When I read that singer Chris Brown threw a temper tantrum following an interview on Good Morning America sometime last week the first thought that sprang to mind was 'Oh no, here we go again!' As we all know, Brown assaulted then-girlfriend Rihanna in early 2009, causing her to miss the Grammys and tarnishing his reputation, seemingly for good. He managed to turn all that around, doing well in domestic violence classes and getting his career back on track, but then came that interview. During the interview, TV anchor Robin Roberts grilled him about his assault on Rihanna. Brown remained calm, stating that he had moved on but deep down he was fuming. He let it all out in his dressing room after the interview, when he ripped off his shirt, broke a window and confronted a producer, security and other staff members before storming out of the studio.
Ok, I don't condone the stuff he's done in the past, but people need to let him move on. He's already apologised for what he did, he served his punishment and just got his life back on track. Why bring that stuff up again!? God knows that I would get mad if people kept reminding me of the stupid things I did in the past over and over again. I think Brown made himself pretty clear on Twitter, stating that 'I am so over people bringing this past shit up! Yet we praise Charlie sheen and other celebs for their bullshit.' He took the message down minutes later and instead thanked his fans for their support. He does have a point. Sheen has done worse than Brown. Not only did he assault his wife, but he also put his kids' lives in danger, disrespected the creator, producers and co-stars of the TV show that made him millions and continues to behave like an idiot, humiliating himself and his family in the process, yet we don't crucify him for showing no remorse for his sins.
Maybe people are never going to forget the crime. After all, violence against women is a pretty serious offence. But provoking a guy with a known anger problem and causing him to snap is a pretty sick thing to do. Also, what about Rihanna? She's clearly put the incident behind her and bringing it up is not only a slap in the face for Brown, but also for the victim herself. Yes, it was a disgusting act on Brown's part and shame on him for doing it, but he's done his time and now it's time for us to let him move on. Just one piece of advice Chris, the Dennis Rodman look does not flatter you one bit. Blonde hair and tattoos, what the hell were you thinking!?
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Saving Charlie
Some time last year, I wrote a blog about Mel Gibson and how his acts of idiocy could have potentially killed his career. Well, this year we have a new demented celeb making waves in the news headlines, Charlie Sheen. We all know the story: He started drinking, drugging and partying heavily, he beat up on his wife, he went on a rant about the man who owns the successful TV show he starred in, he was sacked from said TV show and since then he's become more known for his trash-talking than his acting career.
I guess he should be thankful that he could continue earning money from Two and a Half men should it continue running because it's pretty obvious that his acting career is in limbo right now and he doesn't seem to be doing anything about it. Maybe he just wants to live a life of leisure, debauchery and deviance but let's face it, people who live that kind of life don't last long in the media spotlight. When was the last time anyone really gave a damn about what Paris Hilton, Dennis Rodman and Katie Price were up to? Charlie could keep up the act for a while but eventually, people and the media will get bored with his antics and before he knows it, he will become just another has-been who had it all and pissed it all away. I doubt that a man like him, who has an ego the size of China would want that to happen.
Clearly, Charlie needs help. And good ol' Bernd is here to map out some other ways he could keep himself relevant.
1. Direct a Porn film
There are rumours circulating that Charlie might get involved in the porn business, and with the kind of company he keeps these days, who didn't see it coming? I guess he could direct some raunchy, all-female film and call it 'The Goddesses'. But Charlie, please treat your cast and crew with respect. You cannot afford to burn anymore bridges. And remember: violence against women is NOT cool.
2. Release a rap record
In the world of hip hop, feuding with other rappers seems to be a must and the more people you diss, the more fans you win, provided you do it right. With all the trash-talking that Charlie's doing, I'm actually surprised he hasn't released a rap song yet. I reckon that his ranting and dissing would sound a lot better if it was accompanied by beats and music and God knows he has a lot of people to write about. Call him an angry, psychopathic Taylor Swift, if you will. The way he thinks the song could very well be the hardest hitting diss track since Hit 'Em Up by 2pac. His 'rapper' alias could be 'MC Chuck' or even 'Chuck the drug'.
3. 'Charlie Sheen, the drug'
In one of his more memorable rants, Charlie mentioned that he was high on a drug called 'Charlie Sheen'. It certainly struck a chord. There's a Facebook page devoted to it. Perhaps Charlie could use it to his advantage. He could maybe lend his name and likeness to a line of clothes, accessories, skateboards, mugs, stationery etc devoted to the line or he could even endorse his own sex drug, 'The Charlie Sheen'. It could be a big threat to viagra - not only does it send your libido through the roof, but it also makes you energetic, brave and ballsy. Warning: Prolonged use can turn you into an argumentative, irrational, mean-spirited bully with an over-inflated sense of their self-worth.
4. Become a politician
Just because Charlie's had a history of substance abuse and run-ins with the law and call-girls doesn't mean he can't cut it as a politician. Who said they had to be saints in the first place? Adultery, alcoholism, corruption, general bad behaviour, many politicians have been busted for them and more. Besides, it's not like Charlie's completely illiterate when it comes to politics and philantrophy. In 2004, he was the spokesperson for Lee National Denim day and he contributes to AIDS charities. Heck, he believes that the 9/11 attacks was staged.
If Charlie does one day become a senator, governor or even President, it could be good for him since he'll actually have a real excuse for keeping his attitude in check. Sure, whenever a TV / movie star talks crap, they can turn to their publicists and make it all go away. But when a politician is caught behaving badly, it resonates for a long time. We all still remember what Bill Clinton did with Monica Lewinsky, and a lot of comedians out there still poke fun at George W. Bush. Could you imagine the media frenzy that would result in the news that the President had been caught with hookers in the Oval Office?
5. Turn his life into a musical
I had recommended this move to Mel Gibson, and now I'm also recommending it to Charlie. He's had a pretty interesting life of his own, growing up in a family of actors and becoming the most successful actor out of his siblings. He starred in many iconic films and TV shows, won many awards for his works and, during his time on Two and a Half Men was the highest paid actor on TV. Then he crashed, feuding with his wives and co-stars, partying, boozing, affairs with hookers and porn stars, general bad behaviour etc. Put that together and you have one hell of a musical. Everyone loves a celebrity train crash and right now, Charlie Sheen is the man of the hour. Who knows, maybe he and Chuck Lorre can help make it happen!
Well, that's about it. Hope is not really lost for Charlie Sheen. Sure, he'd probably look at this list and thumb his nose at it, but if he decides one day that living like a trash-talking, lazy, millionaire playboy is getting tired, there are options open for him to get back on his feet. In the meantime, enjoy your life, Charlie. For now, we'll be content sitting back and reading all about your oh-so-fabulous life, your 'goddesses' and your enemies.
I guess he should be thankful that he could continue earning money from Two and a Half men should it continue running because it's pretty obvious that his acting career is in limbo right now and he doesn't seem to be doing anything about it. Maybe he just wants to live a life of leisure, debauchery and deviance but let's face it, people who live that kind of life don't last long in the media spotlight. When was the last time anyone really gave a damn about what Paris Hilton, Dennis Rodman and Katie Price were up to? Charlie could keep up the act for a while but eventually, people and the media will get bored with his antics and before he knows it, he will become just another has-been who had it all and pissed it all away. I doubt that a man like him, who has an ego the size of China would want that to happen.
Clearly, Charlie needs help. And good ol' Bernd is here to map out some other ways he could keep himself relevant.
1. Direct a Porn film
There are rumours circulating that Charlie might get involved in the porn business, and with the kind of company he keeps these days, who didn't see it coming? I guess he could direct some raunchy, all-female film and call it 'The Goddesses'. But Charlie, please treat your cast and crew with respect. You cannot afford to burn anymore bridges. And remember: violence against women is NOT cool.
2. Release a rap record
In the world of hip hop, feuding with other rappers seems to be a must and the more people you diss, the more fans you win, provided you do it right. With all the trash-talking that Charlie's doing, I'm actually surprised he hasn't released a rap song yet. I reckon that his ranting and dissing would sound a lot better if it was accompanied by beats and music and God knows he has a lot of people to write about. Call him an angry, psychopathic Taylor Swift, if you will. The way he thinks the song could very well be the hardest hitting diss track since Hit 'Em Up by 2pac. His 'rapper' alias could be 'MC Chuck' or even 'Chuck the drug'.
3. 'Charlie Sheen, the drug'
In one of his more memorable rants, Charlie mentioned that he was high on a drug called 'Charlie Sheen'. It certainly struck a chord. There's a Facebook page devoted to it. Perhaps Charlie could use it to his advantage. He could maybe lend his name and likeness to a line of clothes, accessories, skateboards, mugs, stationery etc devoted to the line or he could even endorse his own sex drug, 'The Charlie Sheen'. It could be a big threat to viagra - not only does it send your libido through the roof, but it also makes you energetic, brave and ballsy. Warning: Prolonged use can turn you into an argumentative, irrational, mean-spirited bully with an over-inflated sense of their self-worth.
4. Become a politician
Just because Charlie's had a history of substance abuse and run-ins with the law and call-girls doesn't mean he can't cut it as a politician. Who said they had to be saints in the first place? Adultery, alcoholism, corruption, general bad behaviour, many politicians have been busted for them and more. Besides, it's not like Charlie's completely illiterate when it comes to politics and philantrophy. In 2004, he was the spokesperson for Lee National Denim day and he contributes to AIDS charities. Heck, he believes that the 9/11 attacks was staged.
If Charlie does one day become a senator, governor or even President, it could be good for him since he'll actually have a real excuse for keeping his attitude in check. Sure, whenever a TV / movie star talks crap, they can turn to their publicists and make it all go away. But when a politician is caught behaving badly, it resonates for a long time. We all still remember what Bill Clinton did with Monica Lewinsky, and a lot of comedians out there still poke fun at George W. Bush. Could you imagine the media frenzy that would result in the news that the President had been caught with hookers in the Oval Office?
5. Turn his life into a musical
I had recommended this move to Mel Gibson, and now I'm also recommending it to Charlie. He's had a pretty interesting life of his own, growing up in a family of actors and becoming the most successful actor out of his siblings. He starred in many iconic films and TV shows, won many awards for his works and, during his time on Two and a Half Men was the highest paid actor on TV. Then he crashed, feuding with his wives and co-stars, partying, boozing, affairs with hookers and porn stars, general bad behaviour etc. Put that together and you have one hell of a musical. Everyone loves a celebrity train crash and right now, Charlie Sheen is the man of the hour. Who knows, maybe he and Chuck Lorre can help make it happen!
Well, that's about it. Hope is not really lost for Charlie Sheen. Sure, he'd probably look at this list and thumb his nose at it, but if he decides one day that living like a trash-talking, lazy, millionaire playboy is getting tired, there are options open for him to get back on his feet. In the meantime, enjoy your life, Charlie. For now, we'll be content sitting back and reading all about your oh-so-fabulous life, your 'goddesses' and your enemies.
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