Switcheroo

When I was a kid, I was a fan of the Archie comics series. Sure, some of the stories were corny but there were enough laughs to keep me entertained when I wasn't sitting in front of the TV killing braincells or sitting in front of the computer killing even more braincells and my eyesight. It was quite fun reading about Archie's life as an all-American teenage kid, trying to decide which girl he ultimately wants to be with, hanging out with his mates, trying to one-up his mates on occassion and going through all the trials and tribulations teenagers go through. Yeah, he and his friends were loads of fun in between gaming sessions.
I haven't read the comics in a long time but according to a recent news article, Archie will accidentally be turned into a girl named Archina in a future story. I didn't know what shocked me more, the fact that this all-American teenage boy was turned into an all-American teenage girl or that the writers gave him/her a dumb name like 'Archina' (Archela, Athena, Anthea, Alana, Alina.....there ARE some better names out there!). Apparently, Sabrina the teenage witch will make an appearance here and, well, maybe she's the brains behind this little mix-up.

It also got me thinking about what the Archie comics series would be like if the entire cast changed sexes. I can just see it now:

-Reggie becomes Regina, an egotistical Kim Kardashian-esque popular girl who thinks the entire male student population wants her.

-Jughead becomes.....well....I guess Jughead could still be her nickname, and she's a dorky, sarcastic and lazy girl who hangs out with Archina and can out-eat any man she knows.

-Betty and Veronica become Benny and Vinnie, one jock and one spoiled rich boy, best mates who constantly fight over Archina.

-Moose becomes Doe (a female deer is called a 'doe', get it? Of course you didn't!), a big, intimidating girl who beats up other girls that try to get too close to her handsome, sensitive-new-age-guy boyfriend Mick (instead of Midge).

Well, you get the point. All the characters swap genders but still retain their personalities. Funny isn't it?

Reading this article got me thinking about which film, literary, cartoon or comic book characters would become more interesting if they swapped genders. Don't worry, I'll keep the list short and sweet.

1. James Bond aka: Jane Bond

I know what you're all going to say. 'She'll just be another Lara Croft! Big whoop!' Be that as it may but I think it would still be an interesting scenario. Bond usually travelled around the world armed with his gadgets, his wit and his ability to pull in the ladies, all the while fighting power-mad maniacs so wouldn't it be interesting to see a girl get up to his adventures? James Bond went on several missions dressed in a tux or a formal suit, wouldn't it be interesting to see if a woman in a formal dress can get the job done without messing up her hair, make-up and outfit? Wouldn't it be cool to see a woman utter the words 'The name's Bond. Jane Bond' and order a glass of vodka martini, shaken but not stirred with a flirty swagger? And most of all, wouldn't it be cool to see her do some of the stunts and martial arts moves that James Bond is renowned for, not to mention score with a different 'Bond Guy' in each film? I know I'd enjoy it!

2. The Simpsons

This one would be fun! Imagine the Simpsons family undergoing a gender switch. Bart becomes a bratty little girl who gets up to mischief and enjoys making fun of her younger, dorkier brother, the two have an adorable baby brother with psychotic tendencies while Homer becomes an overweight, beer-swilling, lazy female nuclear power plant technician who can out-burp her male colleagues and Marge becomes the high-strung stay-at-home dad who occassionally takes odd jobs. Man, I actually want to see this one come into fruition!

3. Holden Caulfield aka: Mercedes Caulfield

We all know The Catcher in the Rye's Holden Caulfield - he's an angry teenager who refuses to grow up, shows utter contempt towards most people, detests 'phony' qualities in people and is drowning in his own self-loathing. What if he were to become a she? Therefore, Holden becomes Mercedes, the angriest teenage girl in the world.
I can imagine that she would be the type of girl that someone like Kristen Stewart, Taylor Momsen, Shailene Woodley and even Avril Lavigne (provided she can rediscover her angsty teen alter-ego) would play in a film. Cute, youthful, young at heart but also angry and has a pessimistic view of the world. Yeah, lots of teens would look at her and think 'Yup, I can/have see/seen myself in her'.

5. South Park

Man, this one would be a hoot for sure. Imagine if those four boys were four foul-mouthed little girls who get up to the same kind of hijinks that those boys did. I'm pretty sure that the outrage from this series would be doubled!
Instead of Eric, Stan, Kyle and Kenny, we got Erica, Sam, Kylie and Kimmy ('Oh my God! They killed Kimmy!' 'YOU BITCHES!!!!'). And I know they killed him off a long time ago but wouldn't it have been fun to see Chef as a funky female cook? Get someone like Octavia Spencer to provide her voice and she would have stolen the show for sure!

6. Twilight

Well now, how about this one? A moody, emo, over-dramatic boy (ie: the first or second teenage boy you'll encounter on the street) who has to choose between a mysterious but charming and stubborn female vampire named (think of an Angelina Jolie type but less slutty) and a likeable, cheerful, adventurous but temperamental werewolf (pretty much like your typical girl next door, I guess). I must say I would get a good laugh watching the male lead acting like a moody little pansy trying to decide which girl he wants to be with - not to mention those two girls trying to one-up the other in winning our hero's affections.

Well, that's it for now. Yeah, some stories, shows and movies would be quite interesting if different characters changed genders so I can't begrudge the folks at Archie comics for giving it a go. Female characters exhibiting male traits and vice-versa? Sounds fun to me!