Foot in the mouth disease

Whether you love him or loathe him, FIFA boss Joseph 'Sepp' Blatter remains one of football's most entertaining characters, even if it is mostly for the wrong reasons.
During his 13-years on the job, Blatter has been embroiled in controversies, allegations of corruption and general idiot behaviour. Some of his blunders were the result of his big mouth and recently, it landed him in hot water yet again. A few days ago, and with the English Premier League still reeling from two recent controversies regarding racism, the great man himself claimed that any footballer who is racially abused on the pitch by another should shake hands with the perpetrator at the final whistle. The timing of his faux pas was priceless - it apparently came on the day that Liverpool FC striker Luis Suarez was charged with racially abusing Manchester United defender Patrice Evra (who is black) and just weeks after Chelsea FC defender and captain John Terry was accused of making racist comments at Queens Park Rangers FC defender Anton Ferdinand (who is also black).

Blatter's comments drew heavy criticism, particularly from footballers. Ferdinand's brother, Manchester United player Rio Ferdinand took to twitter to voice his disbelief, calling Blatter's comments 'condescending' and 'laughable', before going on to claim that football's anti-racist stance was a fake. Los Angeles Galaxy player David Beckham accused Blatter of taking a half-hearted approach to the issue and, after Blatter was forced to apologise for his comments, former footballer Sol Campbell made it clear that Blatter's actions were unforgivable and that he should 'do the honourable thing and step down' as FIFA president.

Clearly, Blatter is a man who has fallen prey to the old 'foot in the mouth disease' once too often. I'm surprised he hasn't been given a Foot In Mouth Award or, worse a Golden Bull Award by the Plain English Campaign. This is the same man whose past gaffes include unsavoury comments about gay people in regards to the 2022 World Cup, declared that female footballers should wear tighter shorts to increase the popularity of women's football and, much to the chagrin of female football fans, implemented the rule that players who remove their shirts during goal celebrations (or celebrated too wildly) were to be booked. Throw in allegations of corruption and you have a rapsheet that is sure to be longer and more embarrassing than Lindsay Lohan's.

It's long been the bane of human society, this foot-in-the-mouth tendency. Sometimes we say things that we think is funny or light-hearted when in reality it is the complete opposite. Other times we just say things that we think make us look smart but end up having the opposite effect. A good example of these include trying to cheer people up during a difficult period by trying to put a positive spin on the situation - and coming across as an insensitive jerk instead. Another example is saying something out loud just because you believe it will make you look intelligent but instead coming across as being the total opposite. You've seen it before, where people comment on something that is making news or try to make an intellectual statement only to misuse a word, come off as arrogant and insensitive or get their facts wrong. Remember Justin Bieber's Rolling Stone interview earlier this year in which he inadvertently came across as condescending when commenting on homosexuals, abortion and rape?

And then there are those who say something to insult or correct someone only to end up offending someone else. A good example of this is the Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice, whose current boyfriend is Australian rugby union player Quade Cooper. After watching a rugby union match in September 2010 in which Australia defeated South Africa, she took to Twitter to congratulate the Australian team and taunt the opposition. Unfortunately, she ended up putting the proverbial foot in her mouth instead. Her tweet that day read 'suck on that, f****ts!!!!!' Those four little words got her into big trouble, with one of her sponsors, Jaguar, severing ties with her and many people calling her classless and bigoted. She was forced to make a public apology. Exuberance can indeed be a hindrance at times, clouding our judgement and inflating our confidence. The result can be an increased chance of getting one's self into trouble.


Then there are those who try to flatter people with their compliments but end up insulting them instead. For example, telling someone that they look 'amazing' or 'youthful' for a person of their age. While it definitely serves as a compliment, the recipient might interpret that as your way of saying 'You're an old fart but at least you still look hot'. Same goes with someone's appearance, for example telling them 'Wow!!!! You've lost weight!' The other person might think 'So what? You thought I was a fat pig?' The worse would be trying to compliment someone's personal achievement only to offend them instead. Merely congratulating them would be enough, but sometimes telling them things like 'You proved me wrong' or 'That was unexpected, well done!' can be taken the wrong way.
As it turns out even if you have something nice to say, sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut. Talk about a good deed wasted.

So where does Mr. Blatter's blunder fall under? In a way it falls under all categories. His comments came across as condescending and insensitive to anyone who has been racially abused and while it was his intention to come up with a remedy to a serious issue that would be fair to all parties he ended up insulting others instead. I guess the moral lesson of the story is to think before you speak. People tend to be mighty sensitive these days and so even the most complimentary comments could be misinterpreted and taken as an insult. So even if you have something nice or insightful to say, think before you speak.

Time to think with your BRAIN!!!!!!

According to a recent US and UK study regarding internet users, men are far more likely to fall for social networking scams than women.
The study found that on sites such as Facebook, men are more likely to accept a friend request from strangers, especially from a user whose profile picture shows a sexy, scantily-clad woman. Unfortunately, this would then lead to access to personal information and it doesn't help that men are more likely to announce their location, have a relaxed approach towards privacy settings and leave their account open for all to view.

As a guy, I think I speak for all men when I say that our confidence levels and egos go through the roof whenever an attractive female wants to talk to us and it sometimes comes at the expense of our common sense. You know how it is, you get approached by a good-looking girl, she asks you if you'd like to hook up and immediately you think 'Jackpot, baby!' and throw all caution into the wind. It's the same with social networking sites. A female user with an attractive profile pic wants to be your friend and you think 'Oh, hell yeah!' without considering whether or not the profile is legitimate. You don't stop to think this user could be a serial killer or an identity thief posing as an attractive woman to gain your attention, and then before you know it, they've either stolen your identity or tracked you down (thanks to your tendency to advertise your whereabouts and your lax approach to privacy settings) and killed you.

I guess this article makes men look like a bunch of idiots, but in our defence it's just something that we're born with. In the wild, the male of every species have several roles (ie: To hunt, gather, provide, protect etc) but their main purpose is to find a female to procreate with. People are no different, hence why men are always checking out other women regardless of their marital status. Us guys provide for and protect the family and we're expected to get married and have children. Sure, civilisation frowns upon the idea of a man cheating on his wife or partner but in the wild, animals are rarely monogamous. Most of them have children with one female then move on to the next. Any man who tells you that such urges never crossed their mind is lying to you. The way I see it, we all have that urge but some of us are better at controlling it than others. Society just wants us to control our natural urges because that's pretty much what separates us humans from beasts. Hence why women often refer to men as 'animals' and 'beasts' and worse, 'neanderthals' whenever we act up. I guess it also explains why men tend to break things, chew with their mouths open, get into fights, forget to clean up after themselves and not bother making themselves presentable unless it is absolutely necessary.

Time to start thinking with your brains, guys. When it comes to social networking, you can't afford to get too reckless. Just because some user with an irresistible profile picture wants to be your friend doesn't mean you have to add them right away. If you have never heard of this person until now, have no mutual friends or interests in common and/or if they don't have many friends to begin with, don't just accept their request right there on the spot. And if upon accepting them you find that their profile and activity looks suspicious, unfriend them right away! Better to be safe than sorry, guys.

And if you are currently in a relationship and are still doing this, you'd better hope to God your significant other doesn't find out, for it must be noted that in the wild, the female of the species can be much more deadly than the male!

It all comes down to you

Before I get this blog underway, I just want to say that I will not dedicate an entire blog on the big drama that is Kim Kardashian. Firstly, too many things have already been written about her and her divorce and so I'd pretty much sound like someone else and second of all, for anyone wondering why I didn't write a 'Saving Kim'-style blog, it's because to be honest she doesn't need saving. The woman made around $18 million from her wedding to basketball player Kris Humphries and allegedly the couple earned around $250,000 for every day that they were married. I'm guessing that she'll probably make more money from this divorce and still commands a generous sum from store and social appearances and any business ventures and endorsements that has her name on it. So even if the public stop caring much about her and she fades away from our consciousness (as it did her former 'bestie' Paris Hilton), she won't be missing anything other than more chances to hog headlines and attention. Hence, she doesn't need any of my help.

Ok, now that I've got that out of the way, I'd first like to share a recent article I read in the paper. According to studies conducted by the University Of Queensland School of Psychology, people who played violent video games, particularly fighting games, did so at the risk of losing their empathy. The study involved 144 participants who first played the game Mortal Kombat and then played a tennis game. They were then asked to rate their own empathy after playing. The participants admitted that they felt 'dehumanised' after playing Mortal Kombat and so the study concluded that prolonged playing of such games could turn people into violent, aggressive, unfeeling people, since these players would eventually begin to relate to these characters.

Like most guys, I too was a huge fan of violent games. I loved the Street Fighter series (which isn't exactly gory and violent, but still a fighting game nonetheless), played Mortal Kombat a fair bit and was an absolute fan of first-person shooters. I played them from hours on end. I will admit now that those feelings of coldness and extreme aggression has crossed my mind but you know what? I've never used it on anyone. I've never killed, maimed or seriously injured anyone because I know that it's not the right thing to do.

I wrote a blog a few months ago about taking things too literally, and I think the same could be applied here. I was taught from an early age the difference between right and wrong, as well as the fact that one shouldn't take everything they see and hear on TV, radio, video games and all that too literally. While I enjoyed playing these violent games, I also knew that I shouldn't try to re-enact what I saw on the game screen for real. Seriously, I get quite annoyed when 'experts' try to blame video games, movies, music and all that for rising crime rates and anti-social behaviour. Sure, they CAN contribute but it really comes down to the individuals themselves. Are they smart enough to not imitate everything that they see and hear? Or are they dumb enough to take it to heart and get themselves into trouble? My parents also made sure that I didn't play these games until I was old enough to do so. That way I could play them and not allow myself to take things to heart.

So while it's true that excessive playing of violent games can contribute to monstrous behaviour, I don't think these games should be to blame for turning people into monsters. Such a thought makes non-violent fans of these games look bad and could potentially lead to a ban in these games - which could lead to more than a few fans becoming murderous! People just need to know the difference between right and wrong and be smart enough not to take everything you see and hear too literally. Seriously, people, it all comes down to you.

The high price of idiocy

Seriously, as I read the following story in the newspaper this week my mind was caught somewhere in between sadness and sheer disbelief. Sure, there are some people (mostly younger ones, unfortunately) who would do just about anything in the name of 'thrillseeking', even if it meant putting their lives in danger but this was something else.

A 15-year old schoolgirl from the US, Abigail Corthals, was found dead in her bedroom with a belt tied around her neck. Apparently, she was just one of many US teens participating in a deadly new 'choking game' (called 'black-out' or 'knock-out' among participants) in which players would attempt to asphyxiate each other, or themselves to get a 'high' from lack of oxygen. The game started as an internet fad in the US but has begun to spread and many participants have lost their lives.
Corthals' parents initially thought she had committed suicide but text messages in her phone and in her MSN account indicated that she was playing the game.

I hate to sound disrespectful towards Abigail and her grieving parents, but seriously, this is not a tragedy, this is pure stupidity. Gambling with your life in the name of fun? What kind of game is that? You might as well be playing Russian Roulette or attempting to swim in piranha-infested waters with a cut on your knee. The sad part is, there is no real glory to be achieved in playing this game. Just a temporary high and the possibility of a needless death. Abigail certainly paid the high price for her actions. As have countless others caught up in this dumb fad. Well played, guys.

Abigail's parents were aware of this fad and had warned their daughter not to partake in such a 'stupid' activity. However, they weren't aware of her participation on the night she died. According to her father, she was in her room, with the door open, and he assumed that she was probably talking to a friend online and nothing more. Also, a message in her MSN showed that Abigail was starting to feel unwell and wanted to pull out of the competition, but somehow she ended up playing on and paying the ultimate price for doing so. What a waste.

Time to use your common sense, people. It doesn't take a genius to know that when you choose to play 'games' like this you risk killing yourself. And for what? Just so you can say 'look at me! I cheated death! I'm so hardcore!' You want to be hardcore? Try running a marathon. Surf a giant wave. Survive a boxing match. Go bungee jumping, skydiving or anything of the sort. Heck, have the guts to stand in the middle of a busy area and recite a famous speech at the top of your voice. Losing your life thanks to some dangerous activity made famous on the internet is a pretty stupid way to go, and I doubt you'd want that to be mentioned in your obituary.

Another day, another bit of weird news

When I was a kid, my parents knew just what to do whenever I misbehaved. I was a video game addict back then and so the solution was simple: No video games until I cleaned up my act. It worked perfectly. The idea of not being allowed to play scared the bejesus out of me and so right then and there I agreed to stop being a pain.
When I really screwed up, the punishment was a light spank on the hand or on the bottom - in addition to no gaming or TV. No, the slap wasn't hard and I would've had to have done something REALLY bad for it to happen, but I got the message loud and clear.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are simple ways to discipline a child without having to go through extremes. Just make sure it's subtle but also messes with their favoured daily routine. The same cannot be said of one particular guy who made the news some time this week.

Fremon Seay, a 38-year old man from Washington in the US got annoyed with his teenage daughter and, rather than lay down the law the conventional way he decided that an old fashioned, medieval-style joust was the best option. Yes, you read that right, a medieval joust. He forced her to put on body armour, carry a shield and a wooden sword and square off against him in a duel. Somehow she agreed but eventually lost the duel. That wasn't enough for Fremon. He continued to beat his daughter while she was down, eventually bruising her head, arms and legs. Throughout all this his wife Julie stood in the background, encouraging Fremon to 'beat the smirk' off their daughter's face. Fremon was soon arrested and charged with second-degree assault while Julie was charged with being an accessory.

Another day, another idiot gets charged for a crime that can only be described as insane. You have to wonder, how on earth did Fremon ever convince a teenage girl to put on a ridiculous costume and fight him all in the name of discipline? Aren't teenage girls supposed to be rebels who would never wear something that makes them look silly? I could only imagine he probably bribed her into fighting him by threatening to show unflattering photos of herself to her friends, maybe taking away her phone and/or internet privileges, threatening to make her curfew earlier etc. If he did any of those, any one of them should be enough punishment. I'm pretty sure most of those would be enough to drive a teenager nuts and set them straight. Fremon could have left it at that but instead he had to take it to the next level and render his daughter bruised and battered and be arrested for his troubles. Well played, Fremon!

I guess we can only hope that Freyon deals with his current predicament just fine. Getting charged with second-degree assault for beating your own daughter up is bad. Getting charged with second-degree assault for beating your own daughter up while wearing a silly costume is worse. And all because he wanted to show his daughter who was boss. Will she ever respect him again after this?

Disgusting to some, beauty to others

Bad body odour is easily one of the most repulsive things human beings have to put up with from time to time. We've all been there. You're sitting on a bus or train or whatever, just minding your own business when all of a sudden, someone sits next to you and the pungent odour hanging off them clogs your lungs. Not exactly a pleasant experience is it? The worse part is sitting there and thinking whether or not to move. Sure, it's the wisest thing to do, but at the same time you might feel guilty about hurting the poor person's feelings.

Which brings us to the guilty person. Seriously, do these people have any shame? I'd be mortified if I ever left the house smelling like a used sweatsuit or if my breath smelled like a dead animal. People may not express it openly, but I'd be well aware that there are people around me thinking 'that dude reeks! When was the last time he bathed!?' Nice, huh? It's one way to make an unflattering lasting impression. It's also a dumb way to embarrass yourself. You'd think that people would have the common sense to actually make themselves presentable when they leave the house. Even if you don't feel like getting too dressed up, there shouldn't be a reason for you to smell like crap when you leave the house.

Well, serial B.O offenders, there's now a reason for you lot to clean up your act. According to US eptomologists, bad smells can attract 'potentially deadly mosquitoes'. According to studies conducted by the University of California, the carbon dioxide people exhale and skin odours attract female aedes aegypti mosquitoes. They hunt down the source of the smell, bite and spread diseases like dengue fever.

It's not just heat, bad hygiene and stress that cause these smells. According to leading naturopath Leah Hechtman, the food we eat can also play a part, particularly certain herbs and spices. She did, however, state that food high in vitamin B1 could ward off mosquitoes, and NSW Health states that light-coloured, loose-fitting clothes and covered footwear can minimise your chances of being bitten.

I know a vast majority of you will read this article and think 'Pffftt!!!! Get outta here, Bernd! I can't believe you're scared of mosquitoes!'. But to you, I respectfully say 'fine, we'll see whose laughing when you're suffering from a virus thanks to your own irresponsibility and stinkiness!' Ok, I've had my share of mosquito bites and have been fortunate to not catch anything serious, but you know, one day you might not be so lucky.

Even if you're fortunate enough not to get seriously ill from a mosquito bite, putting up with the itch would mean at least one or two weeks of frustration. Also, they just look plain ugly, especially when you've got them in bunches. And all because you didn't take better care of yourself. Would you seriously have to guts to walk around at the beach on a nice, Summer day with a body full of mosquito bites, with people gawking at the red blotches on your back, chest and arms? Didn't think so!

Time to scrub up, folks. Here in Australia, Summer is just right around the corner and so that means more mosquitoes will be buzzing around looking for victims to latch onto. If you're not careful, it could be you!

And also, spare a thought for the poor people who have to put up with the pong. Not only would your little mishap be hell for them, but you would also be bringing unneccessary shame on yourself.

You should have known better

Some time last week, a 14-year old Australian teenager was arrested for drug possession in Bali, where he was on holidays with his parents.
He and a friend had apparently been approached by a drug dealer on their way to get a massage. The boy, named Lewis Mason bought $A25 worth of marijuana from the dealer. He was arrested after leaving the place he got the massage. He could face a maximum of 12 years in jail if convicted but his lawyer, Mohammad Rifan, stated that because of his age Mason could be charged under provisions for juveniles, which would mean a maximum of 6 years. Unfortunately, Indonesia does not have a juvenile court system and so Mason would have to serve out his sentence in an adult prison if convicted, most likely in Bali's 'Kerobokan Jail' where Australians Schepelle Corby and the 'Bali 9' are serving their sentences.

Naturally, Mason has been distressed throughout all this and his parents are devastated. It was also reported that the drug dealer who approached Mason had told him that he hadn't eaten in days and desparately needed the money, and so Mason was simply doing him a favour. Mohammad Rifan also claimed that the Kerobokan Jail was 'a nightmare for adults' and so would not be a safe place for a teenager.
Meanwhile, Australian Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd had announced that he and the Australian Government were working closely with Indonesian authorities to bring Mason back home.

Ok, I don't mean to kick the kid while he's down, but I find it hard to feel too sympathetic over what's happened to him. While I pray that he and his family are safe and doing well, the kid still committed a crime in Indonesia and so should still be subject to their laws. Would it be fair to others who are doing time for the same crime if he was pardoned just because he was younger than them? No, it wouldn't. Sure, we can all hope that he doesn't go in heavy but if he ends up serving the maximum penalty for his crime then people should get over it. It's Indonesia's laws and no one else's.

As for the kid's excuse that he felt sorry for the dealer, come on!!!! If he wanted to help the guy out, why not just give him money and NOT BUY THE DRUGS? Even if he had no intention of using the drugs the fact that he purchased them makes him look like a fool. At 14-years old one should be aware that drug possession is a criminal offence and in recent years it's become pretty clear that such a crime is a pretty big deal in Indonesia and that harsh, sometimes life-threatening penalities await offenders. When you apply for a passport you are warned of these things. Well, Mason is a 14-year old boy AND has an Australian passport. He should have known better. It doesn't take a genius to know that if someone offers you illicit drugs AND asks money in exchange, YOU SAY NO!!!!! Not only would it be a waste of your time, but it's a lousy way to lose money and could cost you your life.

Surely Mason has heard of Schapelle Corby, Michael Sacatides and the 'Bali Nine'. They're all serving prison sentences for drug offences in Indonesia and two of the Bali Nine ringleaders are on death row. Better yet, has he heard of Van Tuong Nguyen, the young man hanged in Singapore back in 2005 for the same crime? While Mason may not serve the same harsh sentences they got, he should have known that what he did was wrong and would land him in big trouble, especially in Indonesia.

At the end of the day, no one should have to go through what he's going through, and no parent should have to see their child caught up in this ordeal. But seriously, and I hate to say it, but the kid is simply paying for his own mistake and while Rudd and the Australian government can fight all they want for his release, their battle could be futile. As for Lewis Mason, I wish him all the best and hope that he's learned a valuable lesson from all this. And I also hope that others would learn from this story and realise that doing dumb things overseas may seem like fun, but in the end you could end up paying a hefty price for your actions - and help won't come easily.