the Olympics went underway, I think it's fair to say that they were still doing some goofing around on the side instead of warming up and getting into 'fighting' mode.

To make matters worse, the team's head coach Leigh Nugent did next to nothing about the situation and some female swimmers have come forward and said that the boys may not have been entirely truthful in their confession.

This is not to say that the boys were the only ones who misbehaved. 100m backstroke silver medallist Emily Seebohm blamed long sessions on facebook and twitter for her lack of focus and there were reports of coaches failing to discipline and control their athletes.

In short, the swimming team that represented Australia last year was in complete disarray and the weak results on the medal tally reflected it.

 

You know, when I watched the Men's freestyle relay team go down I was disappointed. Not just in the result, but mainly because I knew that the guys had allowed their egos to get the better of them. All throughout 2012 I had to read yet another ego-driven statement from Magnussen and when I read that the relay team gave themselves a nickname, I thought to myself 'I hope you boys realise that you've just placed ENORMOUS pressure on yourselves. You had better back up the trash-talk or forever be known as hypejobs'.
As for Magnussen, once I heard that he had gone home with just a silver medal and failed to qualify for one of his pet events, I have to admit that a part of my was snickering. All that talk and he couldn't back it up? Way to go, big man. A silver medal is a great result but the way that Jimbo Mag was talking, ONLY a gold would have been acceptable.

Needless to say that my disappointment in these guys were compounded when the allegations of bad behaviour on their part was exposed as truth. Talk about an embarrassment for themselves and for the country. Here they are, about to compete for the event that they have spent their whole sporting lives preparing for and use it as an opportunity to act like idiots. No, I don't buy the few who dismiss their antics as just 'boys will be boys' and 'kids being kids'. They are PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES about to represent THEIR COUNTRY in the freakin' Olympics! Thus, they are expected to conduct themselves professionally and that means staying focused and giving it their all.

But you know, they don't deserve all the blame. What the hell were the coaches doing throughout all this!? Enjoying the sights and sounds of London? Why wasn't there someone to lay down the law and get these crazy kids back in line?
Seriously, you guys failed your athletes and so the whole debacle rests partly, if not entirely on your shoulders. Shame on all of you!

The next Olympics is three years away, and I hope that by then, athletes AND coaches had cleaned up their acts. For most members of the swimming team, this is a chance to redeem themselves since most of them are still young enough to make amends.
As for the members of the team who might be too old or may have perhaps retired by the time the next Olympics happens, what can I say? It's a damn shame that you had to end your Olympic careers on a low.
As for the coaches, you guys had better get your act together unless you want to be crucified by the media yet again for bringing in a team of losers into the biggest show on earth.
When a team that lacks unity and leadership, there's only one guaranteed outcome - disaster. Looking back now, the poor results yielded from the pool was well deserved.

Time to get serious, guys.

The importance of watching your mouth

Last week, Australian boxer Anthony Mundine was defeated by his countryman (and reigning IBF middleweight boxing champ) Daniel Geale. Sure, losing a fight is bad, but to make matters worse for Mundine, he had failed miserably to back up the non-stop trash-talk he had heaped onto Geale in the months leading up to the fight.
From the moment the match-up was announced, Mundine was every bit the ill-mannered, tactless motormouth. He called Geale a limited fighter among other things, and then had the nerve to take a shot at the champion's family and Aboriginal heritage. Journalists and internet boxing forums had a field day roasting Mundine for his disgusting comments and all the while, he proclaimed that he would not only take Geale's title away from him, but that he would beat him worse than he did during their first fight, which took place four years ago and saw Mundine win a controversial decision.

Anthony Mundine (L) samples Daniel Geale's right hand

Anyway, Mundine's antics and subsequent failure came to mind when I watched an episode of My Kitchen Rules on TV last night. The show focuses on teams of two representing the Australian states competing against each other to transform their humble homes into instant restaurants, complete with menus, themes, decorations etc for one night. Two judges, both professional chefs, will oversee the proceedings.
From the moment this show began, best friends and New South Wales representatives Jessie and Biswa stirred controversy with their harsh judgment on their fellow contestants' offerings, frequently complaining that there was an element (or three) in the dishes that they don't like. Let's just say that I've lost track as to which foods they can and (supposedly) can't have.
If that wasn't enough, they talked a big game, boasting that they had what it took to get top marks and that they'd show the others how this competition should be played and that everyone will be in for a big surprise.

Needless to say, their moment to shine was eagerly anticipated. Problem was, the opposite happened.

Firstly, they greeted their guests at their home with the promise of 'no more boring dishes'. And just like that, any chance of them gaining any semblance of respect from their competitors and even the judges just went flying out the window.

Then came a series of disasters and silly mistakes in the kitchen that led to them being absurdly late in serving the entree and then the main course. The biggest shock there is that none of the guests left. I know I would have.

In between catastrophes and watching fellow contestants and the judges sample their dishes, the girls criticised themselves and each other and then started crying on each others' shoulders - although they did jump up and down for joy during the fleeting moments that something went right in the kitchen. I watched all this and thought, 'forget about whining, groaning and yahoo-ing, GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!!'

Finally, they served dessert on time - unfortunately it tasted so bad that at least 3 contestants nearly vomitted and even the judges had a hard time keeping it down.

In the end, Jessie and Biswa's boasting that they would get a perfect score went down in flames and instead they ended up with the lowest score in the competition to date.

You can call it bad luck or karma, but to me, I'd say it was them crumbling to the extremely high expectation that they inadvertently set for themselves thanks to the non-stop yapping they did leading up to their turn. It's one thing to merely state that they didn't like another competitor's food - it's another to constantly whinge and make a big deal about it as though they were served poison and then let the cat out of the bag by making stupid statements like 'NO MORE BORING DISHES!!!!!' If there is one key benefit to staying humble, it's that win or lose, you'll still have your fellow peers' respect.

Jessie (L) and Biswa

Sure, confidence is a good thing. If you don't back yourself you won't go as far as you believe you can. But there is a BIG difference between confidence and arrogance and people like Anthony Mundine and Jessie and Biswa need to realise that. Constantly putting others down just to talk yourself up is not confidence, it is arrogant and downright disgusting and immature behaviour, especially if you resort to malicious personal attacks the way Mundine did before he fought Daniel Geale.
If hating on someone just to give yourself an advantage in a competition is what works for you, then by all means go for it. But keep your dignity intact and watch your mouth. Some things are best left unsaid. That way, if you win, people will still be willing to give you the respect you deserve.

Remember, the more you brag and put people down in your pursuit of victory, the higher people's expectations of you will be - and if you fail to meet these expectations even by the slimmest of margins, you will hear about it loud and clear for a very, very long time.   

Downright irresponsible

Measles - it is a highly contagious, irritating and potentially fatal disease of the respiratory system. According to the World Health Organisation, it is 'one of the leading causes of death among young children, even though a safe and cost-effective vaccine is available.

But writer Stephanie Messenger isn't buying it.

An anti-vaccination campaigner, she is the author of an absolutely ridiculous childrens' book called Melanie's Marvellous Measles, which promotes the supposed 'health benefits' associated with contracting the disease.
At one point in the story, one of the characters, Tina, is reassured by her mother that the disease is beneficial for children, as it makes the body stronger and 'more mature' for the future. Sickeningly, Tina's mother then recommends that they go and visit Melanie so that she, too can catch the disease and that if it gets too annoying, carrot juice and melons will help.

Naturally, the Australian Medical Association (AMA) is totally against this book and doctors have called for it to be pulled off the shelves. Dr. Steve Hambleton, president of the AMA called Messenger and anyone else who approves of this tripe a bunch of 'crazies' who ought to hang their heads down in shame. He goes on to explain that Measles is fatal to children as a result of the encephalitis (swelling of the brain) and pneumonia associated with the disease.
Dr. Hambleton concedes that there can be some minor side-effects to the measles vaccine, but that it is still far better to get the vaccine than to forgo it and is still a mandatory part of a child's health.

While I am 100% against Ms. Messenger's story and think that she is an irresponsible nutcase for having the audacity to print such nonsence (that is also aimed at children to boot), I did feel compelled to do a bit of web-based research just to find out what could have possibly driven her to write this story and become such a staunch anti-vaccine campaigner. Unlike some campaigners such as movie star Jim Carrey, she seems to be against ALL vaccines whereas people like Mr. Carrey still see the importance of vaccinations against rubella, measles, mumps, whooping cough and other fatal diseases.
So I typed her name up on google and sure enough, there was a link commenting on different anti-vaccination posts she made on different forums across the internet, as well as the contents of a book that she co-authored called Vaccination Roulette (link is right here http://www.dilutedthinking.com/hln_story.php). Her crusade began when one of her children died due to a medical condition and she placed the blame on vaccination. She has since claimed that her unvaccinated children are 'alive and well' whereas her vaccinated child is not.

Unfortunately, according to the link, Ms. Messenger only arrived at this conclusion thanks to reading about the 'adverse' effects of the 'triple antigen vaccine' and watching an episode of The Phil Donaghue show back in the day in which Dr. Robert Mendelsohn (an American doctor who, strangely, criticised everything about his chosen field) appeared as a guest to speak out against vaccination.
Not only that, but she writes in her Vaccination Roulette book that her child was suspected of having a condition called Alexander Disease, which, apparently, is a genetic disease that was possibly passed to him by his father's genes. That guy, by the way, is Ms. Messenger's ex. Her other children are not from him. I guess that explains why they haven't inherited that condition.

Ms. Messenger definitely has the right to her own opinion and I guess good on her for sticking to her guns, but I wonder if she realises that a vast majority of the country believes she is crazy and that her book is the height of irresponsibility. It has medically been proven that measles is a highly-infectious and potentially deadly disease, particularly to children, yet her response to this is to come up with a childrens' book praising the supposed 'benefits' of the disease. Sorry, Ms. Messenger, but the people who labelled you 'crazy' seem to have the upper hand here.

Ok, blog's over, I'll sit back and wait for someone to come up with a book on the benefits of eating rat poison now.

Songs that drove me crazy this year.

I've made it no secret that most of the new songs that come out these days annoy the heck out of me, and this year was no different. I understand that different people have different tastes in music and therefore, what sounds irritating to some sounds beautiful to others.

But, as I've done in the past two years, I will now list the songs that I found quite irksome this year. I apologise if I've offended anyone's taste in music but please know that it is not intentional.

1. 'Live while we're young' by One Direction

You know, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the main reasons why Justin Bieber's been getting into a bit of trouble lately is because he's secretly distraught that he has lost some of his creepy fans to the 1D boys.
Anyway, sorry to digress, back to the original topic. I've not heard of these guys until this year, but apparently they've been around since late last year and the song of theirs that I am most familiar with ('What makes you beautiful') also came out last year. Anyway, I found that song to be quite cheesy and annoying and this song 'Live while we're young' is no different. Call it a clash in musical tastes but this didn't do it for me.
And the lyrics 'I know we only met but let's pretend it's love'? OUCH!!!!!!

2. 'Gangnam Style' by Psy

I didn't hate this song. Not saying that I like it but it didn't make me want to kill myself while listening to it, either. If anything I thought it was pretty catchy even if I couldn't understand half of what Psy was saying so I guess you could say that it drove me crazy in a more positive way.
And watching different parodies of the song on youtube was simply hilarious.
Just don't ask me to do the dance. I have two left feet and would struggle to do even this one.

3. 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' by Taylor Swift

Two blogs ago, I commented that Taylor Swift's 'I write songs about guys I broke up with' schtick was getting tiresome. This song pretty much convinced me of that.
Aside from the song's rather childish title, to me it lacked that 'straight-from-the-heart' feel that her previous songs had and came across as an immature rant by a stuck-up girl who thinks that all guys are lame.
And Taylor, like I said before, songs like this do more to convince listeners that perhaps you are the reason for your failed relationships rather than the guy you were seeing.

4. 'Star Ships' by Nicki Minaj

I know that this song came out last year but I didn't hear it until the beginning of this year so I will count it in my list of annoying songs for 2012.
I don't even know where to begin. The first time I heard this song on the radio, it wasn't even 1 minute old before I started to feel a shooting pain in my forehead and my eardrums start to bleed. Too loud, too garish and Minaj's delivery is absolutely ANNOYING!!!! Seriously, what's with the different voices and the weird accents? If I wanted to listen to a multi-voiced rapper I'd personally convince Robin Williams to put out a rap record. At least it would be funny rather than irritating.

Well, there you have it. Another year, more songs that made me want to smash the radio (well, at least 3 of them did).
I wonder what 2013 will bring?

Diapers are for BABIES, NOT ADULTS!!!!!!

In the two (mostly) magical years that Bernd has been churning out blogs, he has ran into some pretty weird stories that made news. From madcap celebrity antics, everyday folks committing acts that can only be described as looney tunes, sharing some stories that (hopefully) inspire, your's truly always had something weird and wonderful comment on.

The entry for this blog is no different.

According to a TV documentary that is set to screen in the UK, there are adults that are literally acting like babies, complete with wearing diapers attending fake nurseries accompanied by their spouses acting as their 'parents'. The reason? Because apparently behaving like a child takes the person back to their carefree and stress-free childhood years.

Honestly, I don't know what to say. Sure, there are times when I get so stressed and flustered that I wish that I was a kid again (to all you children out there wishing that you were 'grown up', believe me when I say that being an adult totally sucks and that you should enjoy your childhood years while you still can) but whenever that happens, I watch old TV shows that I used to enjoy, listen to songs that were popular during my younger years, read a comic book, look at the old photo albums - in other words, do things that remind me of those carefree, innocent years just to clear my head. I don't go around trying to squeeze into the clothes I used to wear as a kid, let alone behave AND dress up like a baby. I hate to sound hypercritical but that to me is the type of behaviour that warrants several sessions with a psychiatrist.

And you want to know what the sad part of this story is? Why are these peoples' spouses going through with this game? Pretending to be their other half's 'parents'!? Geez! I thought that part of being married to someone meant that you would look out for each other and make sure that your partner is well. Again, apologies for sounding cruel and judgmental, and no disrespect intended, but anyone who engages in this type of behaviour cannot possibly be all that well.

But, who knows? Maybe it's just another one of those silly 'fads' that are just coming out. Stupid, dangerous acts such as 'planking' and car-surfing became fads at some stage, why not turn disturbing behaviour into a fad? After this one, maybe we can get someone to turn behaving like a wild animal of your choice into a fad?

Seriously people, I understand that the real world can be cruel and that sometimes you just need an escape, but acting in a disturbing and weird manner is not the best way to deal with it. Read a book, watch TV, go for a walk or a run, go on a holiday....THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO COMBAT STRESS!!!!! It's no use trying to deal with it in a manner that could potentially land you behind bars - or in a padded room locked up in a strait-jacket.

 

Mate, are you serious!?

According to recent news, health workers in northern New South Wales have recently been slapped with a ban on referring to patients as 'mate', along with other terms of endearment such as 'honey', 'sweetheart' and 'darling'.

Apparently, this was a response to complaints from a few patients which prompted a request from staff to maintain a more 'professional' relationship with patients.

Ok, I will admit it now, but Big Bad Bernd gets nervous whenever he has to visit a doctor or a hospital, even when he is not a patient. I don't know why - I guess I just have trust issues seeing as how doctors are only human and therefore are capable of making mistakes and let's face it, being told that there is something wrong with you or that you'll need to be knocked out and then sliced and diced so that they can rectify whatever it is that is causing you grief is not exactly fun. Therefore, whenever I go to the doctor it would make me feel more at ease if they called me 'mate' or 'buddy' just to show that they mean well and that everything will be ok. It's a lot more comfortable than being given an ice-cold stare and a monotonous voice outlining what is wrong with you and what they are going to do to you to correct the problem. You might as well be sitting in a courtroom before a judge and told that you will be locked up for a long time or worse.

Ok, I understand that there are some people who don't take too kindly to such terms. They may find them immature or downright condescending. Therefore, don't use the term on them right away. Get to know the person first and establish some sort of rapport before you try to befriend them. That way, you'll know whether or not they want the 'friendly' doctor or the 'ice-cold' doctor.

So, to those out there who sent that memo, Bernd understands perfectly where you are coming from, but he thinks it is a little too extreme to ban all health workers from trying to be friendlier and approachable towards their patients. I'm sure that not all patients are against it, heck I'm sure that most of them quite like it. So rather than impose a ban why not just encourage them to choose their audience carefully. That seems a lot less tyrannical.

In other words, 'take it easy, mate!'

Quick take:

When Taylor Swift burst into the public eye some three years ago, I had nothing but high praise for her. It would've been an overstatement to call me a fan, but I thought she was cool. I mean, she writes songs that come from the heart, has a decent voice, loves her fans and projected a wholesome, down-to-earth image.

Unfortunately, that was then and this is now.

I don't know about you, but her whole 'I date boys, break up with them and then write songs about them' shtick is not only getting old, but it is getting quite irritating. It has gone to the point that I am starting to wonder if maybe the problem in her relationships is her and not the poor guy who is being shamed in her increasingly-annoying 'he-was-this-and-that-and-so-it-couldn't-last' songs.

Anyway, she was in the news recently over allegations that her relationship with UK boy band One Direction's Harry Styles is tearing him and his bandmates apart.
It all began when Styles ditched his bandmates to fly from New York to London on Swift's private jet. The rest of his band had to fly separately, were then mobbed by fans upon arrival at Heathrow airport (during which one of them was injured as a result of the chaos) while he and Swift arrived unnoticed and got away unharmed.
Since then, a rift has formed between Styles and his bandmates and fans are now branding Swift the new 'Yoko Ono'.

Well, what quite a turnaround for poor Taylor, isn't it? Three years ago she was the darling of the pop music genre (I'm sorry, but she never struck me as a 'country artist', she always seemed more 'pop' to me) and now, she starting to ruffle feathers. Oh boy, could she soon be headed towards the same, dreaded 'everyone's darling today, everyone's figure of hate' place in which Delta Goodrem now unhappily resides?

I guess we'll find out soon enough. Taylor, you have been warned.