Career Aspirations

Like many people, I had some rather unusual career choices as a kid. You know how it is, you see and hear things on TV, radio, books etc and you decide 'hey, that looks like fun! I wanna do that when I grow up!'

That train of thought wasn't lost on me. I had some pretty weird and wonderful ambitions when I was young. Some were pretty reasonable, others were a little strange while others were just ridiculous. Allow me to share some of them.



1. Police Officer



I was a fan of shoot-em-up games when I was young, so much so that it's a miracle I didn't grow up to be a serial killer. Anyway, I thought being a cop was a fun, rewarding career. You save people's lives, you put bad guys behind bars, you get to wear a cool uniform, you carry a gun, you get to shoot bad guys once in a while, it was something I thought I wanted to do....until my friend at school put that ambition to rest when he told me 'you do realise that people die on the job right?'



2. Fire fighter



Ok, this one really only sprang to mind because when I was young, one of my favourite toys was a miniature fire truck. Otherwise, it didn't develop into a serious career choice.



3. Palaeontologist



I was a real nerd when I was young and like most of them, I was fascinated by dinosaurs as a kid. Naturally, I thought that it would be great if I could make a living digging their bones up, studying them and naming them. Unfortunately, that ambition faded too, mainly because I discovered that I sucked in science and so the Berndtoacrispasaurus remains non-existent.



4. Artist



I can't draw to save my life, but as a kid, I was good at it. As far as child-level drawings went I was quite good, and it was a real boost for my then-limited ego whenever some of my classmates asked for my assistance when it came to drawing. 'You should be an artist, dude!' they'd say in admiration. Well, I'll bet those same folks wouldn't be telling me that now. I'd probably be the only artist dumb enough to try passing off stick figures on a blank canvas as a classic.



5. Superhero



Admit it, some of you people out there once aspired to be a superhero at one stage of your lives! I was a huge fan of cartoons as a kid, with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Batman and Superman among my favourite superheroes. But I think it was Superman that I wanted to be like the most. I mean, he can fly, he can leap tall buildings in a single bound, he's the man of steel, he's good-looking, has a girlfriend....all that despite not knowing that underwear goes inside the pants. Put it this way; my parents used to tell me that Superheroes were strong because they ate vegetables every day. As a result, I never had an issue with them!



6. Actor



Another career choice that I'm sure everyone has contemplated one way or another. For me, I just figured that since I had a knack for impersonating people and enjoyed entertaining my classmates by trying to be a class clown (though I think they were laughing at me rather than with me) I might as well get paid for it. Let's face it; many actors out there aren't even good at what they do so I thought 'hmm...how hard can it be?' Well, now I know that it's pretty damn hard. For one thing, I'm a pretty private person so I'd probably spend most of my career locked up behind bars for assaulting paparazzi. I'd probably spend my free time getting drunk or stoned 24/7 while partying with porn stars. That or I'd show up on sets, not bother to learn my lines and get bored and piss my career away. How do Alec Baldwin, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan sleep at night!?



7. Professional Video Game player.



Whenever I look back on this career choice I get pissed off. I was a serious gamer when I was young, so much so that it forever ruined my eyesight (I think) and contributed greatly to my weight gain as a child. My folks even dryly told me one time that 'if video gaming was a career, you'd be a millionaire'. This was the 90's, people and as far as I knew, it wasn't something you can make a living out of at the time.

Well, I gave up the games some 6 or 7 years ago and now I know that you CAN make a living as a pro video game player. WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS WHEN I WAS A KID HUH!!!???? All the time that people made fun of me for not being an athlete I could've put them in their place by earning millions as a pro gamer. Too late to start now, though. I haven't played in a long time and have lost touch with the gaming world. Hell, I don't even know the latest console that everyone is flogging these days. Just goes to show that sometimes you shouldn't give up on your ambitions!



Well, there you have it. As you can see, I had some pretty big dreams as a kid. Kinda funny how young minds work eh? Oh well, been nice sharing with you all, I'm out for now.