If it aint broke, don't fix it

On the 4th of September, the TV program 'Sunday Night' featured an adventure writer and one of the show's cameramen and their encounter with Brazil's Suruwaha Tribe. Considered one of the most elusive people on earth, the tribe have lived the same way as they had for thousands of years and still retain ancient rituals like human sacrifice. According to the show, only a few scientists and government officials have been granted access to the tribe and that 'Sunday Night' would be the first and only show on TV that would have access to them.
Naturally, I was intrigued about the documentary but also somewhat concerned. The cynic in me thought that it would be nothing more than an exploitation of a tribe of people who are best off left alone. Well, I decided to put my pessimism aside and watched it.

I wish I didn't. Why? Because my suspicions were confirmed. What I saw were two ignoramuses who zealously tried to make celebrities out of these people and suggest that it would be a good idea to somehow civilise them. They also had the audacity to insinuate that the tribe were savages and that their practices and rituals were unnatural and constantly referred to them as 'Indians' (You're not in India, guys. You're in the Amazon. Call them Natives if you want but how about dropping the nickname that only came to be thanks to a historical faux pas). Talk about a total lack of respect. And to top it off, I fear that what these two guys did is expose this peaceful tribe to the rest of the world and when that happens, it usually leads to people invading their land, destroying the tribe and its culture and trying to assimilate them into a society they are unfamiliar with where they are likely to fall prey to poverty, crime, unemployment and all the other traps in society.

First of all, you can call these people's practices and culture savage and unnatural all you want but that's because you are looking at it from your own perspective. For the Suruwaha Tribe, it is all normal and a part of their life. I'm pretty sure they would look at us 'civilised folks' dressed in fancy clothes, eating with silver utensils, getting around in vehicles, suffering from diseases etc and think that it is us who are living unnaturally. These two had no right to barge in on this tribe's space and criticise their way of life. Surely you wouldn't let someone into your home and tell you to your face that your lifestyle sucks.
Secondly, if you look at history, from the Australian Aborigines to the Native Americans you'll see that invading native land and trying to change the people and force them into a world they are unfamiliar with is dangerous work. You remember what happened? These people fell prey to diseases introduced by the settlers, had their homes taken away, their culture was destroyed, they turned to crime out of desparation etc. In the present time, they are still more likely than most to be unemployed, jailed or living a shorter life expectancy. Clearly intervention and civilisation didn't benefit them 100%. Do we really want the same thing happening to the Suruwaha Tribe?

I guess if there's one phrase that sums up my thoughts on this matter, it is 'if it aint broke, don't fix it.' The Suruwaha Tribe is perfectly fine leading their current life, their culture is what it is and they should be left alone. No one should be trying to intervene in these people's lives just because they think some aspects of it is disgusting. If people have a problem with it, who really cares? It's not your life, people, nor is it your culture and you really have no business telling people what's wrong with their way of life and try to change them.

One person's idiocy, everyone loses.

September 11 this year will mark 10 years since the terrorist attacks in New York City. It was one of those events that sent shockwaves around the world and I think everybody still pretty much remembers what they were doing when they heard about it. Me? I was getting ready for school. Upon arriving at school everyone was talking about some crazy thing that went down in the 'States'. During the next few weeks the attacks dominated every news outlet, Osama Bin Laden was identified as the mastermind of the attacks, the world grieved with the US and most notably, hatred and fear of Muslims ran riot.

I read the newspaper this morning and in a section devoted to 'Ten Years On' since the attacks, a small article was included in which an Australian family of Palestinian Muslim heritage express their sadness over the hatred Bin Laden caused. The father, Neil El-Kadomi laments how people give them dirty looks in the streets, how people question their religion and how some media outlets add fuel to the fire by continuing to incite fear and hatred of Muslims. El-Kadomi stressed how he and his family, and average Australian Muslims are proud to be Australian and proud to practice their faith and that they condemn the acts of extremists.

Don't you just hate how when one person from any given community or minority screws up or crosses the line, everyone instantly hates on the rest of their people? Not only is this unfair to the innocent parties of that community, it is also an act of pure ignorance. No one should be made to suffer from another person's idiocy. I get angry whenever I see stories on current affairs shows that talk about some 'Muslim Uprising' and how 'Western' culture is in serious danger thanks to Muslims. Ok, so maybe there are some extremists out there who take their religion too far but that shouldn't be an excuse to hate on the entire religion and its worshippers, especially since Muslims in general do not condone such acts and view it as going against their faith which preach the power of peace.

It isn't just Muslims that's getting a bad rap. Migrants and people of ethnic backgrounds also take the heat whenever one of their own commits a crime and also when they are VICTIMS of a crime, accident or tragedy. For example, you look at the news and read about how an Asian or African person committed a crime, you immediately hear the masses calling for these people to be banned or sent back to their countries, normally with the use of racist epithets. Just recently we saw in the news how a young African girl was mauled to death in her Melbourne, Australia home by a neighbour's American Pitbull Terrier. While the girl's family received an outpouring of sympathy from the country, a few shitheads out there (I try not to use profanities in my blogs but in this case I felt it was appropriate) used it as an opportunity to racially attack the victim, praise the vicious dog as a 'True Aussie Hero' and tell other people of the same heritage that the same fate awaited them if they didn't leave the country.

This repugnance has got to stop. Just because someone who represents a community or a minority screws up it is no reason to hate on the other innocent people within that community or minority. It is an unfair and ignorant practice and has no place in an accepting society. Criticise the culprits, not their people.

Taking things too literally

I recently read a newspaper article by Australian journalist Jane Watkins that made me laugh and cringe at the same time. In it, she writes about the revelation that the late, great Tupac Shakur's fellow Outlawz rappers rolled up his cremated remains and smoked them. Why? Because apparently in his song Black Jesus he included the lyrics 'Last wishes, n***as smoke my ashes'. According to Outlawz member E.D.I Mean the group THOUGHT (that's right, emphasis on the word 'thought') he was serious about it and so they were simply honouring his request.

Watkins then goes on to note that these guys are a bunch of idiots who did something that one would only expect in children - they heard something, took it literally then did as they heard without giving it a second thought. In this case, they 'twisted up some of that great-granddaddy California kush and mixed the big homie with it' according to Outlawz member Young Noble. While I commend Mr. Noble for his eloquent description of rolling up weed and ashes I think perhaps he and his friends should have thought about it first. While it's possible that Tupac was serious about the strange request they weren't sure whether or not he was and so it's possible that they desecrated his remains for nothing. Watkins refers to the recent death of Ol' Dirty Bastard and notes that it is highly unlikely fellow Wu-Tang Clan member Method Man made a request to not have the late rapper's body washed prior to his public vieweing because his nickname wasn't Ol' Tidy Bastard and that the hip hop industry needs to get it into their heads that people, including some of their own, still take their often-controversial lyrics literally.

And so we move onto the real issue here, which is people's tendency to take things that they see and hear too literally. Like I just said, song lyrics are infamous for this, as we have seen time and time again people getting into trouble thanks to the things they hear on the radio. 'Gangsta' rap and death metal often get the heat from this, since their lyrics often glamorise a lifestyle of hedonism, crime, excess, murder, sex crimes, drugs, substance abuse etc. I'll admit now that I am guilty as charged for enjoying these extreme musical genres but I am also smart and mature enough to realise that such music is for entertainment purposes only and not meant to be taken seriously. How people still have a tendency to take the lyrical content of these songs to heart and get into trouble as a result is just mind-boggling. You'd assume that they've already learned long ago the difference between right and wrong. But with some people, this is clearly not the case.

'Gangsta' rappers usually stress in interviews that their songs are all about stories from their often troubled past, their experiences and how it made them the people they are and as something of a warning to their listeners and people in general of what can happen if you choose to follow such a path. Death metal artists often talk about how their genre calls for dark, horror themes and that listeners should not take their lyrics too seriously other than just to unwind. A sane person would listen to these types of music and be wise enough to know that the things they hear are not meant to be taken seriously. It is strictly enterainment, nothing more nothing less.

It is the same with video games and TV. Sure, we all at one stage have watched a violent film, seen stunts performed or played gory video games but again, they are for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken literally or imitated. Sure, we've heard about action film and violent video game addicts who went on to commit mass murder and acts of terrorism, but all these people were described as sociopaths, psychopaths, unstable and insane. Likewise, we've seen people die needless deaths or suffer serious injuries due to attempting stunts they saw on TV that clearly came with a 'don't try this at home' tag attached to them. These people usually had the words 'idiot', 'moron' and 'stupid' tied to their names. Unless you fall under these categories you really have no excuse for taking these things too literally.

Here in Australia, the TV series 'Underbelly' came under fire for supposedly glamorising the seedy street life and criminal lifestyle. Apparently people started to emulate what they saw on TV and decided that such lifestyles looked 'fun'. What a joke. Anyone with a grain of sense would see that the bad guys in this film often pay for their crimes with their lives in brutal, horrible fashion and that those who survived are left scarred for life or rotting in a jail cell. Also, this show was intended to tell the story of some of Australia's most notorious criminals and show the consequences of their actions. It is not a show that you watch and model your life on. It comes with multiple warnings and an MA15+ rating for a reason.

Really, I can only think of two things that can curb such behaviour; positive influences from your parents and maturity kicking in. My parents drilled into my head when I was a child that sometimes you see and hear bad things on the radio and on TV, but that you need to be smart enough to know the difference between right and wrong as well as know that you shouldn't take everything you see and hear too literally. Most songs you hear on the radio and some antics you see on TV involve dumb and/or dangerous things that only an idiot would attempt and while it seems unimaginable that people would do them, you'd be surprised at how many people still take the bait. It's understandable if a child has such tendencies, it is part of their nature to be curious about the world around them and for that you need to keep them on the straight path. But when adults make that kind of mistake it becomes both worrying and embarrassing.

Pitbull Terriers: To ban or not to ban?

Sometime last week in Victoria, a young girl was mauled to death by her neighbour's American Pitbull Terrier. As predicted, the debate as to whether or not to ban the popular but dangerous dog breed resurfaced, with many people agreeing that it is time to take action. However, there are still people who disagree, claiming that it is the owner's fault for not training the dog more diligently and for leaving it unguarded. For these people, American Pitbull Terriers are generally loyal and friendly to their owners.

First of all, my condolences go out to the family of this little girl. Losing a child is hard enough. I can't imagine how traumatising it would be to watch them die in such a horrible, gruesome manner. As for this debate, I really don't know what to say. While I totally understand why there are calls to ban the breed, I think it would encourage illegal smuggling and trade of these dogs. That's usually what happens when you ban things nowadays right? But at the same time, these dogs are bred to hunt and fight. Not exactly the ideal traits of a family pet. While they may be useful in guarding people's properties it's in their nature to attack. So if we were to look at it in this light, the dog was just simply carrying out what nature intended it to do. I remember a line from that film 'Jurrasic Park', in which Dr. Grant (Sam Neill) shakes his head in disbelief at the sight of a goat standing in the T-Rex's cage, waiting to be eaten. He mutters to himself that it is in the T-Rex's nature to hunt down prey and so placing a goat there for it to eat will be an act of suppressing the creature's natural urge.

But at the same time, pitbulls remain a popular breed and the United Kennel Club describe them as a loyal, friendly breed, generally non-aggressive towards strangers and that any aggressive behaviour is highly uncharactersitic. However, due to their excess energy, athleticism and background as fighting dogs they require lots of exercise and proper training and socialisation at an early age. Add it all up and it becomes quite clear that only strong, experienced dog owners should own them.

In light of what I've just written here I guess I'd side with the folks who believe that banning pitbull terriers is not the solution. However, I think there needs to be some sort of screening process for potential owners of this breed, if there isn't one already. Prospective owners should have proven experience with a wide range dogs as well as the right type of personality to handle this breed. They should also be willing to make the right kind of arrangements on their properties to accomodate the dog. People are made to undergo tests and examinations before they buy guns, surely they can do the same for people who are looking to own a dangerous dog breed.

OWWW MY EARS!!!!!!

When I first watched the music video for Rebecca Black's song 'Friday' I honestly didn't wait around to hear the whole thing. Why? Because it was so bad that after about 40 seconds I just gave up and switched it off. I mean, the song had an annoying tune, the clip was pretty cheesy and Black's voice was without a shadow of a doubt the worse I've heard in a long time. She sounded like a dying cat and the only thing I could say at the time was 'Sheesh! I hope that's not her real voice!' Clearly I wasn't alone. She recieved death threats over the song, the song itself inspired parodies and imitations and she became a walking punch-line. As a result the clip was deleted off youtube.

She has since came back with a new song, 'My Moment'. I only listened to the first few seconds of the song and while I'm pretty sure autotune was used, her voice sounds much, much better. But as bad as 'Friday' was, I recently heard another song that had me running for the hills after a mere 10 seconds of listening to it. This song made 'Friday' sound like an unforgettable classic and the singer herself has celebrity credentials more meaningless than the Kardashian sisters and a notoriety that would make Charlie Sheen blush. She is an aspiring country singer and recently made news for all the wrong reasons, although to be fair she can't take all the credit for it. I am talking about Courtney Alexis Stodden.

We're all familiar with her by now. She's the 16-year old singer who, earlier this year, married 51-year old actor Doug Hutchison, best known for his roles in films like 'The Green Mile' and 'I am Sam', as well as TV roles in 'Lost' and '24'. Yes, you read that right. This teenage, barely legal girl, who is younger than Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, who was not even born yet when Bill Clinton became US President, who was forbidden by law to drink at her own wedding, married a man who is four years OLDER than her father, who is older than Barrack Obama, and who was already alive when John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Really twisted stuff isn't it? Look, I'm open-minded enough to realise that, in another era, such acts weren't uncommon. But that was then, this is now, people and in this modern era, what these two did is not only considered disgusting and unlawful, but also downright criminal. Yes, the idea of older men marrying much, much younger women is not unheard of, but in those cases, both bride and groom were full-grown adults, not adult and child.

Ok, enough of that, let's get back on track here. This blog is all about Stodden (or should that be Mrs. Hutchison? *shudders*) and her oh-so-awful song that made me want to rip out my eyes and use them as earplugs. The song I heard, 'Don't Put It On Me' is available on youtube as a 'promotional clip' and the full song can be downloaded from iTunes. Most of you are probably wondering, 'Geez, Bernd. What the hell were you doing looking it up?' My answer: When I first heard that this little tart married some geriatric sicko and read that she was an aspiring singer, I was curious to hear how she sounded. I well and truly regret that decision. What I saw was a video clip involving some girl who looks older than her age suggests trying her hardest to imitate Paris Hilton and as for the song itself, it involved lame beats and bubblegum-pop music accompanied by a sing-songy rap voice that was so grating I was screaming 'UNCLE!!!!!!' after just a few seconds. Seriously, how the hell is this supposed to be a country song? Isn't country songs supposed to involve gentle guitars and soft beats accompanied by a laidback, friendly voice (male singers) or sweet, mellow ones (female singers)? Clearly, this song had none of that. If anything Stodden sounds like Ke$ha's younger, brattier, far more insufferable evil sister. No disrespect to Ke$ha intended.

So to Rebecca Black, Ke$ha, Rihanna, Justin Bieber and all the other singers I've heckled in my lifetime, I sincerely apologise to you all. Turns out there's someone out there with a voice worse than all of yours and a personal life and a reputation that would make even the most messed-up celeb shake their heads in disbelief. And Courtney, if you think being a singer is your true calling in life, well then all the best to you. Hope you fulfil that goal and maybe someday you might blossom into a real artist. But please realise that you and Doug are probably going to be hearing it loud and clear from haters and critics for the rest of your married lives, no matter how hard you both try to convey the image of a perfectly normal married couple and that there is a good chance you've both shot your reputations to pieces.

Weird, weird news

According to recent news a man was recently sentenced to three years in prison for fooling women into looking after him by pretending to be autistic.
The man, 21-year old Mark Richardson, behaved like a child, drank formula, sucked on a pacifier and threw tantrums as part of his act. Somehow, he managed to trick two women into 'babysitting' him, with duties including changing his diapers. Naturally, he was eventually arrested and charged with seven misdemeanour counts of outraging public decency and felony sexual battery, all of which he pleaded guilty to. He had apparently grabbed the breast of one sitter's daughter and in addition to his jail sentence the judge ordered him to register as a sex offender and pay $195 to one of his sitters, who was not paid in full for the so-called sessions.
During his trial, the judge told Richardson that he understood he had issues but that it is a poor excuse for his crime. Richardson for his part told the judge he regretted his actions and intended to get his life back on track.

I really don't know what to say about this. When I first read the article, the first thing that sprang to mind is that this guy's taken the whole single-and-desparate thing way too far. I mean, coming on strong to a woman armed with cheesy pick-up lines is one thing, but to show up to their front doors pretending to be some big kid who needs a carer? That's some seriously creepy behaviour right there. I'm no Barney Stinson, but I know that pulling off silly stunts like this is not going to get a girl to like you. Seriously, what happened to just simply approaching her, get a good conversation going and then asking her if she'd like to go out with you? Keep it simple, people! Realise that creepy and/or absurd behaviour doesn't do anything for your chances with her or for your personal image.

But, all that aside, I also thought that maybe he's just another tortured soul who just wanted attention. Sure, he went about it the wrong way but we all know how desparate some people can get when they crave attention. Whether they are 16-year old 'singers' who marry 51-year old sickos, teenagers who lie about being raped or morons who throw house parties that disrupt the peace and gain national attention, some people would do just about anything to get people to acknowledge them. Sadly for Mark Richardson, the only thing he got out of it is a criminal record and public vilification. What a way to go out, huh?

I guess we can all learn a little something from this piece of weird news, and that is no matter how much you want something or someone, JUST ACT NORMAL. By pulling off idiot stunts like this, not only will you be unsuccessful, but you risk damaging your reputation forever. Not a fair trade is it?

Sex, Lies and Idiocy

During this week, we've had the privilege (*cough! cough!* misfortune) of watching two separate sex scandals unfold before our eyes. One involved a teenage girl, starved for attention, recanting serious allegations she made about a well-known sports agent, allegations that left him disgraced and all but cost him his job. The other involved a US congressman who fell victim to his ego and his libido, causing seemingly irrevocable damage to his personal image and rendering him the butt of many jokes. Clearly, these two need help. And good ol' Bernd is here to show them the way - but not before reprimanding them for their actions first!

Our first case involves one Kim Duthie, a 17-year old schoolgirl who in February 2011 claimed to have been involved in a drug and alcohol-fuelled affair with Ricky Nixon, a married sports agent for St Kilda AFL player and captain Nick Riewoldt. She had video evidence to prove it and had also talked to the AFL Players' Association (AFLPA) about the matter. The AFLPA bought her story and in March 2011, Nixon's player manager's licence was revoked.

During this past week, Duthie suddenly resurfaced and claimed that she made up the whole thing. There was no affair with Nixon, she apparently was doped when she spoke with the AFLPA and that the video of Nixon in her hotel room just in his underwear was taken after he stumbled in blind drunk and/or high, having being victimised by drink-spiking.
Nixon threatened to take action against the AFLPA and at least two media outlets and denied that he pressured Duthie into revealing her lie.
But it gets worse. While appearing as a guest on the Ten Network's The 7pm Project, Duthie, believing that her interview was over, claimed on camera that her latest revelations were a lie. She went on Twitter straight afterwards and said she was just joking, but it was too late. Once again, she made fools of us all - and did her already-tarnished image no favours.

Tsk, tsk. What a mess we have here eh? It all began with another sex scandal that made headlines, disappeared for a while, and then suddenly comes right back at us because one key player in the matter claims that it was all a hoax, and then suddenly, said key player claims to have lied about lying. And you thought that this crap only happened on TV! But seriously, I wonder how it must feel like to be Kim Duthie right now. I mean, we all know how Nixon must feel. His reputation has been flushed down the toilet, his career is all but over and I'm pretty sure his family would be having a hard time coping with it. As for Duthie, geez. Talk about forever damaging your personal image even before you reached adulthood! Just to let you know, dear readers, she was involved in another sex scandal in late 2010 when she published nude photos of several St Kilda football players (including Nixon's golden boy Nick Riewoldt) and claimed that she fell pregnant, then miscarried, with a St Kilda player. Yeah, sounds like a really bad soap opera. Hell, they just might turn this one into a really bad telemovie or musical one day!

The only solution I can give to Ms. Duthie is this: Move on and stay out of trouble. It'll be a long time before she can get the dreaded 'S'-word-that-rhymes-with-'cut' off her forehead, not to mention the 'liar' tag, so really she cannot afford to put a foot wrong. So Kim, for your own good, just be a good girl now and stop looking for trouble - because you now know first hand that not only will you be hurting other people, you're hurting yourself. And no, posing for Zoo Weekly once you're of age to so will not do you any favours, nor will trying to use this as an opportunity to get an acting job. Also, STOP LYING!!!!!! It's really that simple. Ever heard of 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'? Well, it's true what Aesop preached with this fable - liars aren't believed, even when they're telling the truth.

Let's go to our second nutcase of the week, one Anthony David Wiener, US Democratic Congressman, MARRIED MAN and Twitter idiot. Sometime late last month, Wiener sent a photo through Twitter to one of his followers, a 21-year old female college student, depicting his erect penis bulging in his grey boxers. He quickly removed the image from his account, but it was too late. The image was leaked to a conservative blogger, who proceeded to post the picture onto his website (these things do have a weird way of getting out, don't they?). Naturally, the media started to ask questions but the best Wiener could do was complain that someone must have hacked into his account and stolen the pic. Hell, he even went as far as to suggest he was being set up, that the picture was not him, that it was doctored etc.

Finally, in June 6 2011, Wiener admitted that he had indeed sexted the woman in question, that he had been having online affairs with several others on Twitter, Facebook, e-mail and over the phone and that he was ashamed of himself for what he did. He also mentioned that his wife was supporting him through this tough time. It was also revealed that prior to his marriage in 2010, he was something of a ladies' man, dating some of New York's finest women. And then he married a long-time aide to Hilary Clinton. Funny how things work out.

Naturally, Wiener became a walking punchline. It's bad enough that he was caught with his pants down (pun fully intended), but his surname just added fuel to the fire. Stand-up comedians and late-night talk show hosts mocked him and media outlets crucified him. To add insult to injury, the House Ethics Committee threatened to investigate his sins and fellow congressmen, Democratic and Republican, called for his sacking. Fortunately, according to public opinion, many believed that while he may have behaved like a first-class moron, it shouldn't be a reason for him to step down.

First things first, Mr. Wiener (snicker!). Have you thought of getting your name changed? Ok, just kidding! Well the good news is that the general public don't feel he needs to step down so that could be a sign that there are people out there who are willing to forgive and forget. As for his fellow congressmen and the House Ethics Committee, I guess only time will tell whether or not their protests will affect his position. In the meantime, I suggest that Mr. Wiener lay off the social networking (obviously) and find a way to not just mend his image, but also patch things up with his family. Obviously, a scandal like this would not only humiliate him, but his family as well. Heck, I could just imagine his wife giving him a slap across the face after his press conference the same way Julianna Marguiles' character in 'The Good Wife' did to her cheating husband. And as for his personal image, I guess Wiener should just get on with his life and his job, give the public the impression that he has moved on from this sleazy chapter in his life while debate over his resignation rages on (I'm assuming it still is), but he should prepare for the unexpected.

Well, there you have it folks. Just one week and two separate, yet somehow similar scandals. Sex, lies and idiocy. You couldn't make it up! To Kim Duthie and Anthony Wiener, I wish you both the very best. Just please remember to keep your behaviour in check - because you both are now branded.