Motivation

I am a fitness junkie. For four or five days a week I punish myself for one and a half to two hours. But I don't just train to 'look good.' I never set out to be someone who has a muscular frame but cannot back it up. I'm not exactly the reincarnation of Adonis but I am physically strong and I do have great stamina. I'm also proud to say that I did it all by myself, without the help of a trainer. I simply did some research and devised my own training program based on what I learned.
I'm sure many of you are asking 'What motivates you?' The answer is a picture frame hanging on my bedroom wall. For my eighteenth birthday my Mother gave me a giant picture frame with a collage of photos from my childhood. In most of them, I was quite chubby. Every time I look at that frame I relive what it was like to be a nerdy, video game-addicted kid packing a few extra kilos and feeling insecure at school when I was around my slimmer, athletic friends.

If I remember correctly, I started putting on weight at around ten years old. I was playing too many video games, watching too much TV, eating a lot and not playing outside like all the other boys. I was kind of a recluse. My friends on the other hand spent most of their weekends shooting hoops and playing sport and so not all of them blew up into a jiggly beast like me. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't the only fat kid at school, but the difference is that I looked quite normal with clothes on, therefore people wouldn't have guessed that I was chunky underneath.

When I was eleven, it all came out. I'd blown up to the point of developing a gut and the man boobs that usually come with it. I felt horrible looking at the mirror but I didn't really give it much thought - until swimming lessons came about. My elementary school made swimming lessons mandatory for all grades and so every November for two weeks all students had to go to the local swimming pool for lessons. Needless to say, I dreaded this. While I was a pretty good swimmer, immature schoolkids will only remember you as a fat kid withy man boobs who had no business squeezing his wobbly bits into budgie smugglers.
Day one finally rolled in and there I was, shaking in the men's room while my fellow students changed into their gear. I still dressed and wondering how the hell I was supposed to blend into this crowd of mostly slim and athletic kids. Well, I coun't dwell on the thought much longer as a teacher suddenly knocked on the door and shouted 'Come on, guys let's go!' So I quickly changed and reluctantly joined my fellow students. Not many girls took notice of me but I heard it loud and clear from the other guys.
'Damn, man! I thought you were slim!'
'Nice tits, mate!'
'Dude! You don't look fat when you got clothes on!'
Nice huh? Way to boost my ego.
It's pretty funny now that I look back on it, and I knew my mates were just clowning around, but deep down it was pretty embarrasing, especially since I only had myself to blame. Anyway, the bantering died down a few days later and my friends and I spent the remainder of those two weeks swapping swimming tips and bragging about how proficient we were at certain strokes. But the damage was done. I was exposed as a fat kid with man boobs. Sure, there were other guys who were bigger than me but at least they weren't hiding it. People expected them to have a rolly-poly physique. Whenever I got into an argument with a friend, they'd have the perfect comeback to shut me up.

Well, that was a long time ago and trust me, I've well and truly left that chubby kid behind. I started working out when I was sixteen and never looked back. The energy I used to burn playing video games is now spent on torturous hours in the gym and I can now walk around the beach shirtless. But I'll always have a special place for that kid. Subconsciously, I think he's the one that motivates me to do good every day. That kid was picked on and didn't think highly of himself. That's all the motivation I need to ensure that people don't look down on me like that again.
Well, he certainly motivates me while I'm training. When I get up in the morning and see that picture frame on my wall, the first thought is 'Ok, mate. Time to train. Fat kid is no more!' But above all, that kid was who I used to be and so I should be proud of the fact that I made a change in that part of my life all by myself.

Observations from a former addict

I was once a video game addict. From the time I began playing computer games as a six-year old up until I finally kicked the 'addiction' thirteen years later, I spent my weekends glued in front of the TV, controller in hand, wasting countless hours playing games. If that wasn't bad enough, once I thought the TV had enough of a workout, I was off to the computer. Gaming became the focal point of my entire weekend, in between my homework and house chores. But my parents probably saved me from being a full-blown addict. They only allowed me to play on weekends so I could focus on school during the weekdays.
Needless to say, weekdays were pure torture for me. I hated school and I would usually sit in the classroom coming up with a new battle plan in my head to beat a certain character or get through a certain level. But I still managed to keep my grades up. Yes, I was addicted and once I came home from school on Friday afternoon, it was straight to gaming.

In 2004, I finally kicked the habit. I packed up my consoles, got a new laptop and didn't install any games in it. While I miss playing, I've been out of it for so long I no longer have the urge to do so anymore. I was lucky. According to an article I read in the paper recently, video game addiction has gone out of control. In fact, it has escalated to the point of people entering rehab and going through counselling for their addictions and some gamers becoming violent when they can't get their fix. And it's not just the young 'nerds' and 'geeks' who are getting hooked now. Even middle-aged adults are starting to spiral out of control.
It's funny how times have changed. When I was young, video game addicts were considered uncool nerds with no social skills. Now, it appears everyone is playing and that it's considered a pretty cool activity. Some people even make a career out of it. No doubt that's probably how I would be making my living today had I kept playing.

Multiplayer online games are taking the most blame for these addictions. Psychological reports suggest that excessive participation in these games can adversely affect people's emotional stability, as well as their personal lives. I guess there is something unsettling about the idea of routinely playing these online games for long hours, sometimes for days at a time and forgetting that you had a life away from the computer screen, not to mention interacting with complete strangers online at the expense of your real friends and family. While recent studies have disproved the cliched views that video game addicts are socially-inept geeks, the consequences can be likened to that of drug, alcohol and gambling addiction, hence why the American Medical Association is thinking of recognising it as a mental disorder by 2012.

During the prime years of my addiction, I never went mad when I couldn't play. I didn't sit around on a weekday twitching uncontrollably wanting to kill someone. I believe that it's because my parents were smart enough to set boundaries for me. For any parent out there who is thinking about letting their young ones play, I strongly suggest you not only set the amount of hours they can play, but also let them know that there is more to life than just mashing buttons and losing themselves in another world.
In regards to online games, I never participated in them, and after reading about what they can do to a person, I'm glad I didn't. I was already pretty hooked on consoles and computer games and I'd hate to think about how badly I would've turned out had I played online. I guess I got out at the right time when online gaming wasn't as big as it is now.
By no means am I saying that video games are bad and that people shouldn't play them. But people should learn to exercise self-control and discipline. Go out and enjoy life and spend time with your friends and family rather than waste it all sitting in a dark room, blood-shot eyes glued on to a screen and living like a hermit. Drug, alcohol and gambling addiction is bad enough. Do we really need to start institutionalising people for playing games too?

New Kid on the Blog

Hey, all.

Finally got this blog up and running.

I like to follow what is going on in the news, both at home and abroad, especially what is going on in the world of pop culture and offer my personal views and opinions on them.

I'll also write about things I observe and whatever is on my mind at the moment.

So sit back, relax and enjoy.

Yours truly,

Bernd.