You ungrateful snob!

Back in the 90's, Melissa George was the darling of Australian TV thanks to her role as Angel Parish in Home and Away. She would go on to eventually leave the show after three successful years to try her luck in the US and well, I'd say she did quite good for herself. She appeared in the TV series Alias, Friends, Charmed and Grey's Anatomy and the films The Amityville Horror and Derailed.

Last year she appeared in the critically-acclaimed Australian drama series The Slap and is now the star of a BBC series called Hunted.

Needless to say, Australia would be proud of her. Unfortunately, a recent tirade she made prior to appearing on The Morning Show on Friday morning may have dented her reputation in the eyes of the Australian public.
When George found out that the show's hosts Larry Emdur and Kylie Gillies were planning to ask her about her stint on Home And Away, George threatened to walk out of the studio and later went on a rant about how she would rather talk about her other roles (which is understandable) before unleashing a venomous attack on the Australian media.
While George has stated that she is always happy to return and work in Australia, she might not do so in a while out of apparent fear that she will be bogged down by questions about her stint on Home And Away.
'I don't need any credibility from my country anymore! If they have nothing intelligent to say, please don't speak to me anymore. I'd rather be having a croissant and an espresso in Paris or walking my French bulldog in New York City!' she said.
She also took a shot at the show that made her famous, stating that the Home And Away execs should pay her because, as she states, 'Nobody does more promotion for that f***ing show than me!'

George and her Home And Away co-star Dieter Brummer back in the day.

Well, there you go! Talk about ungrateful and snobby! While I can somewhat sympathise with Ms. George - it does get exhausting having to always talk about what you did in the past rather than what you are doing right now - she could have conducted herself with more dignity and grace. Taking a shot at an entire country and also the show that made you!? Girl, you must be out of your mind! Way to bite the hand that fed you all those years ago.
 And taking a cheap shot at the media? You do realise that as deplorable as some of their actions are, they are the people that have the power to trash your image if they wish to do so, right?

And the fact that she would even bring up that whole 'croissant and espresso in Paris and walking the dog in New York City' line makes it even worse. What an utterly shameless display of arrogance and snobbery. We're sorry, Ms. George, that not all of us can even imagine how good it would be to hang around in those beautiful cities whenever we please. Not all of us are celebrities who appear on TV and in movies and not all of us can marry and then date a string of wealthy people (I don't want to assume you're a gold digger, but considering the types of men you're usually linked with, some people WILL get suspicious). If that kind of life is the one you'd prefer, by all means live it. But don't you shove it up our faces because quite frankly, that's just arrogant and disrespectful and most of all, NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!

I hope the next time you decide to return to your homeland you pack and extra supply of manners and grace with you, Melissa. In the meantime, enjoy your self-imposed exile, eat all the croissants you want, sip as many espressos as you can until the awful ringing of Australian accents has left your head. And don't worry, we won't be holding our breaths awaiting your return.

BECAUSE NO ONE WILL CARE.

Quick Shot: So, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have split and it was Selena who ended it. I only have three things to say about this:

1. She probably called it off because she was tired of receiving death threats from Bieber's legion of psycho fans.

2. Ok, screw the zombie apocalypse, we have something much worse on our hands - TEENAGE GIRLS ON A RAMPAGE!!!!!!!!

3. Those One Direction boys heard about this and thought, 'Oh man, there goes our 15 minutes!'

Santa Bernd?

Note: This blog was created by a very, very bored man. It is not meant to be taken seriously.

It's news that is guaranteed to make a child cry. Santa won't be coming to town this Christmas.

Ok, calm down, kiddies. He'll probably still slide down your chimneys on Christmas Eve but he'll probably be a no-show in your local shopping centre.

According to a major recruitment company that hires volunteers willing to don the red and white costume to play the big guy in department stores and shopping centres, there have been a shortage in volunteers this year and they are desparate to fill up the numbers. At last count, an estimated 50 more people are needed to fill up 600 pairs of Santa boots. Age, nationality and even gender are not an issue.
Aspiring applicants must undergo police and background checks and attend 'Santa School' before starting the job. Oh well, so much for the folks planning to imitate Billy Bob Thornton's character on that film Bad Santa.

Big Bad Bernd read this article and thought to himself, 'Hmmm.....maybe I should apply for this. I'll be making plenty of children happy and will be spreading that Christmas joy around.'
To that end yours truly sat down and compiled a list of pros and cons regarding his decision. Let's examine them now, shall we?

PROS:

1. Bernd is a funny guy:
I hate to sound conceited but, yeah, I've been told by friends and family that I'm a pretty funny guy. Yeah! Can we get a round of applause? *Crickets chirping*

Man, tough crowd! Even so, I may not have been able to get a laugh out of you, dear readers (unless my self-deprecating sence of humour worked), but I'm pretty sure I can elicit some giggles from the kids.

2. Bernd is a good boy:
Skip the police and background checks, folks, because you won't find anything on me. I'm a good boy who believes that crime and stupid behaviour doesn't pay.

3. Bernd is flexible:
No, I can't wrap my legs around my head or do the splits but when it comes to flexible working hours, I'm your man. Just let me know what hours I'll be working and I can easily schedule my daily life around it.

4. Bernd is great with kids:
I'm not patronising enough to lie to them, I can be funny without being crass and I'm generally a good sport when it comes to them. They are, after all, the future.

Ok, there are the pros. Let's go to the other end of the scale.

CONS:

1. Bernd is grumpy:
If I'm in a bad mood, I have a bad habit of letting it show sometimes. Might be too much for the kids, especially if Santa Bernd rolls his eyes at some of their wishes or tells them to shut-the-fire-truck-up when they're carrying on too much. *Sigh* so much for that part about not being crass in front of children.

2. Bernd is brutally honest and cynical:
Let's face it, some kids will make wishes that are out of this world. While Bernd would try his best to be supportive to the little tykes, he can't promise them that he won't be trying to stifle his laughter or cynicism upon hearing some wishes. Let's say a kid told him 'Santa, I wish I could fly'. Bernd would probably nod his head while tears leak from his eyes due to the strain of trying hard not to laugh.
And (no disrespect to anyone out there) if a chubby kid were to sit on his lap and wish to be thinner, Bernd might accidentally say something like 'Then why don't you get up and move it, fatso!' Yeah, not pretty isn't it?
And if a kid makes a wish like bringing a loved one back from the dead....wow. Let's not even go there.
And if a kid makes a wish that is selfish or despicable (ie: bringing harm onto someone they don't like or wishing for all the money in the world), or worse, tells him that he's not the real Santa, Bernd just might get the ol' heave-ho from the store's staff for making a kid cry.

3. Bernd is vertically challenged:
I don't know if there is a height requirement in the job description but considering that some children grow fairly quickly nowadays, he could find himself being mistaken for one of Santa's elves who decided to try on Santa's suit.

4. Bernd is a skinny man:
The last time Bernd went to Munich for the Oktoberfest, he decided to get himself a lederhosen to fit in with the locals. He was gently told that he was too short and thin to fill one out. A Santa suit would be no different. Unless the store folks are willing to get him a fat suit, he would be absolutely miscast as the 'jolly fat man in red'.

5. Bernd doesn't always feel comfortable being poked, prodded and hugged by children:
Ok, this doesn't apply to all kids. They're cool peeps and Bernd is more than happy to get a hug from them if they ask politely and if their parents are ok with it.
But I will say that if a kid decided he/she wanted to poke Bernd in the face, pull on his beard, play with his fake belly it might get tiring after a while.
And if a kid who had just licked their hands decided they wanted to touch Bernd - that would be too much. Santa Bernd would probably leap out of that chair and run away screaming like a cat on fire. YECH!!!!!!

Well, I think we've covered it all. As you can see, Bernd is probably not the best choice to play Saint Nick, but he still wishes the recruitment companies, department stores and of course, all the little kiddies all the best.

Some folks just have no shame

A few days ago, US rapper Soulja Boy was forced to apologise to his fans on Tumblr after posting a picture of his naked penis on his account.
He claimed that he had 'accidentally' posted the offending picture and quickly took it down once he realised what he had done. Unfortunately, some of his fans saw the photo before he removed it.
Thus, he was forced to apologise, simply posting 'I apologise to ever seen that, accident'.

Yes, that was the apology. Bad grammar and all.

Soulja Boy

Forgive me for coming across as a cynical and judgemental jerk, but how the hell do you ACCIDENTALLY post a picture of your bits on the internet, let alone take your time in realising the error of your ways long enough for your followers to admire (or perhaps be sickened by) your handiwork? I understand that maybe he intended to send the photo privately to a girl he's dating but then inadvertently posted it publicly for all to see and then left the computer before realising what he did. Yeah, that sounds like an honest, though highly unfortunate mistake.
But still, when you post something on your account in your preferred social networking site, you'd make sure that you're not setting yourself up to look foolish and if you're uploading photos, that the CORRECT photos are being uploaded. It does pay to revise before you post, people.

And as for Soulja Boy, for a guy who's had a history of taking photos of his erections and posting them on social media for his female fans' pleasures (this guy should really change his pseudonym to 'Shameless Boy' or, more appropriately, 'Dickhead'), his excuse that he made an accident seems futile. I was more inclined to believe that he had every intention of posting the picture but only took it down when someone reminded him that he could get in big trouble for it. Well, accident or not, I hope Mr. Boy realises from here on out that one must always think before they post on social media. Making the wrong post not only opens the poor sap into a world of ridicule, but can get them into serious trouble.
Unfortunately, considering that he has angered some of his fellow hip hop artists and the US military with his profane song lyrics and immature behaviour, I don't think he'll learn his lesson in a hurry.   

In other news, a 23-year old man, identified as Jeremy Owens, was arrested after flashing his breast implants at fellow customers at a Walmart store in Pennsylvania. He tried to flee by boarding a bus but was dragged out kicking, screaming and spitting. He was allegedly intoxicated and was charged with aggrevated assault, drug possession, making terrorist threats and public drunkenness.

Inexplicably, he wasn't charged for indecent exposure.

Jeremy Owens

Ok, judging by the looks of this guy, he is probably thinking of undergoing a sex change. In my honest opinion, he looks like a cross between Robert Pattinson and Jennifer Lawrence with a bit of Ke$ha thrown in. I guess he had too much to drink and decided that he wanted to show the whole world a preview of 'the new Jeremy' (or whatever girls' name he intends to re-christen himself with once the surgery is complete). But that's just my opinion - and I sincerely hope that is the reason why he decided to get implants done in the first place!

Well, that's about it. Short and sweet. It is funny seeing the things that people do to get attention. But seriously, while pushing the envelope once in a while is all good, you have to make sure that you can get out of it with your reputation and dignity intact. It only takes one costly mistake to render your image forever damaged. People can and will associate you with your blunder for a long time.

But at the end of the day, some folks just have no shame.