How not to punish someone

It's only natural for people to quarrel and bicker every once in a while and at least one participant will hold a grudge and punish the other for having the temerity to annoy them. Spouses fight, siblings fight, parents and their kids fight, friends fight.....and on it goes.
That being said, if you feel that punishment is necessary to set the other person straight, there's a fine line between being reasonable and being totally insane. Such was the case of the latter in two newspaper articles I read recently.

The first story featured a mother in China who, in an attempt to prevent her daughter from growing up spoiled and arrogant, lied to her child for 13 years and told her that she wasn't her daughter's biological mother. The girl, Cheng Cheng, grew up into a well-mannered, hard-working and independent girl but has been led to believe that her 'biological' mother died when she was very young.
Her unrepentant mother told reporters that she only did what she did so that her daughter would rise above her 'current' environment and grow up straight.

Well, all I have to say to that mother is that if your daughter hasn't already learned the truth, you may as well live this ridiculous lie for all eternity or prepare yourself for a psychologically traumatised child who will have every right to hate you for the rest of her life. Yeah, I'll bet having a spoiled brat doesn't sound so bad now, huh!? If you really wanted her to grow up to become a good person, why not just stress to her the importance of hard work and humility like any other SANE parent would!? It's a tried and tested method that has paid dividends over generations.

Our next story takes place in Osaka, Japan and looks at a bickering husband and wife situation. Yeah, we all know how colourful such occurrences can be! After getting into a heated argument with her husband, Masumi Nishino decided to get revenge on her hubby (who decided to sleep in his study room) by lighting pieces of paper on fire and then pushing them through gaps in the wall surrounding the study room. She then went to bed.
Later that night, her husband woke up to the smell of smoke and realised that his wife was trapped in her room. He immediately sprang into action and rescued her from their burning home.

Man, I wonder how it feels to be Ms. Nishino. You get into a squabble with your spouse (which isn't always bad), decide to punish them for ticking you off, but up destroying your own home AND making the one person whom you condemned to harsh punishment look like a big hero by saving you from the mess you created. If She really wanted to get even with her hubby, why not just give him the silent treatment? Why not just dye all his white shirts pink? Why not puncture the tyres on his car? Hell, why not kick him out of the bedroom for as long as the grudge is still burning!? ANY OF THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE!!!! Starting a fire in your own home and putting both your lives in danger? Really!?
Mr. Nishino, I don't know what your current status with your wife is, and no offense to you both, but she sounds unstable, dude. Just saying.

Bottom line, if you want to punish someone for rubbing you the wrong way, by all means go for it. But there is a fine line between punishing someone and just being a complete idiot who intends to ruin lives. And also, if you plan on going all out just to put someone in their place, at least make sure that it won't backfire and get you instead and that if it does, at least make sure that the damage will be minimal. Remember, your intent is to simply remind that person what will happen if they cross you again, not to kill them or scar them for life!