How the mighty have fallen. Mel Gibson, one of the most powerful men in Hollywood has been exposed as a racist, bigoted, mysoginistic and semi-homicidal maniac. A series of secret recordings captured Gibson verbally abusing his girlfriend Oksana, all the while managing to insult African-Americans, Hispanics, Jews and women in the process. The recordings also revealed that he frequently beat up on her to the extent that he knocked some of her teeth out. While she was holding their infant daughter. True, it is possible that Gibson, who has battled alcoholism in the past might have been drunk when he did all this, but that shouldn't be seen as an excuse. In fact, it exacerbates the situation. I doubt that even the most integrity-challenged judge would allow a psycho like Gibson access to his girlfriend again, let alone their daughter. To make matters worse, this could be a career-ender for him. His agency has dropped him and I'm sure he'd be hard-pressed to find a film executive, casting agent or director begging for his services. They certainly don't need someone whose credibility is so shot that he makes recent sinners like Tiger Woods, Chris Brown and even jail-bound Lindsay Lohan look like saints festering their upcoming films' image.
But, I think I can rectify the problem for him. While I certainly agree that Gibson's actions are beyond reprehensible, I think it would be fun to explore the options he can take to salvage what's left of his image. His name might have been dragged through the mud but it doesn't change the fact that he's a Hollywood legend. People don't forget that. Soe let's take a look at some options a Hollywood legend has for redemption.
1. Write a children's book
Madonna did it. Hell, even the former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd did it. So why can't Gibson do it? It's not exactly an epic comeback but it would be a nice way to redeem himself. Just remember, Mel, it's a CHILDREN'S book, not another Lethal Weapon or Mad Max script. No swearing or extreme violence required. For an extra touch, he could make the hero of the story Black, Latino, Jewish or female.
2. Release a covers album
Ok, this option often results in epic humiliation (cough! cough! Scarlett Johansson!), but because we can now safely assume that Gibson is going to be blacklisted by Hollywood, he really has no choice. But before you scoff at the idea, let's not forget that Gibson can sing a little bit. Yes, I've seen Pocahontas in which he voiced the character John Smith and well, let's just say he was allowed to do his own singing. Perhaps releasing an album of country or rock classics can get him back on track. As long as he stays away from Miley Cyrus songs.
3. Do a 'comeback' film
Jean-Claude Van Damme had JCVD. Mickey Rourke had The Wrestler. Gibson should be able to pull this one off. After all, he is a much better and infinately more respectable actor than those guys (note how I said 'actor' and not 'person'). Perhaps he can do the whole writer-director-star thing and create his own film which will see him play a role that not only touches audiences, but can also get his career back on track. Like I said before, film directors will probably avoid him like the plague after what he did, and so clearly he'll be better off creating films from scratch on his own. And he's proven in the past that he can.
4. Release his own cologne
Ok, this is probably the least marketable option for him bu I thought I'd throw it out there. With all these celebs spruiking their own 'signature scents', maybe Gibson can do the same. He can call it 'Rage by Mel Gibson' or 'Madness by Mel Gibson'. I can just see the ad now; (Start off with soft music) 'Wanna know how a washed-up, racist, sexist, raving drunken lunatic smells like? (Que raging electric guitar) HERE IT IS! RAGE BY MEL GIBSON!!!!!' I'd imagine that the scent would be that of a typical scoundrel - a combination of cigarette smoke, booze, bad BO and bad breath. Told you it was the least marketable option.
5. Turn his life into a musical
If that comeback film doesn't take off, maybe Gibson can hire a Broadway producer to turn his colourful life into a musical. It worked for Shane Warne, I think it should work for Gibson. His was one of the most decorated and interesting careers in Hollywood. I mean, he once made women swoon, won an Oscar for a film he starred and directed and he also starred in some iconic roles both in Hollywood and his adopted nation of Australia. Then there's the alcoholism, racism, infidelities, mistreating his girlfriend, demonic behaviour... The script writes itself. And it's one of those fall-from-grace types of stories audiences love. And maybe Hugh Jackman can portray the great man himself.
6. Partake in a talent show
As some of you might know, former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was a recent participant in Italy's Dancing With The Stars. Gibson should perhaps follow in the footsteps of his fellow celebrity train-wreck maybe take part in the US version of the TV series. I mean, besides boosting his popularity to a certain extent, maybe all that dancing can give him some of his looks back. Have you seen the way the guy looks these days? You can pass him in the streets thinking 'Who was that bum?' and not know that he's a billionaire! Whatever the case, even if it turns out he has two left feet, at least viewers can tune in week after week to see him make a fool of himself. One final word, Mel, please keep it professional between you and your dance partner. The last thing we need is another story of how you romances another woman more than 15 years your junior and then subsequently attacked her in another alcohol-fuelled rage.
Well, that's that. As you can see, Mel Gibson may have taken his career and reputation and slam-dunked them into the nearest trash can, but they can still be salvaged. I mean, should one of my suggestions take off, maybe Hollywood will be kind to him once again. If not, well then you'd better sit back and enjoy the ride to oblivion, Mr. Gibson. Say goodbye to fame and glory and hello to rehab, child support, criminal charges and most of all, ridicule and bad press. Maybe you can give some of your new friends like Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, Tiger Woods, Chris Brown and Britney Spears a call, meet up at a pub, order a round of beers and discuss how you once had it all and threw it away. Then you can finish the conversation when you're all locked up in the same prison for drunken disorderly behaviour (Yes, that was a cheap one but I couldn't resist).
But, I think I can rectify the problem for him. While I certainly agree that Gibson's actions are beyond reprehensible, I think it would be fun to explore the options he can take to salvage what's left of his image. His name might have been dragged through the mud but it doesn't change the fact that he's a Hollywood legend. People don't forget that. Soe let's take a look at some options a Hollywood legend has for redemption.
1. Write a children's book
Madonna did it. Hell, even the former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd did it. So why can't Gibson do it? It's not exactly an epic comeback but it would be a nice way to redeem himself. Just remember, Mel, it's a CHILDREN'S book, not another Lethal Weapon or Mad Max script. No swearing or extreme violence required. For an extra touch, he could make the hero of the story Black, Latino, Jewish or female.
2. Release a covers album
Ok, this option often results in epic humiliation (cough! cough! Scarlett Johansson!), but because we can now safely assume that Gibson is going to be blacklisted by Hollywood, he really has no choice. But before you scoff at the idea, let's not forget that Gibson can sing a little bit. Yes, I've seen Pocahontas in which he voiced the character John Smith and well, let's just say he was allowed to do his own singing. Perhaps releasing an album of country or rock classics can get him back on track. As long as he stays away from Miley Cyrus songs.
3. Do a 'comeback' film
Jean-Claude Van Damme had JCVD. Mickey Rourke had The Wrestler. Gibson should be able to pull this one off. After all, he is a much better and infinately more respectable actor than those guys (note how I said 'actor' and not 'person'). Perhaps he can do the whole writer-director-star thing and create his own film which will see him play a role that not only touches audiences, but can also get his career back on track. Like I said before, film directors will probably avoid him like the plague after what he did, and so clearly he'll be better off creating films from scratch on his own. And he's proven in the past that he can.
4. Release his own cologne
Ok, this is probably the least marketable option for him bu I thought I'd throw it out there. With all these celebs spruiking their own 'signature scents', maybe Gibson can do the same. He can call it 'Rage by Mel Gibson' or 'Madness by Mel Gibson'. I can just see the ad now; (Start off with soft music) 'Wanna know how a washed-up, racist, sexist, raving drunken lunatic smells like? (Que raging electric guitar) HERE IT IS! RAGE BY MEL GIBSON!!!!!' I'd imagine that the scent would be that of a typical scoundrel - a combination of cigarette smoke, booze, bad BO and bad breath. Told you it was the least marketable option.
5. Turn his life into a musical
If that comeback film doesn't take off, maybe Gibson can hire a Broadway producer to turn his colourful life into a musical. It worked for Shane Warne, I think it should work for Gibson. His was one of the most decorated and interesting careers in Hollywood. I mean, he once made women swoon, won an Oscar for a film he starred and directed and he also starred in some iconic roles both in Hollywood and his adopted nation of Australia. Then there's the alcoholism, racism, infidelities, mistreating his girlfriend, demonic behaviour... The script writes itself. And it's one of those fall-from-grace types of stories audiences love. And maybe Hugh Jackman can portray the great man himself.
6. Partake in a talent show
As some of you might know, former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was a recent participant in Italy's Dancing With The Stars. Gibson should perhaps follow in the footsteps of his fellow celebrity train-wreck maybe take part in the US version of the TV series. I mean, besides boosting his popularity to a certain extent, maybe all that dancing can give him some of his looks back. Have you seen the way the guy looks these days? You can pass him in the streets thinking 'Who was that bum?' and not know that he's a billionaire! Whatever the case, even if it turns out he has two left feet, at least viewers can tune in week after week to see him make a fool of himself. One final word, Mel, please keep it professional between you and your dance partner. The last thing we need is another story of how you romances another woman more than 15 years your junior and then subsequently attacked her in another alcohol-fuelled rage.
Well, that's that. As you can see, Mel Gibson may have taken his career and reputation and slam-dunked them into the nearest trash can, but they can still be salvaged. I mean, should one of my suggestions take off, maybe Hollywood will be kind to him once again. If not, well then you'd better sit back and enjoy the ride to oblivion, Mr. Gibson. Say goodbye to fame and glory and hello to rehab, child support, criminal charges and most of all, ridicule and bad press. Maybe you can give some of your new friends like Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, Tiger Woods, Chris Brown and Britney Spears a call, meet up at a pub, order a round of beers and discuss how you once had it all and threw it away. Then you can finish the conversation when you're all locked up in the same prison for drunken disorderly behaviour (Yes, that was a cheap one but I couldn't resist).
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