Geez Louise, There's Nothing To Worry About!!!!!

Arnold Schwarzenegger, currently trying to revive his acting career, revealed in a recent interview that his parents were not very supportive about his training and bodybuilding when he was young.
His father once told him that it was a useless pursuit since he was putting his body through hell purely for vanity reasons and that he was better off using his body for more useful purposes such as chopping wood and shovelling coal.
His mother on the other hand feared that her son had become a homosexual in his teens since he had posters of bodybuilders on his bedroom wall when in fact, he just admired these men and aspired to be like them, if not better.
Well, Arnie would go on to become a decorated bodybuilder, a successful actor and a politician. Quite an achievement. Well done, man!

Anyway, the reason why I brought this up is because to some degree, I can relate to him. No, my parents never questioned my sexuality but there have been times when they were concerned about my training. I will admit, I am a gym junkie and I work out for one and a half hours, five to six days a week - and I push myself pretty hard and believe in the saying 'no pain, no gain'. I'm not as pumped as Schwarzenegger (and I never will be) but modesty aside, I am pretty muscular and don't have much fat on me.
Not bad, huh? But there have been times when I copped it from my parents. Nothing too serious, just a few times where my mother would tell me that I'm getting 'too skinny' and that I need more meat on my bones and my father telling me that I must be anorexic since I don't eat quite like I used to when I was younger.

I don't normally take it too personally but I will admit there are times when I roll my eyes at such remarks. I understand now why they were concerned about the number of hours I played video games when I was a kid but getting worried about me keeping fit? Considering that I've never injured or seriously hurt myself while training hard and that my fitness and strength has allowed me to help them out with some strenuous house and yard work it does boggle my mind a little listening to them telling me to slow down.

But you know, I understand where they're coming from. It's natural for parents to be concerned for their children and well, I do push myself hard while training. I do believe in the saying 'no pain, no gain' and if I wake up one morning without some form of muscle pain, I get mildly disappointed (yeah, I'm a masochist aren't I?). But sometimes I just want to tell them 'Geez Louise, there's nothing to worry about!!!!' Knock on wood, but unless I seriously injure myself during a session or suddenly stop eating period, I don't think anyone should be worried - especially since it's my body.

When idiots show off

You hear many stories of people needlessly injuring themselves or somtimes even killing themselves just because they were trying some new and extremely stupid way to amuse themselves and their friends. Well, you can add Darwin man Alex Bowden to that list.

While entertaining some friends visiting from Queensland at a house party, Mr. Bonehead (oops, I meant Bowden) decided to set off a few firecrackers. Sounds fine, but then he took it a step further and decided to place one on his butt crack. His friend lit the fuse.
Naturally, the outcome was catastrophic for poor Alex. The firecracker burned his buttocks and several fingers on his right hand as he tried to put the darn thing out. He is now in hospital being treated for his humiliating wounds and probably his wrecked ego.
To add insult to injury his friends and his mother thought the whole thing was funny.

With alcohol-fuelled violence in Sydney frequently making news headlines (aside from the London Games, The Dark Knight Massacre and Julia Gillard's latest blunder) it's very easy to forget about the instances of alcohol-fuelled stupidity that still goes on around the country. Bowden himself stated from his hospital bed that he and his friends had a few beers, decided to set off some firecrackers and then he, in his own words, 'put one in my arse'. Did he seriously expect to come out of that stunt unscathed? It goes without saying that shoving explosives up your backside is not a wise thing to do and that the repercussions are disastrous AND embarrassing. Trying to purchase a porno magazine at a local newsagent and then presenting your order to a female cashier is nothing compared to the level of humiliation that such stupid acts like this yields.

To be fair to Mr. Bowden, if trying to entertain his friends and leave them on the floor paralysed with laughter was his goal, well then mission accomplished even if it meant that his friends were laughing AT him rather than laughing WITH him. Which reminds me, someone should tell this guy to re-evaluate the types of people that he considers 'friends'. Friends don't let friends shove explosives up their butt, whether they're drunk or not. What's next? They're going to ask Mr. Bowden to test his tolerance for pain by jumping into an empty swimming pool full of thumb tacks naked, just as Weird Al Yankovic sang in one of his songs? Yech!!!!   

Some people out there would go to great lengths to entertain their friends and well, you have to admire them for that. It's great that they've got that desire to please the people that they love most. But resorting to silly stunts that are potentially harmful and/or deadly is not the way to go. The goal is to have people laughing with you, not at you, and definitely not to have them panicking over your damaged form. Besides, that is one good way to permanently trash your personal image and ego.

It's just not worth it.

Sour Grapes

Ye Shiwen.

Better remember the name, people, because if this 16-year old swimmer's recent Gold medal-winning performance in the women's 400m individual medley during the London Olympics last Saturday night are anything to go by, her name will be popping up in many more Olympic games to come, barring any sudden retirements, loss of form, injuries etc.

She apparently swam a section of her race faster than US swimming stars Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps (he of the eye-popping eight gold medal haul in the 2008 Beijing Olympics and legendary diet plan). Not only did she break defending champion Stephanie Rice's world record, but she did so more than a second quicker than Rice's previous best.
During the freestyle leg of the race she clocked in at 25.75 seconds - putting Michael Phelps' own freestyle time during his own individual medley race to shame.
Lochte was clearly impressed with the teenager, stating that she had what it took to beat him in a race. Lochte's mentor, US swimming team coach Gregg Troy hailed her performance as 'a heck of a swim'.

Clearly, a star in the pool was born last weekend. But when I read an article on the internet about it, the headline and the last few lines made me roll my eyes. The article was titled Swim Starlet Sets Off Chinese Whispers and towards the article's conclusion was the mention of China's drug-tainted past when it came to swimming.
The writer, Steve Larkin, is from the Australian Associated Press. I hate to point fingers but to me, he seems bitter that Rice (who is Australian) was beaten by a youngster in her pet event. Don't take my word for it, the comments generated by the article were a mixture of support for Shiwen (some users lambasted the article, claiming that it reeked of sour grapes, childish accusations and to some degree, racism) and people who are adamant that Shiwen wasn 'on the juice'. Some readers also slammed the Australian media and public in general, calling them narrow-minded sore losers who try to come up with excuses to justify our athletes' losses and show total disrespect towards winners from other nations.

Me personally, I say congratulations to Ye Shiwen on an impressive, gold medal-worthy performance, even if it came at the expense of my fellow Aussie in Stephanie Rice, and unless something comes out, I am not going to sit here and accuse her of being 'roided up'. Why throw such heinous accusations without any proof to back it up? To his credit, Larkin also mentioned that in the 2010 Asian Games, Shiwen blitzed the same event some two seconds faster than Rice managed in last Saturday's swim so he does recognise the fact that she really is talented, rather than some roid head who can't perform without her precious drugs. Still, the headline of his article and adding in that ugly factoid about Chinese swimmers doesn't let him off the hook that easily.

Yes, it does suck to see your compatriot lose during the Olympics but it's still the early stages, people. There are still plenty of opportunities for your respective nations to strike gold. Even Rice herself vowed to put this loss behind her and move on. Let's do the same, and in the meantime take our hats off to a deserved winner.

Get out there and play - it's that simple!

According to a study by the University of Sydney, up to 70 percent of children from New South Wales are unable to run, throw, catch or kick a ball properly, skills that should have become routine by the time a child has turned seven years old, regardless of their athletic prowess.
Naturally, these shocking facts painted a bleak picture for Australia's future sports stars and indicates that more and more children are going to most likely grow up overweight or obese. Dr. Louise Hardy, who led the report, blamed this on the lack of PE teachers in primary schools and the growing number of parents who can't be bothered kicking a ball around with their kids.

Being a fitness-oriented person, I found this story shocking to say the least. When I was young, just about every kid knew how to throw, catch and kick a ball, whether they were athletes or not. Even the kid who was picked last for team sports mastered those skills. I was quite chubby and unfit when I was young and I had no problem performing skills, though the results were often unimpressive.

I have to disagree, however, with Dr. Hardy's view that the lack of PE teachers in primary schools are one of the key reasons for this development. When I was a kid, and all due respect to my teachers (I wouldn't say I enjoyed school, but I will admit that all but one of my teachers during my primary school years were excellent at what they did), but I wouldn't say that any of them even came close to being a PE teacher. But that said, they had no problems teaching us how to master those basic skills needed to play sports and be active. It doesn't take a 'PE teacher' to show kids how to play ball. If their parents won't teach them then you, teacher, should do it. It's not that hard.

Scientists and health experts have banged on repeatedly about how ancient humans would have beaten us 'modern' people in any physical endeavour based on the differences in levels of activity between the two, and now the same has to be said about children from this generation and from those of generations past. An average kid from ten or twenty years ago would most likely beat an average kid from today in most sports simply because they've learned the basic motor skills needed to run, throw, catch and kick properly. Time to get out and play, kids. Put down whatever it is that is keeping you on the couch and preventing you from becoming the very best you can be physically, pick up a ball, invite some of your friends and family and have a lovely game outside. Who knows? You just might grow up to become Australia's next sporting hero, inspiring other kids to get active.

F is for 'Fail' - and 'Fake'

On March 23 this year, I posted a blog about the impending return of reality TV series Big Brother on Australian TV screens (which will happen some time after the Olympics) and in the blog I also wrote briefly about a then-upcoming reality show called The Shire which, apparently, was supposed to be Australia's answer to the US series Jersey Shore. I wrote that it was likely going to be a train-wreck featuring a bunch of try-hards, idiots and fake personalities, would make viewers question their sanity, would make a laughing stock out of the Sutherland Shire area and would attract critics from all angles.
Interestingly, when comparing Big Brother and The Shire I recommended that viewers go with the latter, simply because Big Brother is always guaranteed to be a virtual repeat (if not a worse version) of the previous season whereas The Shire was something new.

Well, The Shire is currently on the airwaves and just as good ol' Bernd predicted, it was an absolute train-wreck, triggering the kind of wide-ranging backlash that hasn't been seen since Julia Gillard unleashed the Carbon Tax and Kraft released the isnack2.0 (later renamed Cheesybite). I didn't watch it myself but based on what I read in news reports and friends' posts on facebook thank God that I was smart enough not to, all due respect to anyone who did. I read people called the show 'crap', 'rubbish', 'drivel', 'piece of shit' and of course, the oft-used 'The Shite'.
Meanwhile, media outlets and news reports wrote about the show in a mainly negative light. They commented that the show made a mockery of its setting and criticised the cast for their fake, shallow personalities, for portraying negative stereotypes and even some of the girls for their fake body parts. The show's creators were shamed and facebook groups have been set up petitioning for the show's cancellation.

The Sutherland Shire's mayor Carol Provan was especially harsh in her criticism of the show, particularly towards the female characters whom she branded as 'tarts' and even took a shot at the Sydney suburb that two of the show's more notorious cast members originally came from. Speaking of which, as it turns out at least seven of the show's main characters (including over-tanned, surgically-enhanced bimbos Vernessa and Sophie, the show's two most notorious characters) don't even live or work in the Shire area. However, channel 10's programming boss David Mott stated that as long as cast members were willing to 'live, work and play in The Shire' (ie: be a part of the show), then they were ok.
But which ever way you look at it, the show was deemed a massive fail for the Ten network and appalled many, particularly angry and embarrassed locals whose community are still trying to shake off the negative image cast by the 2005 Cronulla Race Riots.

Sophie and Vernessa

Ok, I hate to sound like an insensitive jerk, I can only imagine how many viewers are hurting right now for losing 30 precious minutes that they'll never recover, but to the viewers who are complaining about having their life, time and energy wasted, what the hell did you expect? When TV shows try to imitate another they usually fail (the US version of The Office turned out to be a success so I guess there are exceptions to the rule) and a show that tries to imitate one already known for trashiness and controversy is all but guaranteed to be a prize stinker. You should have known that before you flicked onto channel 10 at 8pm on Monday night.
Yes, it's ok to vent about how bad the show was and how angry you were for watching - I would have done exactly the same if I did, but in the end it was your own fault for getting fooled into watching it in the first place and not having the guts to switch channels or switch off the TV when the show got worse. Just saying.

As for the people lamenting that Australian TV has come to this, keep your chins up. Judging by the criticism that this show is getting, I'd imagine that it will be axed pretty soon, if not only last for one short season. If Yasmin's show can get axed before she could find her groom I'm sure a bunch of fake, shallow try-hards can be given the heave-ho before the party's over.

Well, that's about it. The people of the Sutherland Shire area have something new to be embarrassed about, a bunch of viewers have been left angry and in utter disbelief and God forbid but if this show was to be broadcast in other parts of the world (good God, I hope that hasn't happened yet!) it would make the good people of Australia look like fools.n Well played, creators and channel 10.

For all that, Bernd gives you an F for Fail - and Fake.

Some people are just too damn sensitive

Okay, people, admit it, there has got to be at least one or two people in your life who gets emotional over the slightest things. Whether it's one (or both) of your parents, your sibling, a friend, a relative or worse, you yourself, there's always that someone who makes a big deal out of silly little trivial things.

You've seen these people in action. When someone accidentally spills a drink on the carpet they go ballistic. When someone is two seconds late for a meeting of some form they blow their lids. When they have to pay an extra five cents for something they go off as though they've lost 90% of their bank account. I could go on all day but you get the picture.

Anyway, for those of you who roll your eyes when these people you know throw a hissy fit over little things (ok, I'm guilty of doing the same. There, I said it), please spare a thought for the 47-year old American man who received a nasty death threat from his cantankerous 72-year old neighbour who threatened to shoot him for.....wait for it......farting. Yes, farting!!!!

Apparently, somewhere in the US the man walked past his neighbour's apartment door and let one rip. The neighbour, who apparently has an intense dislike for anything to do with flatulence confronted the unfortunate soul in the lobby and allegedly told him 'I'm going to put a bullet in your head!' He has since been arrested for making the threat.

Well, what can I say? I understand that breaking wind in the company of others is rude and embarrassing (although let's face it, it's also funny as hell) but is it really something you would threaten someone with bodily harm and/or death with? Seriously, someone should tell this old-timer to chill out! So what if your neighbour had the audacity to release a mixture of gases from his rectum (something that ALL human beings do and is beneficial to one's health) as he walked past your door? It's not like anyone was around to smell it and it's not like he directed it towards your face! But hey, what can you do? This old guy seems like one of those hypersensitive people we discussed earlier. While some people get worked up about schedules, lost items, forgotten tasks and getting things wrong, others like this bloke get worked up about bodily functions that make a funny sound and leave a nasty smell.

I am not advocating for people to break wind whenever and wherever they damn well feel like it. Sure, it's a normal thing but at the end of the day, farting around people and (especially) in closed spaces is seen as offensive and can make a laughing stock out of you. But is it really something for one to get so worked up about that the person who dealt it /supplied it/ fluffed it must be punished with threats of bodily harm or even death? Is the simple act of releasing bodily gas tantamount to stealing something, cheating on a partner or spouse, murdering a family member or any other act that results in death threats directed at the guilty person?

Seriously, some people are just too damn sensitive!

Look but don't touch....or you might get counselled!

Throughout my school years, from primary school to high school, students were made aware of the 'hands off' policy (also known as the 'keep your hands to yourself' policy) quite early. Us students were banned from hitting, shoving and grabbing each other in a violent manner and it was hoped that such a policy would dissuade bullying. For the most part it seemed to work. During my school years I never really heard of many serious fights happening. Sure, I've seen students break the rule and get into a mini shoving match with each other (usually the result of verbal arguments gone wrong) and there were a couple of serious fights that might have erupted from time to time but I can count on one hand the number of times I've heard of such scuffles occurring - unless many more happened but I couldn't be bothered snapping out of my classroom boredom-induced daydream to notice but I digress.

Today, I read a newspaper story that looked at a primary school in victoria that took this policy to the extreme. Here, students are literally banned from ever touching each other. In addition to acts of physical harm, students are banned from totally harmless and friendly gestures such as hugging, playing tag or touch football, back-patting and even giving high fives. Yeah, sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Students who are caught breaking this rule would be treated to 'counselling sessions' (a counselling session that lectures students on the dangers of high-fiving each other? Yeah, sounds intense!) and the school's principal stated that the policy would discourage students from engaging in rough play with each other.

All due respect to the principal, but I am taking sides with the parents and child psychologists who are labelling this rule as unreasonable, over-the-top and just plain ridiculous. Back in my day, we were allowed to high five, play sport, back-slap and even play-fight with each other as long as it didn't get out of hand and anyone guilty of punching or kicking another student (ie: someone who violated the 'hands off' policy) were punished. I didn't hear of any dumb rule that prohibited students from laying a pinky on each other. All due respect but this principal sounds as though they are too lazy to take care of problem students and so they took the easy way out and implemented a silly rule that, in their mind, would be a fail-proof means of putting an end to bullying.

But did it not occur to them that it would be damn near impossible to not accidentally touch another person? Would students be punished if they accidentally brushed against someone else when they were walking? Would they be punished for helping a student up if they tripped over? Would they be punished for putting a calming arm around a friend when they were distressed? Hang on, SOMEONE DID GET PUNISHED FOR THAT ONE!!!! Well played, principal. Way to punish an obvious bad seed that had the audacity to break your precious, oh-so-reasonable rule.

Seriously, I've heard of setting rules and boundaries for school children but this one is out of this world. While I am all for prohibiting students from pummelling each other, putting up a silly rule that is, quite frankly, impossible to obey is not only unreasonable, but it makes the school itself look bad. To the principal of that school, I have refrained myself from naming and shaming you, so I hope you don't put me in detention for writing this blog.

Oops! I accidentally tapped my friend on the shoulder. Oh rats! Here comes the counselling....