You ungrateful snob!

Back in the 90's, Melissa George was the darling of Australian TV thanks to her role as Angel Parish in Home and Away. She would go on to eventually leave the show after three successful years to try her luck in the US and well, I'd say she did quite good for herself. She appeared in the TV series Alias, Friends, Charmed and Grey's Anatomy and the films The Amityville Horror and Derailed.

Last year she appeared in the critically-acclaimed Australian drama series The Slap and is now the star of a BBC series called Hunted.

Needless to say, Australia would be proud of her. Unfortunately, a recent tirade she made prior to appearing on The Morning Show on Friday morning may have dented her reputation in the eyes of the Australian public.
When George found out that the show's hosts Larry Emdur and Kylie Gillies were planning to ask her about her stint on Home And Away, George threatened to walk out of the studio and later went on a rant about how she would rather talk about her other roles (which is understandable) before unleashing a venomous attack on the Australian media.
While George has stated that she is always happy to return and work in Australia, she might not do so in a while out of apparent fear that she will be bogged down by questions about her stint on Home And Away.
'I don't need any credibility from my country anymore! If they have nothing intelligent to say, please don't speak to me anymore. I'd rather be having a croissant and an espresso in Paris or walking my French bulldog in New York City!' she said.
She also took a shot at the show that made her famous, stating that the Home And Away execs should pay her because, as she states, 'Nobody does more promotion for that f***ing show than me!'

George and her Home And Away co-star Dieter Brummer back in the day.

Well, there you go! Talk about ungrateful and snobby! While I can somewhat sympathise with Ms. George - it does get exhausting having to always talk about what you did in the past rather than what you are doing right now - she could have conducted herself with more dignity and grace. Taking a shot at an entire country and also the show that made you!? Girl, you must be out of your mind! Way to bite the hand that fed you all those years ago.
 And taking a cheap shot at the media? You do realise that as deplorable as some of their actions are, they are the people that have the power to trash your image if they wish to do so, right?

And the fact that she would even bring up that whole 'croissant and espresso in Paris and walking the dog in New York City' line makes it even worse. What an utterly shameless display of arrogance and snobbery. We're sorry, Ms. George, that not all of us can even imagine how good it would be to hang around in those beautiful cities whenever we please. Not all of us are celebrities who appear on TV and in movies and not all of us can marry and then date a string of wealthy people (I don't want to assume you're a gold digger, but considering the types of men you're usually linked with, some people WILL get suspicious). If that kind of life is the one you'd prefer, by all means live it. But don't you shove it up our faces because quite frankly, that's just arrogant and disrespectful and most of all, NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!

I hope the next time you decide to return to your homeland you pack and extra supply of manners and grace with you, Melissa. In the meantime, enjoy your self-imposed exile, eat all the croissants you want, sip as many espressos as you can until the awful ringing of Australian accents has left your head. And don't worry, we won't be holding our breaths awaiting your return.

BECAUSE NO ONE WILL CARE.

Quick Shot: So, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have split and it was Selena who ended it. I only have three things to say about this:

1. She probably called it off because she was tired of receiving death threats from Bieber's legion of psycho fans.

2. Ok, screw the zombie apocalypse, we have something much worse on our hands - TEENAGE GIRLS ON A RAMPAGE!!!!!!!!

3. Those One Direction boys heard about this and thought, 'Oh man, there goes our 15 minutes!'

Santa Bernd?

Note: This blog was created by a very, very bored man. It is not meant to be taken seriously.

It's news that is guaranteed to make a child cry. Santa won't be coming to town this Christmas.

Ok, calm down, kiddies. He'll probably still slide down your chimneys on Christmas Eve but he'll probably be a no-show in your local shopping centre.

According to a major recruitment company that hires volunteers willing to don the red and white costume to play the big guy in department stores and shopping centres, there have been a shortage in volunteers this year and they are desparate to fill up the numbers. At last count, an estimated 50 more people are needed to fill up 600 pairs of Santa boots. Age, nationality and even gender are not an issue.
Aspiring applicants must undergo police and background checks and attend 'Santa School' before starting the job. Oh well, so much for the folks planning to imitate Billy Bob Thornton's character on that film Bad Santa.

Big Bad Bernd read this article and thought to himself, 'Hmmm.....maybe I should apply for this. I'll be making plenty of children happy and will be spreading that Christmas joy around.'
To that end yours truly sat down and compiled a list of pros and cons regarding his decision. Let's examine them now, shall we?

PROS:

1. Bernd is a funny guy:
I hate to sound conceited but, yeah, I've been told by friends and family that I'm a pretty funny guy. Yeah! Can we get a round of applause? *Crickets chirping*

Man, tough crowd! Even so, I may not have been able to get a laugh out of you, dear readers (unless my self-deprecating sence of humour worked), but I'm pretty sure I can elicit some giggles from the kids.

2. Bernd is a good boy:
Skip the police and background checks, folks, because you won't find anything on me. I'm a good boy who believes that crime and stupid behaviour doesn't pay.

3. Bernd is flexible:
No, I can't wrap my legs around my head or do the splits but when it comes to flexible working hours, I'm your man. Just let me know what hours I'll be working and I can easily schedule my daily life around it.

4. Bernd is great with kids:
I'm not patronising enough to lie to them, I can be funny without being crass and I'm generally a good sport when it comes to them. They are, after all, the future.

Ok, there are the pros. Let's go to the other end of the scale.

CONS:

1. Bernd is grumpy:
If I'm in a bad mood, I have a bad habit of letting it show sometimes. Might be too much for the kids, especially if Santa Bernd rolls his eyes at some of their wishes or tells them to shut-the-fire-truck-up when they're carrying on too much. *Sigh* so much for that part about not being crass in front of children.

2. Bernd is brutally honest and cynical:
Let's face it, some kids will make wishes that are out of this world. While Bernd would try his best to be supportive to the little tykes, he can't promise them that he won't be trying to stifle his laughter or cynicism upon hearing some wishes. Let's say a kid told him 'Santa, I wish I could fly'. Bernd would probably nod his head while tears leak from his eyes due to the strain of trying hard not to laugh.
And (no disrespect to anyone out there) if a chubby kid were to sit on his lap and wish to be thinner, Bernd might accidentally say something like 'Then why don't you get up and move it, fatso!' Yeah, not pretty isn't it?
And if a kid makes a wish like bringing a loved one back from the dead....wow. Let's not even go there.
And if a kid makes a wish that is selfish or despicable (ie: bringing harm onto someone they don't like or wishing for all the money in the world), or worse, tells him that he's not the real Santa, Bernd just might get the ol' heave-ho from the store's staff for making a kid cry.

3. Bernd is vertically challenged:
I don't know if there is a height requirement in the job description but considering that some children grow fairly quickly nowadays, he could find himself being mistaken for one of Santa's elves who decided to try on Santa's suit.

4. Bernd is a skinny man:
The last time Bernd went to Munich for the Oktoberfest, he decided to get himself a lederhosen to fit in with the locals. He was gently told that he was too short and thin to fill one out. A Santa suit would be no different. Unless the store folks are willing to get him a fat suit, he would be absolutely miscast as the 'jolly fat man in red'.

5. Bernd doesn't always feel comfortable being poked, prodded and hugged by children:
Ok, this doesn't apply to all kids. They're cool peeps and Bernd is more than happy to get a hug from them if they ask politely and if their parents are ok with it.
But I will say that if a kid decided he/she wanted to poke Bernd in the face, pull on his beard, play with his fake belly it might get tiring after a while.
And if a kid who had just licked their hands decided they wanted to touch Bernd - that would be too much. Santa Bernd would probably leap out of that chair and run away screaming like a cat on fire. YECH!!!!!!

Well, I think we've covered it all. As you can see, Bernd is probably not the best choice to play Saint Nick, but he still wishes the recruitment companies, department stores and of course, all the little kiddies all the best.

Some folks just have no shame

A few days ago, US rapper Soulja Boy was forced to apologise to his fans on Tumblr after posting a picture of his naked penis on his account.
He claimed that he had 'accidentally' posted the offending picture and quickly took it down once he realised what he had done. Unfortunately, some of his fans saw the photo before he removed it.
Thus, he was forced to apologise, simply posting 'I apologise to ever seen that, accident'.

Yes, that was the apology. Bad grammar and all.

Soulja Boy

Forgive me for coming across as a cynical and judgemental jerk, but how the hell do you ACCIDENTALLY post a picture of your bits on the internet, let alone take your time in realising the error of your ways long enough for your followers to admire (or perhaps be sickened by) your handiwork? I understand that maybe he intended to send the photo privately to a girl he's dating but then inadvertently posted it publicly for all to see and then left the computer before realising what he did. Yeah, that sounds like an honest, though highly unfortunate mistake.
But still, when you post something on your account in your preferred social networking site, you'd make sure that you're not setting yourself up to look foolish and if you're uploading photos, that the CORRECT photos are being uploaded. It does pay to revise before you post, people.

And as for Soulja Boy, for a guy who's had a history of taking photos of his erections and posting them on social media for his female fans' pleasures (this guy should really change his pseudonym to 'Shameless Boy' or, more appropriately, 'Dickhead'), his excuse that he made an accident seems futile. I was more inclined to believe that he had every intention of posting the picture but only took it down when someone reminded him that he could get in big trouble for it. Well, accident or not, I hope Mr. Boy realises from here on out that one must always think before they post on social media. Making the wrong post not only opens the poor sap into a world of ridicule, but can get them into serious trouble.
Unfortunately, considering that he has angered some of his fellow hip hop artists and the US military with his profane song lyrics and immature behaviour, I don't think he'll learn his lesson in a hurry.   

In other news, a 23-year old man, identified as Jeremy Owens, was arrested after flashing his breast implants at fellow customers at a Walmart store in Pennsylvania. He tried to flee by boarding a bus but was dragged out kicking, screaming and spitting. He was allegedly intoxicated and was charged with aggrevated assault, drug possession, making terrorist threats and public drunkenness.

Inexplicably, he wasn't charged for indecent exposure.

Jeremy Owens

Ok, judging by the looks of this guy, he is probably thinking of undergoing a sex change. In my honest opinion, he looks like a cross between Robert Pattinson and Jennifer Lawrence with a bit of Ke$ha thrown in. I guess he had too much to drink and decided that he wanted to show the whole world a preview of 'the new Jeremy' (or whatever girls' name he intends to re-christen himself with once the surgery is complete). But that's just my opinion - and I sincerely hope that is the reason why he decided to get implants done in the first place!

Well, that's about it. Short and sweet. It is funny seeing the things that people do to get attention. But seriously, while pushing the envelope once in a while is all good, you have to make sure that you can get out of it with your reputation and dignity intact. It only takes one costly mistake to render your image forever damaged. People can and will associate you with your blunder for a long time.

But at the end of the day, some folks just have no shame.

Teacher, you get an F

WARNING: This blog contains strong opinions that may offend. Apologies if I inadvertently insult anyone but that was never my intention.

I am very pedantic when it comes to spelling, punctuation and grammar. What you don't know, dear reader, is that whenever I compose these tirades that I like to call blogs I always use the spell-check function on Microsoft Word just to make sure I spell certain words or even sentences correctly.
This is not to say that my spelling, punctuation and grammar is always perfect - I do make mistakes once in a while - but I always try to ensure that I am spot on.
But you will never, I repeat NEVER catch me using words incorrectly. No offence to anyone but I find it astonishing that some people cannot tell the difference between some words that sound alike but have different meanings. Take the words 'allowed' and 'aloud' as an example. They are not the same word, people. Same with the words 'there', 'they're' and 'their'. I shake my head at the number of times I catch someone using those three words in the wrong context - and that's just newspaper and internet reporters.
Unless you're sending out an SMS on your phone or an informal message to your friends or family on some social networking website of your choice you really have no excuse to be mixing those words up on a frequent basis.

Now, whenever I send SMS messages I do abbreviate some words and expressions (ie: later written as 'l8er', because written as 'coz', seriously as 'srsly') just to save time and space. But that said, I will never allow any SMS-style spelling get in the way of my real spelling ability. Could you just imagine how my blogs would look if that were the case? There would be a decided lack of vowels and numbers slotted in the wrong areas.

A story I read today in the paper made me cringe. If you've read some of my past blogs, I've ranted that some kids these days are ill-mannered and disrespectful, had irresponsible parents and that schools have gone soft and stupid on them.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse I read today that some school teachers have been caught using SMS-style spelling and grammatical errors when filling out school reports, report cards and lesson plans. Some parents also complained that their childrens' teachers were lacklustre and languid in their approach to their profession, taught incorrect information and provided children with 'word lists' to study that were littered with spelling errors.
One teacher griped claimed that many graduate teachers who lacked a basic understanding of grammar, spelling and punctuation only have themselves to blame due to their lackadaisical approach to their own schooling. She added that she was concerned for the future of her childrens' learning as long as teachers like these existed.
The situation is so dire that the federal government plans to give current teachers specialist training in which they will be mentored by more experienced teachers.

I have always said that I am glad I was a schoolkid years ago rather than now. It was bad enough being bullied back then and having to put up with a few idiot teachers whose mind-numbing and incoherent methods prevented me from realising my full schoolwork potential. But at least I still finished in one piece with my sanity mostly intact and with decent, if not outstanding grades.
Today, bullying has escalated to include cyber-bullying and assaults with deadly weapons, more kids are skipping class, schools are becoming more lax and ridiculous with their rules and now some teachers are getting dumber. Seriously, SMS-style spelling and grammatical errors? School reports, lesson plans and report cards filled with errors? A lax approach to their profession? Wow, just wow. Are you telling me that there are people out there educating the youth of our nation who can't even form simple sentences without screwing up!? The thought of it makes me sick.

Seriously, if I had a kid and he/she brought home a bad report card that was full of spelling and grammatical errors from their teacher I would be livid. Not just from the kid's lack of effort in class but from his/her teacher's lack of effort in their profession. I would immediately report the teacher and push for them to be sacked and sent back to school. Call me overdramatic but that's just how I feel. I would be absolutely disgusted if I knew my children were being taught by some incompetent imbecile who spells simple words with numbers inserted to substitute at least two letters in that word.

To you teachers out there who make these mistakes, do you review what you've written before they get sent out to students and their parents? Did excessive use of your electronic devices scramble your brain cells to the point that you do not remember the original spelling of certain words or are you so dumb that you cannot seem to differentiate between school reports and text messages sent to friends? Your job is to teach these kids, people! If you have lost your ability to spell simple words correctly and COMPLETELY and to formulate sentences without messing up then perhaps it's time to look for a new line of work. How do you expect to be taken seriously when angry parents are howling for your dismissal?

Let's suppose your child was misbehaving in class and you got a letter from their teacher expressing their concern. How would you react if the letter looked like this?

Dear *insert name here*

*Insert child's name here* wuz l8 4 class 2day an wuz actin lyk a tool so I snt him hom erly. Sry 4 da trouble.  

This is a serious problem, people. If the teachers in our schools can't even do their jobs to the best of their ability then the children of today and maybe even the future are in serious jeopardy. Luckily, the government have seen this problem and are taking steps to fix it, which I am all for. You can fix the school and put up new rules, regulations and systems to raise students' performances but what's the point if their teachers can't do their part?
Let's keep the SMS-style spelling and real spelling separate. And let's learn how to use words and formulate sentences the correct way. Teachers back when I was a kid were able to, there's no reason why some of you teachers today shouldn't be able to do the same.

Beware of what you share

An internet hacking group called Anonymous recently named and shamed a man who posted topless pictures of a 15-year old girl online and bullied her into committing suicide.
The girl, Amanda Todd, hanged herself on October 10. Just weeks prior to her death she had posted a video on youtube in which she described the pain she has had to go through thanks to relentless cyber bullying.

It all started when she met a stranger online who asked her to show him her breasts on a webcam. Inexplicably, she went through with the request, only to learn that the stranger had uploaded the image on a Facebook page in which her friends were added. She was bullied mercilessly by her peers, to the point that she was forced to move to a new city and change schools.

But more trouble was to come.

She then began a relationship with an older man, unaware that he had a girlfriend. The man's jealous girlfriend tracked her down and beat her up, plunging her into such a state that she went home and drank bleach in an attempt to commit suicide.
She was rushed to hospital to flush out the bleach but she continued in her attempt to end her life, despite counselling and antidepressants. On October 10, she was found hanged.

A sad story indeed. But upon reading it, I couldn't help but shake my head in disbelief. While I am glad that the scumbag who started all this was caught and while I hope that all the bullies who brought so much misery into Amanda's short, tragic life will get what they deserve, if Amanda was around today and I had the chance to have a talk with her, the first question I would ask is 'WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING!!!???' Seriously, did she expect anything good to come out of flashing her naughty bits to a complete stranger on the internet? It doesn't take a genius to know that such acts can lead to a world of pain and damaged reputations. Perhaps teenage exuberance and naivete' may have played a part but really, and no offense intended, Amanda should have known better.

It makes me sad whenever I read news stories of people (most of whom are young girls) being bullied and tormented all because of a mistake they made on the internet, which are mostly of the over-sharing type. No one deserves to be treated that way, but some victims really have no one to blame but themselves. Yes, cyber bullying can be the result of other people's doing (eg. people taking a lot of flak thanks to false rumours being spread about them online) but in other cases, they are the result of the victim's carelessness. It goes without saying that you should be careful of what you share online, especially to people you have never met before. They are not always what - or who - they appear to be.

Anonymous identified a 32-year old man from British Columbia, Canada as the offender, and as it turns out his username has appeared in other websites in which he blackmails and preys on young girls. Unfortunately, attempts to speak to him have been futile, especially since the address that Anonymous gave to the police was the wrong one. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, however, states that they are aware of the information posted online.

This tragic story should serve as a cautionary tale for internet users everywhere, particularly those who are young and impressionable. Be very careful about what you share and beware of creeps online. Do not post anything on there that you wouldn't want your parents to see.
As for Amanda Todd, may you Rest In Peace, Kiddo. Your suffering is over now. Condolences go out to your friends and family.

You crossed the line, mate.

I couldn't care less about politics and I will admit I am no big fan of Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard.
Not only did she lie and backstab her way into her position, but upon getting there she broke promises, brought the Australian Labor Party down, proved to be extremely unpopular as PM, came across as a try-hard and made the general public cringe with her excruciating, monotonous speech patterns.

Ok, you get the picture. I'm not a particularly big fan of her and I find her annoying and embarrassing. But that said, she didn't deserve the cruel comments directed towards her by radio broadcaster Alan Jones, who stated that Gillard's father, John, had died earlier this month from 'shame' thanks to the lies his daughter told.

His comments sparked controversy and there were calls for him to be sacked. Advertisers and sponsors of his station also threatened to walk away. He tried to apologise for his insensitive remarks but his efforts were deemed insincere and self-serving. He also offered to call Ms. Gillard to offer a direct apology but his request was denied.

Talk about a low blow. Gillard is not perfect by any means but this was completely unwarranted. It's one thing to express disdain for a person, but to bring their family into it, especially one that had recently passed away? Yeah, well played Alan. Way to add another shameful feather in your cap.

This isn't the first time Jones has put his foot into his sizeable mouth. First of all, he has criticised Gillard in the past, even ranting that she and Greens leader Bob Brown should be dumped into a bag and thrown out far into the ocean.
Among other things he has also been accused of defamation, made racist comments at an Australian Aborigine who was named Australian of the Year in 1993, the whole 'Cash for Comment' debacle, was charged with contempt of court on a few occasions and played a role in sparking the infamous 2005 Cronulla Race Riots.
Clearly the man has made an idiot of himself on several occasions. He's only human and no one is perfect but clearly he just doesn't learn and his latest comments about Gillard prove that.
I guess he can rest easy, though. Many people have called on him to be sacked for years but here he is, all 71 years old of him, still on the air.

I sincerely hope you learn your lesson this time and start thinking before you speak, Mr. Jones. I understand that you don't hold Ms. Gillard in the highest regard, I should know seeing as how I feel the same way, but the recent comments you made about her are unacceptable and deplorable to say the least. You crossed the line, mate. And if you're sitting there crying and wondering why she won't return your call, all I can say is that you got what you deserved. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you be willing to talk to someone who insulted you by talking smack about your deceased loved ones? I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!

Spare me your 'wisdom'

Madonna advising older women to wear age-appropriate clothing. Tiger Woods imploring all married men to be good to their wives. Kim Kardashian urging school children to study hard. You already know what to make of such advice from such people - they are meaningless and downright ridiculous.
Well, you can add to that list Australian mining billionaire Gina Rinehart. During the week she addressed so-called 'jealous people' who speak ill of the rich, advising them to stop drinking, smoking and socialising and work harder instead.
Rinehart was criticised for her comments, with Australian Treasurer Wayne Swan branding the comments an insult to Australian workers and families and Federal Health Minister Tanya Pilbersek suggesting that Rinehart should try surviving on the minimum wage (which Rinehart thinks should be lowered).

I think I speak for all honest working men and women when I say Gina, please spare us your 'wisdom'. Seriously, who are you to dictate how hard people should work when you didn't have to lift a finger to gain all of your riches. All you had to do was be Lang Hancock's daughter and heiress. Not all of us are lucky enough to have rich parents from whom we could inherit a fortune. Not all of us can make a million dollars or more sitting on our backsides twiddling our thumbs (which reminds me, Gina, and no offence, but you seriously need to address the size of yours).

And more importantly, while you do have a point that some people would be better off financially if they stopped spending so much money on booze, drugs, gambling, material goods they don't need and can't afford etc, there are people out there who work hard to provide for their families but are still struggling nonetheless. It's unfortunate but such people do exist - perhaps if you took a walk away from your mansion and out the gates of whatever snobby suburb you live the good life in you'd see and hopefully return home enlightened.  

More importantly, Gina, has it ever occurred to you that when us 'jealous' working people speak ill of your kid we are not doing so out of envy, but rather, out of contempt and derision? Not to sound cruel, but whenever people of your wealth gripe about how hard life's been treating them, we can't help but shake our heads in disbelief, if not laugh out loud. Just as you claim that  we're not working hard enough therefore have no right to complain about life, we argue that every complaint you and your kind make is an affront to people around the country and around the world that are doing it tough just to make ends meet. As far as we're concerned, you've got enough money to feed several small contries so you should have absolutely nothing to bellyache about.
Speaking of which, Gina, did you read that little corker about Employment Minister Bill Shorten moaning about how hard his life is despite the fact that he makes $330,000 a year? Wow, cue the melancholic violin music and someone lend the poor guy 50 dollars, he needs money for a sandwich! What a load of tripe!

So in closing, Gina, you can call working people a bunch of jealous whingers all you want but unless you experience how it feels to worry about paying the bills and supporting your family, I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless you want your name and reputation dragged further through the mud. Just because you're the richest woman in Australia it doesn't give you the right to tell people how to live their lives. Sure, there are people out there who need to stop slacking off but that doesn't apply to all people who are struggling. They're working very hard to put food on the table for their families, something that you're probably not so familiar with.
And please realise that no one is jealous of you. Far from it. Believe it or not, not everyone aspires to have as much money as you do. What would be the point? Sure, you can buy and own more things than the average person can but will all that money really bring you complete happiness and don't you ever become paranoid once in a while that someone might stab you in the back and take it all away?

Oh, and one more thing, and again no offence intended. We may be working hard for our money but at least most of us are on good terms with our families. All the money in the world and you can't even have that.

See? I, an average guy, can be judgemental and insensitive too!

Now, can you spare me a couple of bucks so I can get a train ticket to work in order to earn a wage to pay my next bill?