Downright irresponsible

Measles - it is a highly contagious, irritating and potentially fatal disease of the respiratory system. According to the World Health Organisation, it is 'one of the leading causes of death among young children, even though a safe and cost-effective vaccine is available.

But writer Stephanie Messenger isn't buying it.

An anti-vaccination campaigner, she is the author of an absolutely ridiculous childrens' book called Melanie's Marvellous Measles, which promotes the supposed 'health benefits' associated with contracting the disease.
At one point in the story, one of the characters, Tina, is reassured by her mother that the disease is beneficial for children, as it makes the body stronger and 'more mature' for the future. Sickeningly, Tina's mother then recommends that they go and visit Melanie so that she, too can catch the disease and that if it gets too annoying, carrot juice and melons will help.

Naturally, the Australian Medical Association (AMA) is totally against this book and doctors have called for it to be pulled off the shelves. Dr. Steve Hambleton, president of the AMA called Messenger and anyone else who approves of this tripe a bunch of 'crazies' who ought to hang their heads down in shame. He goes on to explain that Measles is fatal to children as a result of the encephalitis (swelling of the brain) and pneumonia associated with the disease.
Dr. Hambleton concedes that there can be some minor side-effects to the measles vaccine, but that it is still far better to get the vaccine than to forgo it and is still a mandatory part of a child's health.

While I am 100% against Ms. Messenger's story and think that she is an irresponsible nutcase for having the audacity to print such nonsence (that is also aimed at children to boot), I did feel compelled to do a bit of web-based research just to find out what could have possibly driven her to write this story and become such a staunch anti-vaccine campaigner. Unlike some campaigners such as movie star Jim Carrey, she seems to be against ALL vaccines whereas people like Mr. Carrey still see the importance of vaccinations against rubella, measles, mumps, whooping cough and other fatal diseases.
So I typed her name up on google and sure enough, there was a link commenting on different anti-vaccination posts she made on different forums across the internet, as well as the contents of a book that she co-authored called Vaccination Roulette (link is right here http://www.dilutedthinking.com/hln_story.php). Her crusade began when one of her children died due to a medical condition and she placed the blame on vaccination. She has since claimed that her unvaccinated children are 'alive and well' whereas her vaccinated child is not.

Unfortunately, according to the link, Ms. Messenger only arrived at this conclusion thanks to reading about the 'adverse' effects of the 'triple antigen vaccine' and watching an episode of The Phil Donaghue show back in the day in which Dr. Robert Mendelsohn (an American doctor who, strangely, criticised everything about his chosen field) appeared as a guest to speak out against vaccination.
Not only that, but she writes in her Vaccination Roulette book that her child was suspected of having a condition called Alexander Disease, which, apparently, is a genetic disease that was possibly passed to him by his father's genes. That guy, by the way, is Ms. Messenger's ex. Her other children are not from him. I guess that explains why they haven't inherited that condition.

Ms. Messenger definitely has the right to her own opinion and I guess good on her for sticking to her guns, but I wonder if she realises that a vast majority of the country believes she is crazy and that her book is the height of irresponsibility. It has medically been proven that measles is a highly-infectious and potentially deadly disease, particularly to children, yet her response to this is to come up with a childrens' book praising the supposed 'benefits' of the disease. Sorry, Ms. Messenger, but the people who labelled you 'crazy' seem to have the upper hand here.

Ok, blog's over, I'll sit back and wait for someone to come up with a book on the benefits of eating rat poison now.

Songs that drove me crazy this year.

I've made it no secret that most of the new songs that come out these days annoy the heck out of me, and this year was no different. I understand that different people have different tastes in music and therefore, what sounds irritating to some sounds beautiful to others.

But, as I've done in the past two years, I will now list the songs that I found quite irksome this year. I apologise if I've offended anyone's taste in music but please know that it is not intentional.

1. 'Live while we're young' by One Direction

You know, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the main reasons why Justin Bieber's been getting into a bit of trouble lately is because he's secretly distraught that he has lost some of his creepy fans to the 1D boys.
Anyway, sorry to digress, back to the original topic. I've not heard of these guys until this year, but apparently they've been around since late last year and the song of theirs that I am most familiar with ('What makes you beautiful') also came out last year. Anyway, I found that song to be quite cheesy and annoying and this song 'Live while we're young' is no different. Call it a clash in musical tastes but this didn't do it for me.
And the lyrics 'I know we only met but let's pretend it's love'? OUCH!!!!!!

2. 'Gangnam Style' by Psy

I didn't hate this song. Not saying that I like it but it didn't make me want to kill myself while listening to it, either. If anything I thought it was pretty catchy even if I couldn't understand half of what Psy was saying so I guess you could say that it drove me crazy in a more positive way.
And watching different parodies of the song on youtube was simply hilarious.
Just don't ask me to do the dance. I have two left feet and would struggle to do even this one.

3. 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' by Taylor Swift

Two blogs ago, I commented that Taylor Swift's 'I write songs about guys I broke up with' schtick was getting tiresome. This song pretty much convinced me of that.
Aside from the song's rather childish title, to me it lacked that 'straight-from-the-heart' feel that her previous songs had and came across as an immature rant by a stuck-up girl who thinks that all guys are lame.
And Taylor, like I said before, songs like this do more to convince listeners that perhaps you are the reason for your failed relationships rather than the guy you were seeing.

4. 'Star Ships' by Nicki Minaj

I know that this song came out last year but I didn't hear it until the beginning of this year so I will count it in my list of annoying songs for 2012.
I don't even know where to begin. The first time I heard this song on the radio, it wasn't even 1 minute old before I started to feel a shooting pain in my forehead and my eardrums start to bleed. Too loud, too garish and Minaj's delivery is absolutely ANNOYING!!!! Seriously, what's with the different voices and the weird accents? If I wanted to listen to a multi-voiced rapper I'd personally convince Robin Williams to put out a rap record. At least it would be funny rather than irritating.

Well, there you have it. Another year, more songs that made me want to smash the radio (well, at least 3 of them did).
I wonder what 2013 will bring?

Diapers are for BABIES, NOT ADULTS!!!!!!

In the two (mostly) magical years that Bernd has been churning out blogs, he has ran into some pretty weird stories that made news. From madcap celebrity antics, everyday folks committing acts that can only be described as looney tunes, sharing some stories that (hopefully) inspire, your's truly always had something weird and wonderful comment on.

The entry for this blog is no different.

According to a TV documentary that is set to screen in the UK, there are adults that are literally acting like babies, complete with wearing diapers attending fake nurseries accompanied by their spouses acting as their 'parents'. The reason? Because apparently behaving like a child takes the person back to their carefree and stress-free childhood years.

Honestly, I don't know what to say. Sure, there are times when I get so stressed and flustered that I wish that I was a kid again (to all you children out there wishing that you were 'grown up', believe me when I say that being an adult totally sucks and that you should enjoy your childhood years while you still can) but whenever that happens, I watch old TV shows that I used to enjoy, listen to songs that were popular during my younger years, read a comic book, look at the old photo albums - in other words, do things that remind me of those carefree, innocent years just to clear my head. I don't go around trying to squeeze into the clothes I used to wear as a kid, let alone behave AND dress up like a baby. I hate to sound hypercritical but that to me is the type of behaviour that warrants several sessions with a psychiatrist.

And you want to know what the sad part of this story is? Why are these peoples' spouses going through with this game? Pretending to be their other half's 'parents'!? Geez! I thought that part of being married to someone meant that you would look out for each other and make sure that your partner is well. Again, apologies for sounding cruel and judgmental, and no disrespect intended, but anyone who engages in this type of behaviour cannot possibly be all that well.

But, who knows? Maybe it's just another one of those silly 'fads' that are just coming out. Stupid, dangerous acts such as 'planking' and car-surfing became fads at some stage, why not turn disturbing behaviour into a fad? After this one, maybe we can get someone to turn behaving like a wild animal of your choice into a fad?

Seriously people, I understand that the real world can be cruel and that sometimes you just need an escape, but acting in a disturbing and weird manner is not the best way to deal with it. Read a book, watch TV, go for a walk or a run, go on a holiday....THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO COMBAT STRESS!!!!! It's no use trying to deal with it in a manner that could potentially land you behind bars - or in a padded room locked up in a strait-jacket.

 

Mate, are you serious!?

According to recent news, health workers in northern New South Wales have recently been slapped with a ban on referring to patients as 'mate', along with other terms of endearment such as 'honey', 'sweetheart' and 'darling'.

Apparently, this was a response to complaints from a few patients which prompted a request from staff to maintain a more 'professional' relationship with patients.

Ok, I will admit it now, but Big Bad Bernd gets nervous whenever he has to visit a doctor or a hospital, even when he is not a patient. I don't know why - I guess I just have trust issues seeing as how doctors are only human and therefore are capable of making mistakes and let's face it, being told that there is something wrong with you or that you'll need to be knocked out and then sliced and diced so that they can rectify whatever it is that is causing you grief is not exactly fun. Therefore, whenever I go to the doctor it would make me feel more at ease if they called me 'mate' or 'buddy' just to show that they mean well and that everything will be ok. It's a lot more comfortable than being given an ice-cold stare and a monotonous voice outlining what is wrong with you and what they are going to do to you to correct the problem. You might as well be sitting in a courtroom before a judge and told that you will be locked up for a long time or worse.

Ok, I understand that there are some people who don't take too kindly to such terms. They may find them immature or downright condescending. Therefore, don't use the term on them right away. Get to know the person first and establish some sort of rapport before you try to befriend them. That way, you'll know whether or not they want the 'friendly' doctor or the 'ice-cold' doctor.

So, to those out there who sent that memo, Bernd understands perfectly where you are coming from, but he thinks it is a little too extreme to ban all health workers from trying to be friendlier and approachable towards their patients. I'm sure that not all patients are against it, heck I'm sure that most of them quite like it. So rather than impose a ban why not just encourage them to choose their audience carefully. That seems a lot less tyrannical.

In other words, 'take it easy, mate!'

Quick take:

When Taylor Swift burst into the public eye some three years ago, I had nothing but high praise for her. It would've been an overstatement to call me a fan, but I thought she was cool. I mean, she writes songs that come from the heart, has a decent voice, loves her fans and projected a wholesome, down-to-earth image.

Unfortunately, that was then and this is now.

I don't know about you, but her whole 'I date boys, break up with them and then write songs about them' shtick is not only getting old, but it is getting quite irritating. It has gone to the point that I am starting to wonder if maybe the problem in her relationships is her and not the poor guy who is being shamed in her increasingly-annoying 'he-was-this-and-that-and-so-it-couldn't-last' songs.

Anyway, she was in the news recently over allegations that her relationship with UK boy band One Direction's Harry Styles is tearing him and his bandmates apart.
It all began when Styles ditched his bandmates to fly from New York to London on Swift's private jet. The rest of his band had to fly separately, were then mobbed by fans upon arrival at Heathrow airport (during which one of them was injured as a result of the chaos) while he and Swift arrived unnoticed and got away unharmed.
Since then, a rift has formed between Styles and his bandmates and fans are now branding Swift the new 'Yoko Ono'.

Well, what quite a turnaround for poor Taylor, isn't it? Three years ago she was the darling of the pop music genre (I'm sorry, but she never struck me as a 'country artist', she always seemed more 'pop' to me) and now, she starting to ruffle feathers. Oh boy, could she soon be headed towards the same, dreaded 'everyone's darling today, everyone's figure of hate' place in which Delta Goodrem now unhappily resides?

I guess we'll find out soon enough. Taylor, you have been warned. 

You ungrateful snob!

Back in the 90's, Melissa George was the darling of Australian TV thanks to her role as Angel Parish in Home and Away. She would go on to eventually leave the show after three successful years to try her luck in the US and well, I'd say she did quite good for herself. She appeared in the TV series Alias, Friends, Charmed and Grey's Anatomy and the films The Amityville Horror and Derailed.

Last year she appeared in the critically-acclaimed Australian drama series The Slap and is now the star of a BBC series called Hunted.

Needless to say, Australia would be proud of her. Unfortunately, a recent tirade she made prior to appearing on The Morning Show on Friday morning may have dented her reputation in the eyes of the Australian public.
When George found out that the show's hosts Larry Emdur and Kylie Gillies were planning to ask her about her stint on Home And Away, George threatened to walk out of the studio and later went on a rant about how she would rather talk about her other roles (which is understandable) before unleashing a venomous attack on the Australian media.
While George has stated that she is always happy to return and work in Australia, she might not do so in a while out of apparent fear that she will be bogged down by questions about her stint on Home And Away.
'I don't need any credibility from my country anymore! If they have nothing intelligent to say, please don't speak to me anymore. I'd rather be having a croissant and an espresso in Paris or walking my French bulldog in New York City!' she said.
She also took a shot at the show that made her famous, stating that the Home And Away execs should pay her because, as she states, 'Nobody does more promotion for that f***ing show than me!'

George and her Home And Away co-star Dieter Brummer back in the day.

Well, there you go! Talk about ungrateful and snobby! While I can somewhat sympathise with Ms. George - it does get exhausting having to always talk about what you did in the past rather than what you are doing right now - she could have conducted herself with more dignity and grace. Taking a shot at an entire country and also the show that made you!? Girl, you must be out of your mind! Way to bite the hand that fed you all those years ago.
 And taking a cheap shot at the media? You do realise that as deplorable as some of their actions are, they are the people that have the power to trash your image if they wish to do so, right?

And the fact that she would even bring up that whole 'croissant and espresso in Paris and walking the dog in New York City' line makes it even worse. What an utterly shameless display of arrogance and snobbery. We're sorry, Ms. George, that not all of us can even imagine how good it would be to hang around in those beautiful cities whenever we please. Not all of us are celebrities who appear on TV and in movies and not all of us can marry and then date a string of wealthy people (I don't want to assume you're a gold digger, but considering the types of men you're usually linked with, some people WILL get suspicious). If that kind of life is the one you'd prefer, by all means live it. But don't you shove it up our faces because quite frankly, that's just arrogant and disrespectful and most of all, NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!

I hope the next time you decide to return to your homeland you pack and extra supply of manners and grace with you, Melissa. In the meantime, enjoy your self-imposed exile, eat all the croissants you want, sip as many espressos as you can until the awful ringing of Australian accents has left your head. And don't worry, we won't be holding our breaths awaiting your return.

BECAUSE NO ONE WILL CARE.

Quick Shot: So, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have split and it was Selena who ended it. I only have three things to say about this:

1. She probably called it off because she was tired of receiving death threats from Bieber's legion of psycho fans.

2. Ok, screw the zombie apocalypse, we have something much worse on our hands - TEENAGE GIRLS ON A RAMPAGE!!!!!!!!

3. Those One Direction boys heard about this and thought, 'Oh man, there goes our 15 minutes!'

Santa Bernd?

Note: This blog was created by a very, very bored man. It is not meant to be taken seriously.

It's news that is guaranteed to make a child cry. Santa won't be coming to town this Christmas.

Ok, calm down, kiddies. He'll probably still slide down your chimneys on Christmas Eve but he'll probably be a no-show in your local shopping centre.

According to a major recruitment company that hires volunteers willing to don the red and white costume to play the big guy in department stores and shopping centres, there have been a shortage in volunteers this year and they are desparate to fill up the numbers. At last count, an estimated 50 more people are needed to fill up 600 pairs of Santa boots. Age, nationality and even gender are not an issue.
Aspiring applicants must undergo police and background checks and attend 'Santa School' before starting the job. Oh well, so much for the folks planning to imitate Billy Bob Thornton's character on that film Bad Santa.

Big Bad Bernd read this article and thought to himself, 'Hmmm.....maybe I should apply for this. I'll be making plenty of children happy and will be spreading that Christmas joy around.'
To that end yours truly sat down and compiled a list of pros and cons regarding his decision. Let's examine them now, shall we?

PROS:

1. Bernd is a funny guy:
I hate to sound conceited but, yeah, I've been told by friends and family that I'm a pretty funny guy. Yeah! Can we get a round of applause? *Crickets chirping*

Man, tough crowd! Even so, I may not have been able to get a laugh out of you, dear readers (unless my self-deprecating sence of humour worked), but I'm pretty sure I can elicit some giggles from the kids.

2. Bernd is a good boy:
Skip the police and background checks, folks, because you won't find anything on me. I'm a good boy who believes that crime and stupid behaviour doesn't pay.

3. Bernd is flexible:
No, I can't wrap my legs around my head or do the splits but when it comes to flexible working hours, I'm your man. Just let me know what hours I'll be working and I can easily schedule my daily life around it.

4. Bernd is great with kids:
I'm not patronising enough to lie to them, I can be funny without being crass and I'm generally a good sport when it comes to them. They are, after all, the future.

Ok, there are the pros. Let's go to the other end of the scale.

CONS:

1. Bernd is grumpy:
If I'm in a bad mood, I have a bad habit of letting it show sometimes. Might be too much for the kids, especially if Santa Bernd rolls his eyes at some of their wishes or tells them to shut-the-fire-truck-up when they're carrying on too much. *Sigh* so much for that part about not being crass in front of children.

2. Bernd is brutally honest and cynical:
Let's face it, some kids will make wishes that are out of this world. While Bernd would try his best to be supportive to the little tykes, he can't promise them that he won't be trying to stifle his laughter or cynicism upon hearing some wishes. Let's say a kid told him 'Santa, I wish I could fly'. Bernd would probably nod his head while tears leak from his eyes due to the strain of trying hard not to laugh.
And (no disrespect to anyone out there) if a chubby kid were to sit on his lap and wish to be thinner, Bernd might accidentally say something like 'Then why don't you get up and move it, fatso!' Yeah, not pretty isn't it?
And if a kid makes a wish like bringing a loved one back from the dead....wow. Let's not even go there.
And if a kid makes a wish that is selfish or despicable (ie: bringing harm onto someone they don't like or wishing for all the money in the world), or worse, tells him that he's not the real Santa, Bernd just might get the ol' heave-ho from the store's staff for making a kid cry.

3. Bernd is vertically challenged:
I don't know if there is a height requirement in the job description but considering that some children grow fairly quickly nowadays, he could find himself being mistaken for one of Santa's elves who decided to try on Santa's suit.

4. Bernd is a skinny man:
The last time Bernd went to Munich for the Oktoberfest, he decided to get himself a lederhosen to fit in with the locals. He was gently told that he was too short and thin to fill one out. A Santa suit would be no different. Unless the store folks are willing to get him a fat suit, he would be absolutely miscast as the 'jolly fat man in red'.

5. Bernd doesn't always feel comfortable being poked, prodded and hugged by children:
Ok, this doesn't apply to all kids. They're cool peeps and Bernd is more than happy to get a hug from them if they ask politely and if their parents are ok with it.
But I will say that if a kid decided he/she wanted to poke Bernd in the face, pull on his beard, play with his fake belly it might get tiring after a while.
And if a kid who had just licked their hands decided they wanted to touch Bernd - that would be too much. Santa Bernd would probably leap out of that chair and run away screaming like a cat on fire. YECH!!!!!!

Well, I think we've covered it all. As you can see, Bernd is probably not the best choice to play Saint Nick, but he still wishes the recruitment companies, department stores and of course, all the little kiddies all the best.

Some folks just have no shame

A few days ago, US rapper Soulja Boy was forced to apologise to his fans on Tumblr after posting a picture of his naked penis on his account.
He claimed that he had 'accidentally' posted the offending picture and quickly took it down once he realised what he had done. Unfortunately, some of his fans saw the photo before he removed it.
Thus, he was forced to apologise, simply posting 'I apologise to ever seen that, accident'.

Yes, that was the apology. Bad grammar and all.

Soulja Boy

Forgive me for coming across as a cynical and judgemental jerk, but how the hell do you ACCIDENTALLY post a picture of your bits on the internet, let alone take your time in realising the error of your ways long enough for your followers to admire (or perhaps be sickened by) your handiwork? I understand that maybe he intended to send the photo privately to a girl he's dating but then inadvertently posted it publicly for all to see and then left the computer before realising what he did. Yeah, that sounds like an honest, though highly unfortunate mistake.
But still, when you post something on your account in your preferred social networking site, you'd make sure that you're not setting yourself up to look foolish and if you're uploading photos, that the CORRECT photos are being uploaded. It does pay to revise before you post, people.

And as for Soulja Boy, for a guy who's had a history of taking photos of his erections and posting them on social media for his female fans' pleasures (this guy should really change his pseudonym to 'Shameless Boy' or, more appropriately, 'Dickhead'), his excuse that he made an accident seems futile. I was more inclined to believe that he had every intention of posting the picture but only took it down when someone reminded him that he could get in big trouble for it. Well, accident or not, I hope Mr. Boy realises from here on out that one must always think before they post on social media. Making the wrong post not only opens the poor sap into a world of ridicule, but can get them into serious trouble.
Unfortunately, considering that he has angered some of his fellow hip hop artists and the US military with his profane song lyrics and immature behaviour, I don't think he'll learn his lesson in a hurry.   

In other news, a 23-year old man, identified as Jeremy Owens, was arrested after flashing his breast implants at fellow customers at a Walmart store in Pennsylvania. He tried to flee by boarding a bus but was dragged out kicking, screaming and spitting. He was allegedly intoxicated and was charged with aggrevated assault, drug possession, making terrorist threats and public drunkenness.

Inexplicably, he wasn't charged for indecent exposure.

Jeremy Owens

Ok, judging by the looks of this guy, he is probably thinking of undergoing a sex change. In my honest opinion, he looks like a cross between Robert Pattinson and Jennifer Lawrence with a bit of Ke$ha thrown in. I guess he had too much to drink and decided that he wanted to show the whole world a preview of 'the new Jeremy' (or whatever girls' name he intends to re-christen himself with once the surgery is complete). But that's just my opinion - and I sincerely hope that is the reason why he decided to get implants done in the first place!

Well, that's about it. Short and sweet. It is funny seeing the things that people do to get attention. But seriously, while pushing the envelope once in a while is all good, you have to make sure that you can get out of it with your reputation and dignity intact. It only takes one costly mistake to render your image forever damaged. People can and will associate you with your blunder for a long time.

But at the end of the day, some folks just have no shame.